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  1. #11
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post


    What about L4BNU?
    (And some others here?)

    The loveliest ENFJ I knew in real life was a wonderful mom and did homeschooling. She dressed like a gypsy and was always in a positive mood. (I think she flipped from laughing to occasional anger, when justified, but she was never a downer.) She liked to laugh a great deal. But she was very low-key in her extroversion.

    She was never fake. That is one thing I loved about her. She saw right through the smokescreens and lies most people put up, and her faith/spirituality was never false or pollyana-ish. She was very real and authentic and honest about how crummy it all can be sometimes. No pretenses.

    She was a true actualizer of people, able to see the potential in someone and coax it out and make it blossom. She saw the potential in me, I know that much, and took me under her wing for the time we knew each other. I will never forget her.

    (Ironically, she was also the one who first really introduced me to MBTI.)
    Thanks Jennifer

    I absolutely think there are good ENFJ's out there. I don't often identify with the mostly awful things people write about ENFJ (but then again why would I want to) So many times I want to respond with "that's not me" then I think you know LLNF you know you do this or that (on the negative side even if it's not as extreme) and perhaps someone experienced only this part of the ENFJ they know and what's the point of trying to tell them "that's not what an ENFJ is all about" I think we're alot less likely to try to save our reps than some other types..or even care to much what most people think if we know we're trying to be the best person we can be. I think an ENFJ is more likely to think...maybe they have a point and try to see where a change within themselves might be necessary...

    What say you other ENFJ's here.
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  2. #12
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    When ENFJs aren't immature ENFJs, they are like a light outside in the middle of the night: all types of bugs gravitate toward them. They can't help it; they're that attracted to the light.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  3. #13
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    They are fantastic. They only ever emotionally manipulate you for your own good, and they do it with superb discretion. I almost fell in love with an ENFJ who I found entirely unattractive (physically) just because she was such an awesome person.

  4. #14
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    They are fantastic. They only ever emotionally manipulate you for your own good, and they do it with superb discretion. I almost fell in love with an ENFJ who I found entirely unattractive (physically) just because she was such an awesome person.
    I've done the same with an INFP
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  5. #15
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Thanks! Now I don't dread meeting other ENFJs as much! I really do beleive that the one I know best is the worst one in the entire world!

  6. #16
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Good goodness!

    Are ENFJs really perceived as duplicitous manipulators?? I'm being totally serious! To even ask if any nice ENFJs exist is crazy to me! Why don't you go around poking ENFJs with sharp sticks to see if we react like other humans?

    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelostnf View Post
    ...I think we're alot less likely to try to save our reps than some other types..or even care to much what most people think if we know we're trying to be the best person we can be. I think an ENFJ is more likely to think...maybe they have a point and try to see where a change within themselves might be necessary...

    What say you other ENFJ's here.
    Yes, I agree. Firstly, I think to myself, this person has never met me I can't get offended by what they're saying. If someone is complaining about ENFJ behavior and I can see that I have that problem myself then I check myself, I ask people who know me, "do I do X behavior"? I can't go around apologizing for every screwed up ENFJ everyone has met in their life, nor can I let people on an internet forum (and I like most of you here) dictate who I am and wreck my self-esteem and have me so self-conscious about the way I interact with people that I'm useless. If I can see a person's trenchant in their belief about something and absolutely refuses to budge, then why should I waste my brain cells and breathe on them?

    Secondly, I don't try to live up to any ENFJ description because it's impossible. No one is that good. As far as those that know about MBTI goes I don't want people to think I'm going to be someone's savior, motivate them, help them become actualized, or say just the right thing at the right time and make everything well. That's too much pressure. I'm doing all I can do to keep me functional.

    No one is the exemplar of any type. And like LLNF said, who would admit to being a complete jerk? Simple statistics and life experiences tell me that 1 out of 10 people (am I being generous?) isn't right upstairs or plays some kind of game. Why would ENFJs be exempt from this? Why would people expect ENFJs to be exempt?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  7. #17
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I've only known 2 or 3 ENFJs in the past and they were so incredibly bossy and forceful that I had a horrible urge to run them down with my car! I knew for sure that not all ENFJs could be like that and wanted to know exactly what to look for if I wanted to meet a nice ENFJ!

    And who would admit to being a complete jerk? Me

  8. #18
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I've only known 2 or 3 ENFJs in the past and they were so incredibly bossy and forceful that I had a horrible urge to run them down with my car! I knew for sure that not all ENFJs could be like that and wanted to know exactly what to look for if I wanted to meet a nice ENFJ!

    And who would admit to being a complete jerk? Me
    But you apologized so nicely to INTJmom for cursing. You can't be that much of a jerk.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  9. #19
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I'm actually nicer when highly stressed out than usual!

  10. #20
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I'm actually nicer when highly stressed out than usual!
    Those ENFJs probably needed insulin daily.

    No all, ENFJs aren't bad although I'm working hard on increasing my sinister quotient.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

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