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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schizm View Post
    I have seen ENFJ's cut other's down because of moral principles that themselves do not live up to. For example, calling another woman a slut and then engaging in sexually permiscuous(sp) behavior.
    On a smaller scale, my ENFJ cousin does this with the phone & social activities. She will tell me off because I didn't return her call right away, but then won't return my calls for days. She'll also expect that you hang out when she's available to hang out & then make herself completely unavailable for weeks. She'll criticize her friends for going out & getting drunk and then the next night is pounding beers like a pro. It drives me up a wall.

  2. #62
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I thought I liked me! How can someone that horrid be a reflexion of my soul? (hmmm... If I sold my soul would I be getting rid of aforementioned evil ENFJ?)

    I can only hope that when society is forced to accept F males they're made to realize that T females aren't all ice queens!!!
    I believe I've proclaimed the heat in the freezer many times on this board... ^_^
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #63
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Posts about the perils and joys of being on the meat market moved here
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  4. #64
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    My ENFP twin and I were just discussing this very thing last night -- how different the ENFJ men are from the women. I'd posited the theory that they were overpowered by emotion (as I frequently feel) but are societally trained as males to dissociate from the emotion, and the only way to do that is to become a complete jerk. The tidal wave of emotion is bad enough as a female, I can only imagine how paralyzing it must be for a man in the same position. This is not of course carte blanche for them to act like brutes. I make no excuses for it. Just pondering.
    Hummm, I try to never show my emotions because to me that shows my weaknessess but it only made me make this point stronger after one day when me and an ENFp friend were watching Letters of Iwo Jima. I made a comment that I felt bad for the Japanese on how they died on that Island and she said something like (I can't remember too well) that I really don't have feelings for me to feel bad for them. Then I proceeded to tell her "that may be people don't know this about me but I am an emotional person" and she immediatly laughed her ass off and called me a pussy because I said I was emotional, which got me insanely furious. I crossed my arms and I didn't mention a word to her (I don't think she noticed I was pissed off), I just wanted to kick her out of my house and thank God she left 5 minutes afterwards because I couldn't hold it in. After that I said I wouldn't share my feelings with any one else agian.
    Last edited by The Third Rider; 11-12-2007 at 10:22 PM.
    ENFJ 3W4

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    *Actual time may vary.

  5. #65
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Third Rider View Post
    Hummm, I try to never show my emotions because to me that shows my weaknessess but it only made me make this point stronger after one day when me and an ENFp friend were watching Letters of Iwo Jima. I made a comment that I felt bad I for the Japanese on how they died on that Island and she said something like (I can't remember too well) I really don't have feelings to feel bad for them. Then I proceeded to tell her "that may be people don't know this about me but I am an emotional person" and she immediatly laughed her ass off and called me a pussy because I said I was emotional, which got me insanely furious. I crossed my arms and I didn't mention a word to her (I don't think she noticed I was pissed off), I just wanted to kick her out of my house and thank God she left 5 minutes afterwards because I couldn't hold it in. After that I said I wouldn't share my feelings with any one else agian.
    I feel bad for you ; thankfully I have people around me who will let me be F.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #66
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    I feel bad for you ; thankfully I have people around me who will let me be F.
    Thanks. My best friend is an ENTj and he doesn't really understand feelings too well and very few people earn enough of my trust to talk to them about my innerself.
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  7. #67
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Third Rider View Post
    Thanks. My best friend is an ENTj and he doesn't really understand feelings too well and very few people earn enough of my trust to talk to them about my innerself.
    I have an ISTJ who has known me for a decade and makes a pretty good effort to be understanding. More of my circle consists of an ISFP, an ESFP, my ISFP little brother, and my INFP father. I also have an ENTJ friend who has an ENFP b/f and he and I talk a lot. It's actually pretty nice; we even have hugs as common currency amung us crazies (the ISTJ and ENTJ also participate in this).
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #68
    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    I happen to love an ENFJ. But here are my complaints:

    Bossy.
    Critical.
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

  9. #69
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    I happen to love an ENFJ. But here are my complaints:

    Bossy.
    Critical.
    Well I can be bossy, but what do you mean critical?
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  10. #70
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Hating an ENFJ.... too far but being irritated enough by one to wish them to leave my company... all too easy.

    # Taking over.
    If I'm doing something then I will assign you a task when I need you. I do not require you to try to usurp my control of the project and especially object when you do this whilst employing manipulation of my emotions so that I cannot criticise nor redirect you without landing myself in the whole "bad man" situation.

    # Thinking that emotional intensity is equal to need.
    Personally I find that weighing up need is quite easy and no restating your wants ten times will not readdress the balance of your needs. Go find someone more pliable to try and fox with your emphatic statements.

    #3 Repetition.
    Restating the same thing over and over again will not improve my recollection of it and nor will it impress more the tenth time than the first. I dislike having to wade through the immense social network descriptions that you see as necessary to every tale, even less so when it is retold again and again.

    # Mighty strops make rights.
    Being pissed off is no real validation for doing whatever you like. Rationality is always expected, even if they've just crossed the line.

    # A "people person"
    Yes you may well be surrounded by thrity or so friends everyday of the week and yes they may well sing your praises but no that does not mean that I will automatically accept you as an authority on people and most certainly not an authority on myself and my own wants, needs and emotions. You may well believe that you know more about my emotional state than I do but I'm telling you your wrong.

    # Paranoia is not fact
    The number of times I've seen an ENFJ see a network of conspirators and then set themselves for a new quest based upon nothing more than that set of assumptions and paranoid conclusions is not really a rationale nor justified reaction. Oh and no it doesn't mean you can pull the "I know people" line and expect that to validate your paranoia.

    I'd have to say that ENFJs, as with ENFPs, seem to always go between 1 and 11 on scales of response without even considering anything in between.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

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