Holy crap my ex-boyfriend did this all the time and it really pissed me off. If I was being loud and ENTJish to people who weren't even offended or mad (they were more amused if anything), he'd get pissed at me for them and even come up with comebacks for them. What the hell?
"I have no need for good souls; an accomplice is what I want"--Sartre
psychic changes are born in your heart, entertain.
Oh my. The one I have experience with has a million different goals and depending on who he's talking to, he changes his story to suit whatever the other person wants to hear/will make him seem more impressive.
He has a very high opinion of himself and believes he should be respected and that everyone should respect whatever it is he has respect for.
This would be a typical conversation with him:
Me: I like guys with tattoos.
Him: Really? I'm seriously thinking about getting a tattoo.
Me: I was just kidding. Tattoos are dumb.
Him: Yeah, I don't think I could ever actually go through with it.
Seriously, who ARE YOU? Stop being so fake.
THIS is why I love my INTP husband. He's consistent, he doesn't apologize for who he is, he doesn't conform. Stable and steady.
Because though socionics is a pile of misorganised crap, for me INTJ/ENFJ works out more or less exactly as what they call a relationship of semi-duality. Viz:
Kinda disappointed that everything runs so much on these kind of rails.
I don't know that there is a secret. Maturity and life experience is a big one. I also feel that our specific relationship variables are not run of the mill either and it plays a huge role in how well we communicate which is better than most people because we had to. My feeling is if you are honest, even if it's painfully so, you'll get further than just adapting (or wanting to hear the sound of his own voice which I don't encounter at all). We may very well take different paths to the outcome but we both have the same goal.
I'm not saying we are the only exceptions to the rules or the rules of semi-duality. I'm just saying we are aware, we are ok with some conflict (no one goes off the deep end, gets irrational or illogical to extremes), work to overcome and the weirdness has to be embraced. We did that without a doubt. The moth to the flame though, so very true. There's no make up sex though. Ever.
I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
I think the key is that, from what I've read, and how I interact, some of you are missing the role of ENFJ as benevolent demagogue. Demagogue, sure: but, to make people feel better about themselves and find a way to make them happy is not a bad thing. Personally, it would eat me up if I were to not have a situation work out that was equally beneficial, so I strive to do that in every situation.