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  1. #41
    *ears perk up* wolfmaiden14's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    My ENFP twin and I were just discussing this very thing last night -- how different the ENFJ men are from the women. I'd posited the theory that they were overpowered by emotion (as I frequently feel) but are societally trained as males to dissociate from the emotion, and the only way to do that is to become a complete jerk. The tidal wave of emotion is bad enough as a female, I can only imagine how paralyzing it must be for a man in the same position. This is not of course carte blanche for them to act like brutes. I make no excuses for it. Just pondering.
    Is there anyway to help them accept that F more? Or at least make them more comfortable expressing it rather than feeling guilty?
    Forming characters! Whose? Our own or others? Both. And in that momentous fact lies the peril and responsibility of our existence. - Elihu Burritt

    Member of the Maverick's Biker Club - Now crashing through walls instead of just..walking into them.

  2. #42
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfmaiden14 View Post
    Is there anyway to help them accept that F more? Or at least make them more comfortable expressing it rather than feeling guilty?
    Change society to ACTUALLY accept F males instead of kick the crap out of them (heart and body) from the start of their interaction with other human beings.

    Edit: while you're at it you might want to have the same thing done for T females.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #43
    *ears perk up* wolfmaiden14's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Change society to ACTUALLY accept F males instead of kick the crap out of them (heart and body) from the start of their interaction with other human beings.

    Edit: while you're at it you might want to have the same thing done for T females.
    ..then I suppose the real question would be.. How do I get them to not care what society says and realize that their friends love them just the way they are!
    Forming characters! Whose? Our own or others? Both. And in that momentous fact lies the peril and responsibility of our existence. - Elihu Burritt

    Member of the Maverick's Biker Club - Now crashing through walls instead of just..walking into them.

  4. #44
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfmaiden14 View Post
    Is there anyway to help them accept that F more? Or at least make them more comfortable expressing it rather than feeling guilty?
    I give him as many outs as he needs within reason, and then I flatly tell him that he's being a jerk. He knows it. I can see it on his face. The confluence of "make this stop" and "you can't make me feel anything else" pulling at odds. I've had little success with my introverted NFJs too. The male Introverts seem to have more to protect, but when they let their guards down, they're the most real and willing to take a bullet for you.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  5. #45
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfmaiden14 View Post
    ..then I suppose the real question would be.. How do I get them to not care what society says and realize that their friends love them just the way they are!
    Paranah has a nice method, I'd say start when they're young while you're at it though.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #46
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Paranah has a nice method, I'd say start when they're young while you're at it though.
    In my experience, no one is excluded from the occasional "grabbed by the lapels" straighten-up. Not the preferred method, naturally, but it's been effective when the bull's gotten it's horns down. Early intervention when children is a must because the type already leans toward neurotic behavior. I, uh, ahem, don't speak from experience or anything. *coughs into hand* *glances away* Nice weather we're having!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  7. #47
    *ears perk up* wolfmaiden14's Avatar
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    Well, I've tried the telling them they're a jerk method before. It's just kind of pulled further at their insecurity and made them go into a self-depreciating withdrawl. I guess that just means they're not ready?
    Forming characters! Whose? Our own or others? Both. And in that momentous fact lies the peril and responsibility of our existence. - Elihu Burritt

    Member of the Maverick's Biker Club - Now crashing through walls instead of just..walking into them.

  8. #48
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    In my experience, no one is excluded from the occasional "grabbed by the lapels" straighten-up. Not the preferred method, naturally, but it's been effective when the bull's gotten it's horns down. Early intervention when children is a must because the type already leans toward neurotic behavior. I, uh, ahem, don't speak from experience or anything. *coughs into hand* *glances away* Nice weather we're having!
    No worries bud,
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #49
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfmaiden14 View Post
    Well, I've tried the telling them they're a jerk method before. It's just kind of pulled further at their insecurity and made them go into a self-depreciating withdrawl. I guess that just means they're not ready?
    Oh I hear you on that. Sometimes, it's a useless endeavour, like punching a ball of tar. You just wind up getting stuck in the mess. If they aren't ready, just walk away. There's never anything wrong with walking away if you've done all you can.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #50
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    No worries bud,
    hahaha, thanks!! *dabs away nervous perspiration* I was a little worried there.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

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