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  1. #1
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Default Living Fe from an Fi perspective

    Or maybe a Te perspective? Eh, I lost myself. I’ll never, ever be an INFJ, but I thought I’d describe how Fe can feel as it comes and goes from my home base Fi/Te perspective. It's my latest project. I will ALWAYS be an enfp, but Fe is a fun game.

    Perhaps most Fi users can tap into Fe a little bit naturally? I most certainly never have.

    Things I notice-

    Fe feels like buttered, fresh baked rolls out of the oven. It is all warm and cuddly, but intensifies if I interact with other Fe users. Together we amplify the Fe feelings of togetherness. I want to know more about their mother-in-law, their soccer game this weekend, their new house. I just like watching them talk..It makes me happy.

    Fe is dainty, refined, neat, picky. Fe likes nice things. Fe cringes at that “substance” on the passenger floorboard of the car. Fe seeks to shop at Macy’s. Perhaps there is some Si contamination but Fe sees all the imperfections in cheap items and enjoys quality. The marker colored-on futon? Noooooooooo……. Fe has fairly high standards for cleanliness. I often have had people ask how I could accomplish so much as a single mom. It was because I wasn’t scrubbing that stuff off the baseboards like Fe tells me to.

    Fe modulates movements. It refines gestures, words, comments. It adds delicate precision.

    At its strongest Fe is very sparing of words-like a mental stutter. Every phrase gets translated into something pleasant. It can take forever to write an email. I keep changing the words. They need to be precise and correct and pleasent. If the sentences do not flow, I cant write them. I have written twenty posts about this and put each on a private blog because I cant post them here.

    Fe says “Shhhhhh….”. It explains that my view is unimportant. The others view has precedence. Why use so many words? They do not need to know the inner thoughts.

    Fe sees Fi and senses noise and cacophony. Why is Fi so loud? To signal distress Fe actually drops the volume of conversation, looks to the lower right and indirectly implies discomfort.

    Fe can feel a bit exclusive.

    Fe uses verbal retrieval eye techniques-mostly to my right. This would be imagined conversation from NLP if I recall correctly.

    Fe gets very calm in chaos. Fe says to check my boxes. The building has turned into a melting pit of doom around me, and the world is ending. But I checked my boxes with a smile! SiFe me thinks.

    Fe does not want to stand up or out. That is not its place.

    Rituals are intriguing. Fe wants things a certain way and enjoys the sameness, the consistent nature of the ceremony. It makes me feel connected.

    Fe speaks a different language-a language of pauses, silences, gaps that are finely coordinated between the speakers. Those gaps allow for the unspoken to be said. Fe is not direct.

    What is not said matters more than what is said. WARNING: Fi/Te users don’t do this. We cannot see it. We are blind to it. We realize something is missing at an early age. After being hurt a few times we begin to assume the worst-and thus become a bit paranoid-for an ENFP or demanding of all information-for an ISTJ. Others may do this as well.

    Also Fe will read into what Fi users say. Fe assume the message will be translated into something less direct, softer, and the unspoken harsher critique will be understood. Te just says things. However for an Fe user, you may read much worse into what the Te person said assuming those unspoken layers are present.


    This could very well be the odd Fe I am tapping into. It comes and goes with some days not here at all.

    I continue to play as Fe gives me a choice outside of Te. Rather than become frustrated, I can become calm, burrowed in a little hole, watching.

    Also-I have an odd genetic condition resulting in chronic tendonitis. Fe eliminates this chronic pain, making me think it causes increases in natural endorphins and cortisol.

    Hysterically, Fe quibbles with Te. Fi just watches. It’s like sitting in the backseat of the car watching mom and dad argue.

