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  1. #31
    Member Waffle's Avatar
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    They have. Thank you for posting!

  2. #32
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    I hear you Waffle
    I have been in a relationship with an ESTP for seven years now and have found it so difficult to leave. I just don't want to hurt him.
    I am at the point now that I just can't do it anymore. I am thinking of just unplugging this computer right now and taking off.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffle View Post
    It's probably been discussed before, but it seems like there is quite a lot of bias against the ENFP. The few complaints I've heard are that we're too childish and more melodramatic than any other NF (Which I have to disagree with. I knew an INFP who outdid me by miles). Do you believe any personality type is better than another?

    EDIT: Alright, so I guess I didn't make this clear (I do tend to not make sense a lot of the time ) but I was wondering if you've had any negative experiences with the ENFP and what made you mad at them. Personal growth pages can only tell you so much. I'd love to hear your real life experience stories.

    Being an ENFP, I have had my share. I find my fellow ENFPs to often be overexcited about everything and anything, and tend to run my energy levels in to the ground.
    for me i didn't know who enfp was so i made a hasty judgment initially. i don't find enfps to be anything toward me but positive. also if i'm correctly assigning type, they are inspirational people who strive on making people see the best in others. of all these mbti types, enfps are most likely the types i jibe with as friends the best! they like me yet leave me alone (still need to work on how i can be a good friend to them). on a social level they understand my intent moreso than other types and i find their modus operandi energizing.

    i would have problems in an intimate relationship with this type but for friendship i love them.

  4. #34
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    The only ENFP that I've gotten to know just a tad bit is Wonkavision.
    He's a smart ass, but its the charm that keeps us coming back

    I'm pretty sure that my ex bf was an ENFP [i swear now, he wasn't NT].
    He was cool and all in the beginning....but he just didn't have his crap together, not to mention he had ADHD and all that combined really drove me nuts.
    He himself wasn't a very deep individual now that I look back at it....
    What was I possibly thinking?!

    Er... anyway. Yes, love ENFPs
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  5. #35
    Member sunshinEnfp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ayoitsStepho View Post
    The only ENFP that I've gotten to know just a tad bit is Wonkavision.
    He's a smart ass, but its the charm that keeps us coming back

    I'm pretty sure that my ex bf was an ENFP [i swear now, he wasn't NT].
    He was cool and all in the beginning....but he just didn't have his crap together, not to mention he had ADHD and all that combined really drove me nuts.
    He himself wasn't a very deep individual now that I look back at it....
    What was I possibly thinking?!

    Er... anyway. Yes, love ENFPs
    Not sure if that was directed at just your boyfriend or at all ENFPs, but I hate that people think that we aren't deep! Sure, it SEEMS like we operate on a superficial level, but that's just a way of connecting with people. It does not mean that there isn't substance. (But hmm, even as I write this, I wonder... haha, just kidding.)

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffle View Post
    I say this as a problem because people I've dated have found out how unhappy I'd been afterwards but had stayed anyway. This angered them to no end, because a relationship is two parts of a whole. They felt like I was wasting their time.
    The same goes for my ENFP best friend. He stayed in his relationship waaaaaaaay past the time where he kept loving his partner, and his partner began to grow more attached. He felt bad and stayed until it became so glaringly obvious that it wouldn't work out.
    Also, I can't tell you how many times I've read that page, and I'd liek to say I'm slowly improving. I used to never speak my mind in a relationship, but now I try to be honest, even at the risk of upsetting the other person. So far I've found that honesty is the best policy.
    Oh man, this is exactly the problem I have had in relationships. If I'm at all interested in someone, I find it easy to establish an instant rapport- in fact, I can hardly help it. But I also can't help but know very soon afterward whether there's any actual potential in the relationship. The problem is by this point the other person is already attached, and has certain expectations about my feelings towards them- even if we've only hung out once or twice. Seeing the potential for hurt feelings, I decide to not be so hastily judgmental, and give them a chance to win me over before making a final decision.

    Cut to months or years later, when I'm still dating this person who's never been right for me, solely because I empathized with them so quickly.

    The hardest part is that I always feel I am being really honest in relationships- I never lie, or say anything I don't mean. My general attitude has been "Hey, I don't want to be with this person forever, but if they want to hang out for a while anyway, why not?"- and I've said as much to partners before.

    The problem is, if you don't just break up with someone, they are never going to get that you have stopped considering them as a permanent option, no matter what you say. Particularly if you're an ENFP I think, because our empathetic behavior can often belie our true feelings for someone.

    I'm getting much better about trusting my initial judgments, so at least I don't convince myself to see potential in relationships that doesn't exist (as much as I used to anyway). But it is still really hard to tell someone you aren't interested in them any more when you know, from their perspective, that you've seemed totally dedicated and interested from the start, and shouldn't be ready to call it quits so soon.

    So I just try to remember that altruism is a terrible and condescending reason to stay in a relationship with anyone heh. And I am getting better about being more reserved at the beginning of a relationship, so that the other person doesn't feel swept up in a whirlwind romance right from the start, only to have it unexpectedly fizzle out.

    Basically, I'm learning that in order to be respectful and honest, sometimes I have to let my empathy and general interest in people show a little bit less, even though this can feel self-abnegating in the moment.

    But it is difficult. ENFPs get some flak for carelessly manipulating people's emotions, but it's not all on us. People are such dicks to each other all the time that if you're just kind and respectful to people, you often convince them that they occupy some particularly special place in your affections, even if that was not your intent. ENFPs may desire other people's approval, but people also tend to need OUR affection and approval more than they might like to admit, or than is fair to expect of us. I still occasionally get bitter emails from old friends or even exes complaining that I'm a jerk for not being in touch more- even though the entire relationship is about me supporting them through their troubles, and they can't be bothered to consider whether I get anything out of our interactions.

    Actually, that describes most of my interpersonal relations, come to think of it. I know a lot of people who need to figure out how to get their shit together themselves, rather than always expecting me to do it for them just because my advice is usually right haha.

    Sorry for the tl;dr, but this is my first post...

  7. #37
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    It's easy as an enfp to be annoying because everything is exciting and new. Just look at it this way, when everyone else is old and crotchety you will seem very young compared to them.

    This forum has much worse bias than what you will find against enfp. You actually get less of an attitude as an ENFP. If you take time to think out your posts you really don't get much of the "enfp's are stupid and shallow flirts" thrown at you on this forum.

    Also, some people confuse ENFP and ESFP when they talk about ENFPs.

  8. #38
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    ^I think that's true. A lot of what I've read when people complain about ENFPs seems more ESFP. But ESFPs are one of my absolute favs, so I can get with it anyway.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    It's easy as an enfp to be annoying because everything is exciting and new. Just look at it this way, when everyone else is old and crotchety you will seem very young compared to them.

    This forum has much worse bias than what you will find against enfp. You actually get less of an attitude as an ENFP. If you take time to think out your posts you really don't get much of the "enfp's are stupid and shallow flirts" thrown at you on this forum.

    Also, some people confuse ENFP and ESFP when they talk about ENFPs.
    Yeah!

    I'm the only stupid, and shallow, flirt allowed in here.

  10. #40
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    The only thing I can say that I consistently don't like about the ENFPs I know is that when they feel something either they try to get me to feel it too or I pick it up out of the ether. Personally I'm quite happy being cool running and no it doesn't mean there's anything wrong.

    Mind you I'd guess my incessant thinking and delving into concept makes them cringe too so all's fair.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

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