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  1. #461
    man-made neptunesnet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovely empty space View Post
    I only hate the mainpulation.

    Boyfriend loses wallet. Boyfriend freaks out. He then insists on leaving newly found wallet in my glovebox. I ask him "why can't you put it in your messenger bag?" He gives no logical reason, other than he just wants to. So, then, he tells me to lock my car. This bothers me, because the driver's door doesn't unlock manually, and my automatic locks need a new battery. Before this he would tell me, all the time, to lock my car, even if nothing of his was in there. We get upstairs, I'm still upset, and he blatantly tells me he only left his wallet down there so I would lock my car.

    UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLE.
    And you want to know what I would have done?

    Walked back down to my car, pulled his wallet out of the glovebox, handed it to him, and then unlocked all my cardoors and walked back upstairs without blinking an eye. Needless to say, I don't like to be manipulated; I will outsmart you. If I were feeling charitable that night, I might explain that to him and also that I'm not a child, but I think my actions would probably speak louder. ENFJ males just love when you're fiesty.

  2. #462
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
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    There are 2 I know, who I wouldn't say I "hate", as I only really "hate" people who cause real pain to others. However, I do consider them to kind of be, well, as you Unitedstatesians say, asses:p though one more than the other as you will see:

    1.)They are both from rival political groups to the one I am in (and rivals to each other, funnilly enough)

    2.)They are both from very rich families and have a completely romantic "dedication" to "the people", but preserve the right to still consider themselves quite superior. neither has ever had a job, much less had to suffer the humiliation of subservience to which normal people are subjected every day (even if most don't even admit it to themselves).

    3.)their superiority complexes aren't justified: ENFJA is knowledgeable and intelligent but intelelctually lazy and extremely opportunist, and neither is he that knowledgeable and intelligent; ENFJB is not really knowledgeable, and has the pragmatic intelligence of a technocrat and a self-serving manipulator, but not of someone capable of seeign through bullshit and educating others about.

    4.) ENFJA has a kind of guilty division between his romantic dedication to "the people", and the addiction he still has to the prveliges which he grew up with; which makes him kind of likeable soemtimes, and a compelte traitor at other times. ENFJB has no such guilt, and is just a self-serving backstabber.

    5.)ENFJA has supplemented his Fe with a well developed Ni and thinking abilities, and can combine the common touch with good theoretical backing. I respect him for that. However when proved wrong he will fall back on Fe rather than have an honest debate - he is "the boss" of his party in his little town and treats it quite dictatorially, using his Fe when anyone questions their crap politics.

    6.)ENFJB doesn't bother with reaosning at all, because hse is only interested in her career, so couldn't care less if you think her theories are flawed. she will just demagogically appeal to the lowest denominator in order to win votes.

    7.)They just made me waste all that time on a rant about them!
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  3. #463
    Junior Member lovely empty space's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neptunesnet View Post
    And you want to know what I would have done?

    Walked back down to my car, pulled his wallet out of the glovebox, handed it to him, and then unlocked all my cardoors and walked back upstairs without blinking an eye. Needless to say, I don't like to be manipulated; I will outsmart you. If I were feeling charitable that night, I might explain that to him and also that I'm not a child, but I think my actions would probably speak louder. ENFJ males just love when you're fiesty.
    That's what I did! Haha. Came right back up with it, tossed it on my bed, and he laughed at me like I was being immature.

  4. #464
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    I've posted about this guy in bits and pieces, but here's the whole shebang. Some of you might remember some posts and will be amused at my revelations about the situation. So, here it goes, for your amusement:

    I had an ENFJ who befriended me and then very quickly called me his best friend. He maintained the delusion that we were in a relationship and therefore saw it fit to try to control who I talked to. He was very aggressive and yelled and fought constantly. He also manipulated several straight people into sleeping with him, and he took pretty much whatever he could from them. He did a lot of favors for me, but many of them weren't asked for or welcomed. He flat-out stated that he wanted codependency with me, and it was clear that he was trying to establish that by struggling to give me something that I might want.

    I maintained that friendship primarily out of guilt and because I saw some good in him that I wanted to help foster, but eventually my sense of self-preservation and sanity kicked in.