    Fe: Those dogs are really not clean.
    Te: Get rid of them then.
    Fi: I love the dogs.
    Te: Shave the dogs to remove extra hair
    Fe: That would look quite bad. We cant do that. Maybe leave them outside?
    Te: Meh, it’s just dog hair.
    Fi: It’s cold outside
    Te: Especially with a butt naked shaved dog. Hahahahaha….
    Fe: *cringes*

    I get to see Ni a bit now and then. Stuff just is other stuff. tree=broccoli=tree=broccoli=tree=broccoli. With each step it gets enriched in detail. Te gets annoyed at some point at the pointlessness of this Ni perception....WTF?


  2. #2
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Default

    PS-My entp best friend is laughing her ass off at me. It's quite funny.

  3. #3
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    I...uh...am not sure how to comment.

    I identified with some of the elements you wrote, but did not identify with many of them. I think a lot of what you write as Fe is actually more of a combo of several functions....you allude to that by mentioning Si in a few occasions...but suffice it to say I don't think it's super easy to break down a function into JUST a function; there will always be other supporting processes, so FeSi will be fundamentally different in many ways from NiFe, or NeTiFe.

    Anyway, I've always found it quite fascinating how Fi users view Fe. I think some Fi-users are incredibly off as to their interpretations of Fe, and the motivations of Fe users, but if anything the interpretations - even if off-base - highlight the fact that Fe and Fi are really different. And I know Fe users can do the same with respect to Fi as well. I mean, I might utilize Fi in certain situations, but it will be of a highly different flavor than those who use it as a dominant process...almost to the point that it probably shouldn't even be viewed as the same thing.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  4. #4
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Fe sees Fi and senses noise and cacophony. Why is Fi so loud? To signal distress Fe actually drops the volume of conversation, looks to the lower right and indirectly implies discomfort.
    I'm not sure if you mean loud literally or in mood. I find Fe affects/creates the general atmosphere of a room and/or adjusts to it, but Fi does not adjust, and that can make it's emotional vibe too disturbing to suit Fe; Fi is "inappropriate", even if it's subtle and shies away. Literally, Fi-doms tend to be quiet people and are often not that expressive of their emotions. However, I find NeFi can be very loud, haha.


    What is not said matters more than what is said. WARNING: Fi/Te users don’t do this. We cannot see it. We are blind to it. We realize something is missing at an early age. After being hurt a few times we begin to assume the worst-and thus become a bit paranoid-for an ENFP or demanding of all information-for an ISTJ. Others may do this as well.

    Also Fe will read into what Fi users say. Fe assume the message will be translated into something less direct, softer, and the unspoken harsher critique will be understood. Te just says things. However for an Fe user, you may read much worse into what the Te person said assuming those unspoken layers are present.
    I relate to this and I don't. I am very guilty of reading into things, and what is not said can be as if not more important than what is said. I sometimes trust vibes over actual words and/or I am very sensitive to word choices.

    I agree that Fi and Te don't have the social finesses of Fe (which practically defines finesse), and that can make Fi-doms obliviously blunt, confused as to why people are offended by them, and then paranoid in future interactions. That's a little bit of the Fi Si loop in me, being an INFP. I think an ENFP may be plagued by even more bluntness from tertiary Te, but less paranoia from past experience, as Si is inferior.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #5
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    Or maybe a Te perspective? Eh, I lost myself. I’ll never, ever be an INFJ, but I thought I’d describe how Fe can feel as it comes and goes from my home base Fi/Te perspective. It's my latest project. I will ALWAYS be an enfp, but Fe is a fun game.

    Perhaps most Fi users can tap into Fe a little bit naturally? I most certainly never have.

    Things I notice-

    Fe feels like buttered, fresh baked rolls out of the oven. It is all warm and cuddly, but intensifies if I interact with other Fe users. Together we amplify the Fe feelings of togetherness. I want to know more about their mother-in-law, their soccer game this weekend, their new house. I just like watching them talk..It makes me happy.

