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  1. #1
    Senior Member Cypocalypse's Avatar
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    Default Overpowering the ENFJ charm.

    I'm trying to do the heaviest undertaking an NP has to go through--break the ENFJ charm aura.

    This is something I've pondered lately. Well, NPs have too much free time in their hands anyway. I was thinking as to why ENFJs always get to pwn me. Or anyone for that matter.

    Basic ENFJ charm seems to work something like this.

    1. She listens to you. Then UNDERSTANDS you.

    E.g.,
    Me: "Sorry if I have to bring you to this. Even if I'm in my late 20s, I'm still into comic books. And toys."
    Her: "Haha! I read Batman"
    Me: "Huh?"
    Her: "DK. Frank Miller. I love it."
    Me: "Really?"
    Her: "I read comics. You know that Galactus Build-A-Figure thingie? I gave one to my ex as a gift. Haha!"



    If that conversation will not pwn you...

    2. She flirts with you.

    E.g.,
    Me: "Well, haha! You can't always use your charm, right? It's not like you can get away with everything using it. And...errr....it's kinda unfair. Maybe your guy has a point too, and...."
    Her: "Well, it's not as if you would choose to hang out with him over me. Haha! is there a dilemma there to begin with? You always.....know.....which side to choose. *winks*
    Me: "Errrrr.....yeah, I guess"

    3. She wants you to tell the details of your sentiments.

    E.g.
    Me: "It's basically you asking the details about my sentiments that you already know."
    Her: "I don't know." *winks*
    Me: "You always know the details of what I want to say, even if I say them half encrypted."
    Her: "What do you want to say?" *winks*


    See, she already pwned me when she said she reads Batman. But still, she wants more pwnage by making me state my sentiments in detail. Which is sorta double whammy pwnage. And then, she hardly says anything about herself.

    4. If you don't state your sentiments in detail and you decide to go on the offensive with your Ne sarcasm, she'll make you jealous.

    E.g.,
    Her: "You can't do that to me right now."
    Me: "And why's that?"
    Her: "Because Daniel (another member of the ENFJ fan club) has been sending me good text messages lately, and his is better than yours."
    Me: "He's just more gullible."
    Her: "So you still wanna be sarcastic?"
    Me: "Do guys always have to be that Antonio Banderas cat in Shrek with that cutey eyes and all to you, Puss N Boots style?"
    Her: "Haha! Always. Much better that way." *winks*



    You end up either getting so frustrated (which you shouldn't be, because it make you such a loser), or you end up trying to compete with an imaginary 'Daniel'. You don't know if such a person actually exists, but knowing the fan club, he probably does.

    _____________________

    After that Ne versus her Fe slugfest, in which probably Ne will lose, you may actually be tempted to go to step 3 and actually tell her your sentiments.

    I don't know. ENFJs want to make an Edward Cullen smooth talker out of every guy. Well, most of them seem to like Edward Cullen anyway. They just seem to hate him when they got to like Harry Potter first. And let's not even go to whom they like in the Tolkien world.

    ___________________

    How does a guy get to have a workaround on this?

  2. #2
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cypocalypse View Post

    How does a guy get to have a workaround on this?
    You don't. Not really. My ENFJ gets away with more of this stuff than I'd ever let anyone else get away with. They know. They always know what you're thinking and feeling then they exploit it. In a good way for the most part.

    He: What are you watching?

    Me: This thing about great white sharks. They are tagging them and taking blood. It's a pretty brilliant set up they have here. They get under the shark with a cradle that raises them up to the ship level, they have 20 minutes to do everything. They have a shark lojack to put on the fin somewhere.

    <next scene the tracking device is being installed using a drill, heavy bolts and it's ratcheted down. I know I'm physically cringing even when the scientists say it isn't hurting them>

    He: <pats my hand>

    Me: What?

    He: I know what you're thinking. It's ok.

    Me: Oh?

    He: You have a excellent understanding of why they are doing this. The species is endangered and we know very little about them. Taking blood, tracking where they go, getting as much info as possible will be a huge help. BUT...you can't stand to see a human hurting an animal. Animals are more helpless to you than humans. Even though you know this is one of the fiercest predators of them all and are far from being helpless. You KNOW that shark would win every time head to head with a human.

