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  1. #31
    Member Gothmawg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpankyMcFly View Post
    I am not sure how cognitive functions form as pertains to MBTI. That said, I know that emotional validation and a nurturing environment are important to a child's development overall in many areas. I learned this from researching parenting skills and techniques so as to be a better father to my two daughters.

    In my case my mother was very distant and I had different father figures (several remarriages) who were all unhealthy individuals. My mother had never told me "I love you", never hugged me nor praised me. Coupled with absent or abusive paternal models I had to raise myself and my younger siblings.

    My very earliest memories (age 3'ish) are of feeling alone, defective, guilty and unworthy. I grew up being very self critical, reflective, emotionally sensitive to criticism and I lived in my inner world to escape my dysfunctional environment. I would fantasize a lot about a better world, a better future for myself and "what if" type thinking dominated. Who am I? What did I do to deserve this? Do I deserve this? Why does it even bother me? I romanticized and idealized quite frequently. One of those ideals was that upon becoming an adult and marrying and then becoming a father I would break the cycle. Another ideal I held when I was younger, was to wait to have sex until I found "the one". I was also hopelessly romantic in my late teenage years and early 20's. I attribute both of these to my need to not be like my parents.

    I was the "counselor" of my family, always trying to patch up my siblings and myself as well as my mother and her own issues. Fast forward to age 27 and after much conflict I decided to completely severe communications with my entire family for my own mental health. One of the best decisions I've ever made from a personal growth standpoint. That was 11 years ago and while I reflect upon that decision from time to time I feel no need to ever reestablish contact. I've made peace with them in my mind.

    What came first? Being an INFP and being sensitive and reflective of these conditions/environment coupled with a willingness to share the experiences or was I formed by them? If I was formed by them, to what degree? Clearly there are other male INFP's who did not have "issues", which begs the original question. Is there a postive correlation between male INFP's and a dysfunctional childhood, specifically "mother" issues? What exactly is the role and degree to which environment has upon cognition formation? I'm confident that there is scientific research on the matter and look forward to following this thread while I use the internetz for my own research.
    Great post...and eerily similar to mine...*peer
    I find your lack of feeling disturbing...

  2. #32
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    However, I just wanted to note that Fecal's post is for those INFPs that never had the approval of their parents. Never feeling truly accepted as a child is pretty devastating, and can leave a pretty big gap in the psyche.
    Of course, but I don't think that need is exclusive to INFPs. I can see how INFPs may desire closer relationships in general, with their parents and other people. It seems we desire something a little deeper than what others may be satisfied with.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  3. #33
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Well, if it counts, I'm near borderline I with E...and if it counts, I was raised without a mother.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  4. #34
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    To imply that children become INFPs through over-mothering is fallacious.

    I would be more inclined to say that INFPs can have anti-authoritarian and self-preservation tendencies. Thus, they may tend to exaggerate about their childhood oppression.

  5. #35
    Member Waffle's Avatar
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    I knew an INFP who was attached to me and his mother only. We both coddled him and told he was going to be alright. We seemed to be the only one show did so. I feel INFPs are really gentle and emotional, so they need people to mothers to them, therefore are more likely to be hugely influenced by their mothers. Though, he hasn't been able to keep his life under much control since his mom stopped interfering for the most part.

  6. #36
    Charting a course
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    I was raised by wild opossums. I have fond memories of snuggling in momma's pouch with all my adopted brothers and sisters....

    Then that nasty squirrel three trees down, dropped a walnut on her head, braining her. I am scarred for life...

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    I was raised by wild opossums. I have fond memories of snuggling in momma's pouch with all my adopted brothers and sisters....

    Then that nasty squirrel three trees down, dropped a walnut on her head, braining her. I am scarred for life...
    That's really horrible. Why did you have to tell us that?

    All doz poor widdle baby opossums...

  8. #38
    Level 8 Propaganda Bot SpankyMcFly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    I was raised by wild opossums. I have fond memories of snuggling in momma's pouch with all my adopted brothers and sisters....

    Then that nasty squirrel three trees down, dropped a walnut on her head, braining her. I am scarred for life...
    I detect self deprecating humor . Good stuff, it's my favorite flavor as well.
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... Some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age. " - H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #39
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    I wish I had more mother issues hahah, its them there nasty fathers with messed up brains that you got to worry about, they be much worse.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Cypocalypse's Avatar
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    Any NP type is anti-authority, though in my opinion, INFPs are the most likely to take this seriously, to the point where they seemingly become infatuated with their own misery.

    I have INFP tendencies myself so I know how this feels.

    INFPs tend to over-exaggerate the weight of their problems. Lucky for you if you have a strong Ti, you can always put yourself into neutral mode and counteract the depression NeFi generates.

    There's always an alternative side of looking at the prism (Strong Ne peeps have good mastery of this). In people with superior Fi though, it's always stuck to whatever seems more miserable.

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