    Fe is dainty, refined, neat, picky. Fe likes nice things. Fe cringes at that “substance” on the passenger floorboard of the car. Fe seeks to shop at Macy’s. Perhaps there is some Si contamination but Fe sees all the imperfections in cheap items and enjoys quality. The marker colored-on futon? Noooooooooo……. Fe has fairly high standards for cleanliness. I often have had people ask how I could accomplish so much as a single mom. It was because I wasn’t scrubbing that stuff off the baseboards like Fe tells me to.

    Fe modulates movements. It refines gestures, words, comments. It adds delicate precision.

    At its strongest Fe is very sparing of words-like a mental stutter. Every phrase gets translated into something pleasant. It can take forever to write an email. I keep changing the words. They need to be precise and correct and pleasent. If the sentences do not flow, I cant write them. I have written twenty posts about this and put each on a private blog because I cant post them here.

    Fe says “Shhhhhh….”. It explains that my view is unimportant. The others view has precedence. Why use so many words? They do not need to know the inner thoughts.

    Fe sees Fi and senses noise and cacophony. Why is Fi so loud? To signal distress Fe actually drops the volume of conversation, looks to the lower right and indirectly implies discomfort.

    Fe can feel a bit exclusive.

    Fe uses verbal retrieval eye techniques-mostly to my right. This would be imagined conversation from NLP if I recall correctly.

    Fe gets very calm in chaos. Fe says to check my boxes. The building has turned into a melting pit of doom around me, and the world is ending. But I checked my boxes with a smile! SiFe me thinks.

    Fe does not want to stand up or out. That is not its place.

    Rituals are intriguing. Fe wants things a certain way and enjoys the sameness, the consistent nature of the ceremony. It makes me feel connected.

    Fe speaks a different language-a language of pauses, silences, gaps that are finely coordinated between the speakers. Those gaps allow for the unspoken to be said. Fe is not direct.

    What is not said matters more than what is said. WARNING: Fi/Te users don’t do this. We cannot see it. We are blind to it. We realize something is missing at an early age. After being hurt a few times we begin to assume the worst-and thus become a bit paranoid-for an ENFP or demanding of all information-for an ISTJ. Others may do this as well.

    Also Fe will read into what Fi users say. Fe assume the message will be translated into something less direct, softer, and the unspoken harsher critique will be understood. Te just says things. However for an Fe user, you may read much worse into what the Te person said assuming those unspoken layers are present.


    This could very well be the odd Fe I am tapping into. It comes and goes with some days not here at all.

    I continue to play as Fe gives me a choice outside of Te. Rather than become frustrated, I can become calm, burrowed in a little hole, watching.

    Also-I have an odd genetic condition resulting in chronic tendonitis. Fe eliminates this chronic pain, making me think it causes increases in natural endorphins and cortisol.

    Hysterically, Fe quibbles with Te. Fi just watches. It’s like sitting in the backseat of the car watching mom and dad argue.

    Fe: Those dogs are really not clean.
    Te: Get rid of them then.
    Fi: I love the dogs.
    Te: Shave the dogs to remove extra hair
    Fe: That would look quite bad. We cant do that. Maybe leave them outside?
    Te: Meh, it’s just dog hair.
    Fi: It’s cold outside
    Te: Especially with a butt naked shaved dog. Hahahahaha….
    Fe: *cringes*

    I get to see Ni a bit now and then. Stuff just is other stuff. tree=broccoli=tree=broccoli=tree=broccoli. With each step it gets enriched in detail. Te gets annoyed at some point at the pointlessness of this Ni perception....WTF?

    the organization of this post gives me a panic attack!!!!

    Apply some Je on THIS post for #$#@'s sake!

  6. #6
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    Also-I have an odd genetic condition resulting in chronic tendonitis. Fe eliminates this chronic pain, making me think it causes increases in natural endorphins and cortisol.
    You hear that, people? Rub an FJ today. Jesus was an FJ. I rest my case.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  7. #7
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    I...uh...am not sure how to comment.