    Me: :steam: Yes but you don't have to go advertising this. Poor beastie.

    He: I won't. It's very sweet how you love the animals. I won't tell anyone.

    So you really don't have a chance. It's futile to fight it.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  3. #3
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    Interesting. I clash with ENFJs more often than not, male and female ones. I don't find them unusually charming or anything. Oh well.

  4. #4
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    CeeCee, I have more...

    Husband: You were watching National Geographic channel.
    You: Yes... I ...
    H: You're so smart and informed. You can watch all the tough stuff because you can see the greater good of it. What a caring heart you have.
    You: STOP THAT!
    H: Cookies?

    I watched a preview for that show - the tv station had made it seem like a bunch of fishermen were reeling in this giant shark, and I started angrily barking, "Leave him alone!! He only eats people because we've taken all his food and he's hungry!!"

    My ENFP sister patted my leg and said, "Look - they're running water in his mouth and over his body. They're keeping him alive. Most likely scientists." And that's what it was.

    *sheepish*

    As to the disabling charm of ENFJs... I will have you know that every ENTP I've ever known, especially the ones I've dated have been able to do the exact same thing to me. Perhaps I don't show it. Perhaps I'm more able to cover it up with ready humor. But once an ENTP has worked their way into my inner sanctum, you have no idea how vulnerable I am to being annihilated.

    My ENTP and I spent a lot of time wittily trading paint and verbally dueling because 1. we enjoyed it, and 2. we were expected to be "on" by the people around us (I can't explain that without going into huge detail so I'll skip it). But those moments when we weren't performing, which a good chunk of time, I admired him SO MUCH that I couldn't bring myself to say ANYTHING to him unless it was silly and provoking. Childish, I know. He was the same way. We spent a lot of time staring at each other in silence. There were certain moods that would take him, like he didn't care who was around and watching, and I thought he might grab me and do something X-rated right there in the middle of everyone. He could lean into my space and shut me up with his closeness. I'd blush to my hairline and get so breathless I'd have absolutely nothing to say.

    Whatever the ENFJ is doing to you, whatever upper hand you think they have, they don't.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  5. #5
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Aww I simply wub puss in boots, he is so damn adorable.


    As for the OP, I can completely relate to your point 1. I do it all the time with nerdy IT guys, because I have quite alot of technical background and have developed a knowledge of Star Trek and sci-fi. I'm not the least bit interested in dating them, but rather enjoying an intelligent conversation. They don't get the hint and continually ask for my number through friends... BUT I'm not trying to conquer or charm them in any way, I'm simply enjoying getting to know another perspective on life.
    3w2


    Those who are content being normal lack the depth and passion to rise above mediocracy.
    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  6. #6
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cypocalypse View Post
    I'm trying to do the heaviest undertaking an NP has to go through--break the ENFJ charm aura.

    This is something I've pondered lately. Well, NPs have too much free time in their hands anyway. I was thinking as to why ENFJs always get to pwn me. Or anyone for that matter.

    Basic ENFJ charm seems to work something like this.

    1. She listens to you. Then UNDERSTANDS you.

    E.g.,
    Me: "Sorry if I have to bring you to this. Even if I'm in my late 20s, I'm still into comic books. And toys."
    Her: "Haha! I read Batman"
    Me: "Huh?"
    Her: "DK. Frank Miller. I love it."
    Me: "Really?"
    Her: "I read comics. You know that Galactus Build-A-Figure thingie? I gave one to my ex as a gift. Haha!"



    If that conversation will not pwn you...

    2. She flirts with you.

    E.g.,
    Me: "Well, haha! You can't always use your charm, right? It's not like you can get away with everything using it. And...errr....it's kinda unfair. Maybe your guy has a point too, and...."
    Her: "Well, it's not as if you would choose to hang out with him over me. Haha! is there a dilemma there to begin with? You always.....know.....which side to choose. *winks*
    Me: "Errrrr.....yeah, I guess"

    3. She wants you to tell the details of your sentiments.

    E.g.
    Me: "It's basically you asking the details about my sentiments that you already know."
    Her: "I don't know." *winks*
    Me: "You always know the details of what I want to say, even if I say them half encrypted."
    Her: "What do you want to say?" *winks*


    See, she already pwned me when she said she reads Batman. But still, she wants more pwnage by making me state my sentiments in detail. Which is sorta double whammy pwnage. And then, she hardly says anything about herself.

