Great post...and eerily similar to mine...*peerI am not sure how cognitive functions form as pertains to MBTI. That said, I know that emotional validation and a nurturing environment are important to a child's development overall in many areas. I learned this from researching parenting skills and techniques so as to be a better father to my two daughters.
In my case my mother was very distant and I had different father figures (several remarriages) who were all unhealthy individuals. My mother had never told me "I love you", never hugged me nor praised me. Coupled with absent or abusive paternal models I had to raise myself and my younger siblings.
My very earliest memories (age 3'ish) are of feeling alone, defective, guilty and unworthy. I grew up being very self critical, reflective, emotionally sensitive to criticism and I lived in my inner world to escape my dysfunctional environment. I would fantasize a lot about a better world, a better future for myself and "what if" type thinking dominated. Who am I? What did I do to deserve this? Do I deserve this? Why does it even bother me? I romanticized and idealized quite frequently. One of those ideals was that upon becoming an adult and marrying and then becoming a father I would break the cycle. Another ideal I held when I was younger, was to wait to have sex until I found "the one". I was also hopelessly romantic in my late teenage years and early 20's. I attribute both of these to my need to not be like my parents.
I was the "counselor" of my family, always trying to patch up my siblings and myself as well as my mother and her own issues. Fast forward to age 27 and after much conflict I decided to completely severe communications with my entire family for my own mental health. One of the best decisions I've ever made from a personal growth standpoint. That was 11 years ago and while I reflect upon that decision from time to time I feel no need to ever reestablish contact. I've made peace with them in my mind.
What came first? Being an INFP and being sensitive and reflective of these conditions/environment coupled with a willingness to share the experiences or was I formed by them? If I was formed by them, to what degree? Clearly there are other male INFP's who did not have "issues", which begs the original question. Is there a postive correlation between male INFP's and a dysfunctional childhood, specifically "mother" issues? What exactly is the role and degree to which environment has upon cognition formation? I'm confident that there is scientific research on the matter and look forward to following this thread while I use the internetz for my own research.