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  1. #51
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juice View Post
    I talked to Whatever about this and she said she doesn't feel that way at all anymore... The OP is almost 3 years old... I'm ENFJ and Whatever is one of the people I get along best with in here.
    I didn't notice that the OP was THAT old.
    But, I don't notice minor details ever.

    I was also talking about my own experience.

  2. #52
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    I feel like this implies it is surprising to find good ENFJs.
    No way! I was reassuring the OP (whatever) who at the time was disillusioned because of her ex that ENFJs are the gear and she she shouldn't write them off. Of all the types, ENFJ is probably one of the most likely I would pursue a friendship with.

  3. #53
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    No way! I was reassuring the OP (whatever) who at the time was disillusioned because of her ex that ENFJs are the gear and she she shouldn't write them off. Of all the types, ENFJ is probably one of the most likely I would pursue a friendship with.
    Glad to hear it! ENFJs are easily one of my favorite types as well.

  4. #54
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    Glad to hear it! ENFJs are easily one of my favorite types as well.
    Damn straight
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  5. #55
    Junior Member PhoenixRising's Avatar
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    Good ENFJ's are the most amazing people on the face of the earth. My pastor is one. He works 16 hour days (at least) dealing with people and their drama and whiny self pitying garbage. And a lot of those people are blaming him (not that any of it is his fault). He is expected to solve all the world's problems besides working about three jobs and four or five home businesses. Literally. Sometimes he gets impatient, mostly when people ignore his advice or throw away his offered help and end up hurt. And yet...he exudes a massive love for everyone he comes in contact with. He seems to see directly into your soul through your eyes, no matter who you are- guy, girl, old, young, mild mannered recluse, nasty person who is meeting every friendly word with vicious sarcasm- you can't hide and not only does he see who you are, he cares. Deeply. Actively. You will become part of his schedule and if you happened to call him at 4 a.m... he would listen until you were done talking... even if that meant he got no sleep that night. He is self-sacrificing in the extreme. It shocked me the first time he got me to tell him what someone had done to me and when I did...he started crying. Being an INTJ, it freaked me out a little. How could anyone sympathise so intensely with someone they barely knew? Well , that was my introduction to the good ENFJ.
    And then there's my best friend. Same psychological assault as if walls were made to be scaled and detached people are the most desperately in need of irrational love.
    Maybe they are. Who knows.
    All I do know is that she has put her life on hold to rush to somebody's rescue so many times that I practically have to tie her down to make her take time to introspect... without it, she burns out, ends up irritable, distant, irresponsible and impulsive... but a forced rest will make her her incredible, loving, brilliant, loyal self again. She loves to help people. Even really awful people. She loves taking a broken soul and helping find solutions... getting people out of their funk, out of their shell, out of their bad situations, out of their addictions...out into the pure sunlight radiated by the good ENFJ.
    Of course, she and I clash. Classic semi-dual unavoidable conflicts. Sometimes we don't even seem to speak the same language. But I would be burned at the stake for her.

    And then there's my other friend....counselor, teacher, public speaker extraordinaire....
    And my other friend, mentor, leader, willing to go the second mile to give the underdog a fighting chance. And then teach it how to fight for the chance. And then go the third mile.
    And my other friend from way back... mother, friend, wife, somehow knowing to give a hug at the exact second one is needed.
    Yeah, I pretty much love ENFJs.
    "To the man who loves art for its own sake, it is frequently in its least important and lowliest manifestations that the keenest pleasure is to be derived. " - Sherlock Holmes

  6. #56
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    Thank you for saying this PheonixRising. I have read some opinions about ENFJ's on INTJ forums and lets just say the consensus is that we are awful. Thank you for seeing the positive in us.

  7. #57
    Senior Member redcheerio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I've only known 2 or 3 ENFJs in the past and they were so incredibly bossy and forceful that I had a horrible urge to run them down with my car! I knew for sure that not all ENFJs could be like that and wanted to know exactly what to look for if I wanted to meet a nice ENFJ!

    And who would admit to being a complete jerk? Me
    You're ESTP, right? I wonder if your incompatibility with unhealthy ENFJs is similar to my ENTP incompatibility with unhealthy ESFJs?

    Cuz I was shocked to read that anyone thought badly of ENFJs. All the ENFJs I've known IRL have been among the most wonderful, generous, thoughtful, selfless people I've ever met in my life. My best friend in high school, my best friend in uni, and my best friend at the last big company I worked for were all ENFJ.

    By contrast, I've had some really horrible experiences with 3 different ESFJs in the workplace, especially 2 in my last 2 workplaces. I somehow accidentally pissed them off, and from that point on, they decided it was their mission to be as horrible to me as possible, and to do everything insidious they could to get me fired. (Thankfully, their efforts usually fail, but succeed to make my life very stressful.) It was to the point that I was starting to wonder if a disproportionate number of sociopaths were ESFJs gone wrong. But an ENTP gone wrong could also be sociopathic, so I can't really point the type-finger there. And healthy ESFJs tend to be really sweet, generous, and fun.

    So I don't think it has anything to do with the ESFJ personality type itself, I think it has something to do with incompatibility with me, and misunderstandings between us.

    Maybe it is similar for you with ENFJs?

    (I haven't read the whole thread, sorry if someone already suggested this.)

  8. #58
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    a good friend of mine is an enfj, and she's one of the nicest people i've ever met. she's friendly and kind to everyone, has no enemies i can think of, is the perfect hostess. that being said, when she found out her ex-boyfriend cheated on her, she attacked him, ripped his hair out, and threw all his belongings out. which was so out of character because she's such a sweet, peaceful person. and he tried to get back together with her after all that lol.

  9. #59
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chana View Post
    a good friend of mine is an enfj, and she's one of the nicest people i've ever met. she's friendly and kind to everyone, has no enemies i can think of, is the perfect hostess. that being said, when she found out her ex-boyfriend cheated on her, she attacked him, ripped his hair out, and threw all his belongings out. which was so out of character because she's such a sweet, peaceful person. and he tried to get back together with her after all that lol.
    We are evil incarnate if someone ruffles our otherwise sweet feathers, as you noted! We definitely have our claws, but it takes a bit to get us to rip off some faces.

    This also makes me interested in what ENFJs have mauled their men (emotionally and physically), then had the men come back for more. I've tended to do a lot of harsh emotional mauling in retaliation for my buttons being pushed to their absolute extent, and definitely have had the men come crawling back. It always baffles the crap out of me.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  10. #60
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Cheat and you're dead to me. Forever.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

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