[ENFJ] What are nice ENFJs like?

[Malkavia]

Wonderful ENFJs certainly do exist.

I feel like this implies it is surprising to find good ENFJs.

 

[Hate]

I feel like this implies it is surprising to find good ENFJs.

I think you need to get your feelings checked... because that's not what that sentence is implying at all...

 

[Malkavia]

I think you need to get your feelings checked... because that's not what that sentence is implying at all...

Which is why I said so you can clarify.

 

[KiwiBurst]

My spanish teacher was an ENFJ 2w1. I loved her sooo much. She inspired me and now I kind of want to become a teacher. She was friendly, disciplined, and treated everyone fairly.

 

[Hate]

Which is why I said so you can clarify.

It’s actually the opposite of what you perceived it as… She was making a positive confirmation to the middle part of the OP… Read the middle part of the OP… then read what Fidelia wrote and it should make more sense.

 

[alcea rosea]

The OP strange to read for me that because I think I've met mostly really really nice and adorable ENFJ's.

Whatever - Maybe it's more problem with ESTP - ENFJ connection or lack of connection that you are experiencing? Or just bad luck with ENFJ's you met...

 

[Hate]

The OP strange to read for me that because I think I've met mostly really really nice and adorable ENFJ's.

Whatever - Maybe it's more problem with ESTP - ENFJ connection or lack of connection that you are experiencing? Or just bad luck with ENFJ's you met...

I talked to Whatever about this and she said she doesn't feel that way at all anymore... The OP is almost 3 years old... I'm ENFJ and Whatever is one of the people I get along best with in here.

 

[Sparrow]

chill pill anyone?

 

[tinker683]

In my opinion, when nice, ENFJ's are the most fabulous type out there. They are inspirational, delightful, smart, authentic, genuinely interested in helping people towards happiness and self-actualization and total idealist romantics

i love them

+1

My ex was an ENFJ and she was all of my warmth and tenderness put into a human being. I loved her dearly.

 

[tcda]

I nice ENFJ is like

To be fair though even a not nice ENFJ seems like to an intp so I'm not good at telling the difference, which can be a problem.

But luckily most ENFJ's I met are genuinely nice.

 

[alcea rosea]

I talked to Whatever about this and she said she doesn't feel that way at all anymore... The OP is almost 3 years old... I'm ENFJ and Whatever is one of the people I get along best with in here.

I didn't notice that the OP was THAT old.
But, I don't notice minor details ever.

I was also talking about my own experience.

 

[Fidelia]

I feel like this implies it is surprising to find good ENFJs.

No way! I was reassuring the OP (whatever) who at the time was disillusioned because of her ex that ENFJs are the gear and she she shouldn't write them off. Of all the types, ENFJ is probably one of the most likely I would pursue a friendship with.

 

[Malkavia]

No way! I was reassuring the OP (whatever) who at the time was disillusioned because of her ex that ENFJs are the gear and she she shouldn't write them off. Of all the types, ENFJ is probably one of the most likely I would pursue a friendship with.

Glad to hear it! ENFJs are easily one of my favorite types as well.

 

[Unkindloving]

Glad to hear it! ENFJs are easily one of my favorite types as well.

Damn straight

 

[PhoenixRising]

Good ENFJ's are the most amazing people on the face of the earth. My pastor is one. He works 16 hour days (at least) dealing with people and their drama and whiny self pitying garbage. And a lot of those people are blaming him (not that any of it is his fault). He is expected to solve all the world's problems besides working about three jobs and four or five home businesses. Literally. Sometimes he gets impatient, mostly when people ignore his advice or throw away his offered help and end up hurt. And yet...he exudes a massive love for everyone he comes in contact with. He seems to see directly into your soul through your eyes, no matter who you are- guy, girl, old, young, mild mannered recluse, nasty person who is meeting every friendly word with vicious sarcasm- you can't hide and not only does he see who you are, he cares. Deeply. Actively. You will become part of his schedule and if you happened to call him at 4 a.m... he would listen until you were done talking... even if that meant he got no sleep that night. He is self-sacrificing in the extreme. It shocked me the first time he got me to tell him what someone had done to me and when I did...he started crying. Being an INTJ, it freaked me out a little. How could anyone sympathise so intensely with someone they barely knew? Well , that was my introduction to the good ENFJ.
And then there's my best friend. Same psychological assault as if walls were made to be scaled and detached people are the most desperately in need of irrational love.
Maybe they are. Who knows.
All I do know is that she has put her life on hold to rush to somebody's rescue so many times that I practically have to tie her down to make her take time to introspect... without it, she burns out, ends up irritable, distant, irresponsible and impulsive... but a forced rest will make her her incredible, loving, brilliant, loyal self again. She loves to help people. Even really awful people. She loves taking a broken soul and helping find solutions... getting people out of their funk, out of their shell, out of their bad situations, out of their addictions...out into the pure sunlight radiated by the good ENFJ.
Of course, she and I clash. Classic semi-dual unavoidable conflicts. Sometimes we don't even seem to speak the same language. But I would be burned at the stake for her.