    I identified with some of the elements you wrote, but did not identify with many of them. I think a lot of what you write as Fe is actually more of a combo of several functions....you allude to that by mentioning Si in a few occasions...but suffice it to say I don't think it's super easy to break down a function into JUST a function; there will always be other supporting processes, so FeSi will be fundamentally different in many ways from NiFe, or NeTiFe.

    Anyway, I've always found it quite fascinating how Fi users view Fe. I think some Fi-users are incredibly off as to their interpretations of Fe, and the motivations of Fe users, but if anything the interpretations - even if off-base - highlight the fact that Fe and Fi are really different. And I know Fe users can do the same with respect to Fi as well. I mean, I might utilize Fi in certain situations, but it will be of a highly different flavor than those who use it as a dominant process...almost to the point that it probably shouldn't even be viewed as the same thing.
    cascadeco, I do agree with the great potential for interpretive issues. The Fe-Fi language barrier is sort of a disaster honestly. Perhaps most people can tap a little into Fe or Fi even if it is not their "native" emotive function? I cannot which could explain why I am a little more odd than most. The few times I have felt it in the past were distinctly biologically induced-nesting when I was pregnant and once on a medication.

    The Fe comes and goes in oscillating waves. As it comes it distinctly ramps down Ne. Then little bits of puny Ni show up. Fi peaks here and there but I tend to suppress it-it isnt really fit for public consumption. Te very distinctly argues them eliminates Fe.

    The reason I think it really is Fe is the response it has on Fe users around me. It's like magic. It turns ENTP boys into lumps of jello. ( I solemnly swear I will never use my cheated Fe to manipulate the ENTP boys)

    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    You hear that, people? Rub an FJ today. Jesus was an FJ. I rest my case.
    Over a glass of red wine, my good friend Dr. Jung suggested you read "The Transcendent Function" a short essay. Jung suggested the end goal was to be able to use the function-in both attitudes-introverted and extroverted, at the same time. Thus Fe and Fi simultaneously.

    Also please PM me your address so I can send you a christmas card.

  8. #8
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    Over a glass of red wine, my good friend Dr. Jung suggested you read "The Transcendent Function" a short essay. Jung suggested the end goal was to be able to use the function-in both attitudes-introverted and extroverted, at the same time. Thus Fe and Fi simultaneously.]
    A worthy goal, potentially really important for total communication. But...

    I have Fi as relief. I think this contributes to , if not a distrust, then a blanket lack of practical ability to use and be comfortable with Fe. To engage in Fe, to feel it, I have to go against my normal actual sense of checking and re-energising and re-developing. In a word, I cannot relieve myself while Fe-ing. (Same probably for ENTPs stuck with Fi, or ENFPs working with Ti, and so on.) It might be easier to develop an opposite attitude for higher level functions. Like, I could probably cope with Ti easier than Fe.

    Also please PM me your address so I can send you a christmas card.
    Shenanigans! Social rituals! I *feel* a blockage coming on.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  9. #9
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    Also please PM me your address so I can send you a christmas card.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    Shenanigans! Social rituals! I *feel* a blockage coming on.
    Funny thing happened yesterday.

    My ESFJ coworker was passing out candy canes. He came to my cube and asked me if I wanted any and I said no, but thank you. He asked me if I liked them, I said no, then he said I've already eaten a whole box and am trying to get rid of them, blah blah blah, if you want some they're on the table.

    So then I started thinking about candy canes and then realized I just don't like peppermint candy canes. So then I got up and told him that and said that as a peppermint alternative I'd find some other flavors of candy canes and put them out for people to eat.

    We then looked at each other in silence and then he said, "I hate Christmas. It's the most god-awful depressing time of the year." He was totally serious and I agreed wholeheartedly. And then we conspired on where to find cinnamon candy canes.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  10. #10
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    the organization of this post gives me a panic attack!!!!

    Apply some Je on THIS post for #$#@'s sake!

    Your post really caught me off-guard.

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