    The final straw came when he asked me for a bunch of favors in a row.. which wasn't bad in and of itself, but it was bad for what it led up to. Part of me thought that this was a way for him to test the strength of our friendship, though I had no way of knowing for sure. I had not responded to these favors, and I was out at a bar with some mutual friends of ours. He called one of these friends up, and that friend mentioned that I was out with them. He then proceeded to tell this friend to tell me that he knew where I was, then accused me of "going out partying instead of helping him." Right.

    I had a month-long trip out of the country scheduled. I invited him to hang out so that we could say goodbye, and he didn't show up. I settled on a phone call, and he said that he was emotional because he was expecting a more meaningful goodbye. I mean, I tried that.

    So, I got back into the states. I invited him out to a few things after that, primarily so that I could convince myself that I was doing the right thing. He never showed up; he was too lazy to get out of bed, he'd claim to want to show up and didn't, and so on. Then, he tried to contact me in very indirect ways and was flat-out insulting to me. I completely ignored his communication, which drove him further into desperation. He got more and more demanding, trying to maintain some sense of power over me. He asked if he'd "fallen from grace." The whole 'emotional manipulation' thing didn't really work.

    A few months later, I got some collect phone calls from a jail. I figured that either it was a scam or it was him, and I didn't really want to deal with either one.

    Someone else who is in his life--and is apparently a better friend than I am--contacted me and told me that he'd been in jail for assaulting his roommate and that any arrest was a violation of his parole. So he screwed up big time. I was glad that he was pretty much out of my life at that point, because I would have gotten pulled into that mess, too.

    He still has some stuff in my closet, and I'm not sure what I should do with it. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

    He is not a typical, healthy ENFJ, and he does not cloud my perception of the type.

    And that's my ENFJ story.

    The end.

  5. #465
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    they can be bossy sometimes. . . that's about it. I love ENFJs to bitsss! and they love me I could never hate them . . .never. =}

  6. #466
    Member sunshinEnfp's Avatar
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    Ugh, right now I feel like I am having a love-hate relationship with ENFJs. My closest friends are ENFJs... but right now, the ENFJness is driving me crazy... esp. out of one of my friends. She's not the healthiest ENFJ and it's DRIVING me crazy. She manipulates guys like crazy and doesn't care about their feelings. She uses them and says she has "shut down" the relationship, but then she will use language with them that I know will keep her options open with them. And it drives me CRAZY because I feel like she is hurting people. And it also hurts me because I wonder how much she is manipulating me and how much she really cares about me (although I know she does care about me very much because she lets me into her life in a different way than pretty much everyone else). But yeah... oh ENFJs...

    Oh and this ENFJ guy I dated... I ended up having to be the one to break it off, but I know he was slowly letting me go, but still trying to keep his options open. I hated it... it's like, JUST TELL ME THAT YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED instead of stringing me along, saying, "Well, it's POSSIBLE that one day we MIGHT be together...." For him, that possibility is different than for me... I will keep hope alive FOREVER AND EVER because he said it's possible... In the meantime--while I am pining for him--he's moving on with his life... and if he gets a whim or feels like it, maybe he might invite me to hang out with him or be something more, but eh, only if HE feels like it (btw, this is all hypothetical but I could see it happened). ENFJs like to be in control, which is hard for someone like me because I like being in control, too. Or at least, not feeling like someone has manipulated me by using my feelings as a weakness. Not sure if any of this makes sense, but there you go!

  7. #467
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Most of them are so god damn nice. They all need a bit of a healthy evil streak.

    :covers own type: You all saw nothing
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  8. #468
    Junior Member Roach's Avatar
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    I have an ENFJ girl in my class and she really pisses me off sometimes can't take criticism at all but seems to criticise everyone else who isn't a close friend. And when stuff needs to be done she ALWAYS has some excuse why she can't come or do her task. Don't even get me started on the part where everything she does is correct and the sweet talk to try and manipulate you in doing something. Grumble

  9. #469
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    ENFJs treat you like sales reps treat customers at a store. Atleast when you first meet them. That's my biggest complaint.

  10. #470
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    They all need a bit of a healthy evil streak.
    You want my puppy sushi recipe?

    :covers own type: You all saw nothing
    I bite too.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

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