[ENFJ] Overpowering the ENFJ charm.

[copperfish17]

I am very guilty of that...im sure it annoys the hell out of some people. Just realized that the other day. I was trying to get some one to try something...and my friend was like, leave him alone he doesnt like it! I guess my thinking is that they might like it if they gave something new a try.

Just about everyone who has been personally involved with an ENFJ (be that friendship, a romantic relationship etc.) knows the ENFJ means well when he/she does this.



The ENFJ in my life gets away with more Fe-nudging (the word "manipulation" has that negative undertone, so I think I'll go with "nudging") than I'd let any other person get away with.

 

[Domino]

I also smell like hot dogs.

 

[INTPness]

Just about everyone who has been personally involved with an ENFJ (be that friendship, a romantic relationship etc.) knows the ENFJ means well when he/she does this.



The ENFJ in my life gets away with more Fe-nudging (the word "manipulation" has that negative undertone, so I think I'll go with "nudging") than I'd let any other person get away with.

Yes, I agree with this. As long as they can accept when I do decide to say "no" to their nudging, then we get along fantastically.

And you're right, manipulation has a negative connotation. There is manipulation, there is nudging, and there is forceful nudging. I've seen all 3 and the only one I'm OK with is nudging.

 

[tcda]

Judging by this thread I'd say it's confirmed, us intp's are obsessed with ENFJ's!

 

[garbage]

Take everything they say insanely literally, as if there's no underlying suggestive subtext or implication in anything that they say.

That'll drive them bonkers


follow it up with a "Oh, reeeeally? That's what you meant? Ohhhh.."

 

[Malkavia]

Take everything they say insanely literally, as if there's no underlying suggestive subtext or implication in anything that they say.

That'll drive them bonkers


follow it up with a "Oh, reeeeally? That's what you meant? Ohhhh.."

YES. When I get mad at my friend I do this. He normally just leaves.

 

[Sparrow]

I don't think there's any conscious, manipulative aspect to it.




It's the effort to connect that does it. You make people feel good (ie. by showing personal interest), they open up, you understand them more, they feel understood & feel even better, etc. It all starts by bringing out an emotional reaction in them. ENFJs have an uncanny, natural ability to do this. I think it doesn't feel like you are trying to make people feel anything because you probably aren't trying - you are just being you.

Your so right, ENFJ's dont like to see people sad or lonely...we try and bring out the best in people, even stangers sometimes. Everyone is special in their own way ! We like to connect with other people.

 

[Sparrow]

Take everything they say insanely literally, as if there's no underlying suggestive subtext or implication in anything that they say.

That'll drive them bonkers


follow it up with a "Oh, reeeeally? That's what you meant? Ohhhh.."

Haha! It does drive us bonkers!

"how dare you not trust me or undermine my integrity!" Lol

 

[10forME]

Okay, I'm ready now.
Forewarning: seething bipolar person about to speak.

ENFJs drive me up the WALL because they're little bitchy drama queens. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I could just punch you in the heart ENFJs.
You guys try to SEEM all "strong" for the other person. Queefs!
You are MUCH too exceeding, and if people don't give you EXACTLY what you want, you freak out and go psychotic. Your standards are WAY too high, and you refuse to look at yourselves while your criticizing everyone else. Like your effing perfect.
You're such ASSHOLES to everyone else and you're freaking cowards because you're the only people that can't let themselves open up and be hurt like NORMAL people.
No no no. If you get hurt, it's not the same as anyone else, it's 134523564623544times WORSE because it was YOU. And you think you have everyone under your charm because you're good with words and you can make people believe you.
But I can see through all your bullshit.
And you're A S S H O L E S ! ! ! !


Ironically enough, I've never been in a relationship with and ENFJ.
Hm... WONDER WHY.

Ok, my litte hater, I’m ready, too. Let's see....
Ahhhhhhhh I can see you’re frustrated. And do you know why? Because I can feel you
1). Yes, I try to seem strong for the other person, if I know it will make him feel better. It is a 'minus' for you this trait?? or what?
2). You're right, I'm exceedind, and of curse I want exactly what…I want. And, no. I don’t go psychotic if I don’t get it, but yes, it drives me mad sometimes.
3). YES! My standards might be high, and that because I’m special(that’s my point of view, and honestly I don’t even care what you think, so you can as well keep it to yourself). I try to develop myself, and of curse I want in my life a person at the same level, with who "I can click", doesn’t it make sense? And actually I am the least person who would criticize someone, just because we, ENFJ, know that people are diferent and everyone has a purpose for doing whatever they’re doing.
4). UUUh, an affirmation done without you knowing me? Good start… Dear 'friend', yes I won’t let anybody know the true me because there are LOT OF people who think that their job is to criticize people(like you do, now) and make them feel like s**t. Sorry, bro, you have no power here. And yes, we do suffer a lot if we get hurt. If you let me say, WAY more than other people because we are, usually, sensitive and easily disappointed.
5). No, I don’t think I’m good with words, but sometimes I realize I am, when other people tell me that I am. ...and I remain surprised because at beginning I didn’t know I possessed this “power”.
6). I am amazed you see through bullshit. Maybe because you’re used to bullshit, who knows...
Aaaand finally 7)… I must tell you that I’m really sorry for you because you did not had the chance to know a good ENFJ. I know, now, why are you bitter, angry and frustrated. My advice? Chill out and try to be a better person. Cheers!
PS: sorry for my bad english, I'm not a native speaker. I hope you don't criticize me for this, too. Please have mercy!!

 

[Abbey]

ENFJ's are SO chamring, it's horrible! Just think they treat everyone like that. That's what I did and it worked.. eventually..