And then there's my other friend....counselor, teacher, public speaker extraordinaire....
And my other friend, mentor, leader, willing to go the second mile to give the underdog a fighting chance. And then teach it how to fight for the chance. And then go the third mile.
And my other friend from way back... mother, friend, wife, somehow knowing to give a hug at the exact second one is needed.
Yeah, I pretty much love ENFJs.

 

[Triplespresso]

Thank you for saying this PheonixRising. I have read some opinions about ENFJ's on INTJ forums and lets just say the consensus is that we are awful. Thank you for seeing the positive in us.

 

[redcheerio]

I've only known 2 or 3 ENFJs in the past and they were so incredibly bossy and forceful that I had a horrible urge to run them down with my car! I knew for sure that not all ENFJs could be like that and wanted to know exactly what to look for if I wanted to meet a nice ENFJ!

And who would admit to being a complete jerk? Me

You're ESTP, right? I wonder if your incompatibility with unhealthy ENFJs is similar to my ENTP incompatibility with unhealthy ESFJs?

Cuz I was shocked to read that anyone thought badly of ENFJs. All the ENFJs I've known IRL have been among the most wonderful, generous, thoughtful, selfless people I've ever met in my life. My best friend in high school, my best friend in uni, and my best friend at the last big company I worked for were all ENFJ.

By contrast, I've had some really horrible experiences with 3 different ESFJs in the workplace, especially 2 in my last 2 workplaces. I somehow accidentally pissed them off, and from that point on, they decided it was their mission to be as horrible to me as possible, and to do everything insidious they could to get me fired. (Thankfully, their efforts usually fail, but succeed to make my life very stressful.) It was to the point that I was starting to wonder if a disproportionate number of sociopaths were ESFJs gone wrong. But an ENTP gone wrong could also be sociopathic, so I can't really point the type-finger there. And healthy ESFJs tend to be really sweet, generous, and fun.

So I don't think it has anything to do with the ESFJ personality type itself, I think it has something to do with incompatibility with me, and misunderstandings between us.

Maybe it is similar for you with ENFJs?

(I haven't read the whole thread, sorry if someone already suggested this.)

 

[chickpea]

a good friend of mine is an enfj, and she's one of the nicest people i've ever met. she's friendly and kind to everyone, has no enemies i can think of, is the perfect hostess. that being said, when she found out her ex-boyfriend cheated on her, she attacked him, ripped his hair out, and threw all his belongings out. which was so out of character because she's such a sweet, peaceful person. and he tried to get back together with her after all that lol.

 

[Unkindloving]

a good friend of mine is an enfj, and she's one of the nicest people i've ever met. she's friendly and kind to everyone, has no enemies i can think of, is the perfect hostess. that being said, when she found out her ex-boyfriend cheated on her, she attacked him, ripped his hair out, and threw all his belongings out. which was so out of character because she's such a sweet, peaceful person. and he tried to get back together with her after all that lol.

We are evil incarnate if someone ruffles our otherwise sweet feathers, as you noted! We definitely have our claws, but it takes a bit to get us to rip off some faces.

This also makes me interested in what ENFJs have mauled their men (emotionally and physically), then had the men come back for more. I've tended to do a lot of harsh emotional mauling in retaliation for my buttons being pushed to their absolute extent, and definitely have had the men come crawling back. It always baffles the crap out of me.

 

[Domino]

Cheat and you're dead to me. Forever.