    4. If you don't state your sentiments in detail and you decide to go on the offensive with your Ne sarcasm, she'll make you jealous.

    E.g.,
    Her: "You can't do that to me right now."
    Me: "And why's that?"
    Her: "Because Daniel (another member of the ENFJ fan club) has been sending me good text messages lately, and his is better than yours."
    Me: "He's just more gullible."
    Her: "So you still wanna be sarcastic?"
    Me: "Do guys always have to be that Antonio Banderas cat in Shrek with that cutey eyes and all to you, Puss N Boots style?"
    Her: "Haha! Always. Much better that way." *winks*



    You end up either getting so frustrated (which you shouldn't be, because it make you such a loser), or you end up trying to compete with an imaginary 'Daniel'. You don't know if such a person actually exists, but knowing the fan club, he probably does.

    _____________________

    After that Ne versus her Fe slugfest, in which probably Ne will lose, you may actually be tempted to go to step 3 and actually tell her your sentiments.

    I don't know. ENFJs want to make an Edward Cullen smooth talker out of every guy. Well, most of them seem to like Edward Cullen anyway. They just seem to hate him when they got to like Harry Potter first. And let's not even go to whom they like in the Tolkien world.

    ___________________

    How does a guy get to have a workaround on this?


    hahahahahaha Dude! I am dating an ENFJ too and its the SAME thing!

    She just made a shitload of Ornaments for my Xmas tree, all 8 bit NES characters with a Mario Bros Star for the top! I was like MARRY ME!
    Ground control to Major Tom

  7. #7
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    IT geek + intellectual nerd + sci-fi + gamer =

    Or any of the above including engineering or electronics geek. Yeah... an adorable and attractive expression of individuality and intelligence!


    Then if they're a normal socially adept and attractive person like myself, it's a double whammy! I drool. Those are extremely rare.
    3w2


    Those who are content being normal lack the depth and passion to rise above mediocracy.
    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Ethereal's Avatar
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    The ENFJ doesn't necessarily know what you are thinking, or at least not the INTP mind. They may think they do, and they suggest they do, and the way they suggest it makes you think they do. Grill them with hard logic, it's not their specialty, and as I have found with the case of my mother, they don't know.

    Then again, I am told that I am exactly like my long-deceased father, who by all accounts was an INTP, who my mother married. So maybe there is something to it...

  9. #9
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ethereal View Post
    The ENFJ doesn't necessarily know what you are thinking, or at least not the INTP mind. They may think they do, and they suggest they do, and the way they suggest it makes you think they do.
    I find that true of Fi also. I think introverted judging is harder for them to unravel, and that mystery probably is what makes INxPs enticing to some ENFJs. So to the OP....the trick is to keep 'em on their toes. Just when they think they've got you all figured out, throw them a curve ball and let them know they haven't.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  10. #10
    Senior Member Ethereal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I find that true of Fi also. I think introverted judging is harder for them to unravel, and that mystery probably is what makes INxPs enticing to some ENFJs. So to the OP....the trick is to keep 'em on their toes. Just when they think they've got you all figured out, throw them a curve ball and let them know they haven't.
    Which is the problem with ENFJ parents, according to the only in depth ENFJ parenting thing on the web, ENFJ Relationships, children grow, and if that child is an introvert, then the changes happen within and are not visible to the parent. When these changes emerge, they are already deeply-set, and to the extroverted judger parent, would appear to come out of nowhere. This would leave the parent dazed and confused. The intentions may be good, but they are still stifling.

    It's a catch 22, as long as you believe that they know what you are thinking, then they will. My experience is as an INTP, so maybe this applies mainly to the INTX types. If you are a feeler or an XSTX, then things may be different...

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