I've posted about this guy in bits and pieces, but here's the whole shebang. Some of you might remember some posts and will be amused at my revelations about the situation. So, here it goes, for your amusement:
I had an ENFJ who befriended me and then very quickly called me his best friend. He maintained the delusion that we were in a relationship and therefore saw it fit to try to control who I talked to. He was very aggressive and yelled and fought constantly. He also manipulated several straight people into sleeping with him, and he took pretty much whatever he could from them. He did a lot of favors for me, but many of them weren't asked for or welcomed. He flat-out stated that he wanted codependency with me, and it was clear that he was trying to establish that by struggling to give me something that I might want.
I maintained that friendship primarily out of guilt and because I saw some good in him that I wanted to help foster, but eventually my sense of self-preservation and sanity kicked in.
The final straw came when he asked me for a bunch of favors in a row.. which wasn't bad in and of itself, but it was bad for what it led up to. Part of me thought that this was a way for him to test the strength of our friendship, though I had no way of knowing for sure. I had not responded to these favors, and I was out at a bar with some mutual friends of ours. He called one of these friends up, and that friend mentioned that I was out with them. He then proceeded to tell this friend to tell me that he knew where I was, then accused me of "going out partying instead of helping him." Right.
I had a month-long trip out of the country scheduled. I invited him to hang out so that we could say goodbye, and he didn't show up. I settled on a phone call, and he said that he was emotional because he was expecting a more meaningful goodbye. I mean, I tried that.
So, I got back into the states. I invited him out to a few things after that, primarily so that I could convince myself that I was doing the right thing. He never showed up; he was too lazy to get out of bed, he'd claim to want to show up and didn't, and so on. Then, he tried to contact me in very indirect ways and was flat-out insulting to me. I completely ignored his communication, which drove him further into desperation. He got more and more demanding, trying to maintain some sense of power over me. He asked if he'd "fallen from grace." The whole 'emotional manipulation' thing didn't really work.
A few months later, I got some collect phone calls from a jail. I figured that either it was a scam or it was him, and I didn't really want to deal with either one.
Someone else who is in his life--and is apparently a better friend than I am--contacted me and told me that he'd been in jail for assaulting his roommate and that any arrest was a violation of his parole. So he screwed up big time. I was glad that he was pretty much out of my life at that point, because I would have gotten pulled into that mess, too.
He still has some stuff in my closet, and I'm not sure what I should do with it. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
He is not a typical, healthy ENFJ, and he does not cloud my perception of the type.
And that's my ENFJ story.
The end.
Most of them are so god damn nice. They all need a bit of a healthy evil streak.
Aw, you always give me hope. Sounds delicious
