I often find myself in tears over the weightier matters of life. Someone's particular hardship or situation will get to me and I find myself turning into a puddle on the floor. As a recent example, I was driving home in my car a couple nights ago, thinking about the little girl I've been nannying for the past couple years. Her Father left when she was 8 months old and he moved across the country. He never sees her. He's completely shut her out of his life. I was thinking about her and how unfair the whole thing is. She deserves to have a daddy who's entire world revolves around her. She deserves nothing less. And it just sucks so much that she doesn't get that. Once I started crying I just couldn't stop. I couldn't stop thinking about what it will be like for her when she gets older and wonders why her dad wasn't there. I fear that she'll question her own value as a daughter, as a person. Driving home in tears, I felt as though my heart was painfully expanding, growing down into my stomach and up into my throat, threatening each breath as I gasped for air.
It doesn't happen often, but I do feel much of the time as though it's on the surface. I look around in the world and I see broken people. Hurt and wounded and suffering. If I think too hard on any of it, I turn into a hopeless mess. I feel the weight of the world and it presses down on me, threatening to drown me as though I'm trapped under a wide boat in the untamed sea. So much hurting and I am only one small person. I suppose this is largely why I find too much human interaction quite exhausting.
I'm not sure if this is mainly an INFJ characteristic, or if it umbrellas out among all "NF's", or if possibly it's more of an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) thing. Do any of you experience this? This overwhelming burden of responsibility to take careful care of everyone. I want to know each person so deeply, but I also fear it.