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  1. #31
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    They are ALWAYS positive and supportive and giving out complikments. I know they always only say things they mean, but I don't find this constant extreme optimism very realistic. If I am looking for a reliable opinion, I will not choose an ENFJ's!
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

  2. #32
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by illiterate abc View Post
    HAHA this is so me.
    AND you have a fantastic hat. *zen chimes*
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #33
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Are ENFJ's prone to emotional outbursts and then resort to acting babyish and sulking when they don't get their way?


    And they are prone to jealousy and try to ruin any other possible romantic interaction you might have with someone else, even after you've been broken up for at least a year or two?

    And they are really needy and smothering?

    Because uh, yeah, I agree, they are ANNOYING!!!

    And if not...um, just scratch all that above. I'm a private person, you know.

    The one I knew fit that description quite well! (we're talking about someone who sat and pouted and cried all evening once because I complained that my steak at the resteraunt had too much fat on it and he took it that I was calling him fat!) Also horribly needy-

    ENFJ- can you come over here... I'm hungry and lonely.
    Me- But I just stocked your refrigerator yesterday! There's plenty of food!
    ENFJ- can you come over and cook it for me?
    Me- but you know how to cook!
    ENFJ- yeah- but I don't wanna- I'm curled up under my blankie
    Me- oh fine- I'll be over in 10 minutes
    ENFJ- can you bring me some more yogurt and cereal when you come? I ate mine

    And he cried when I went on a date with someone else after he'd broken up with me!

    Maybe we should introduce the two of them!

  4. #34
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Reading this thread, I'm sure one of my room mates was an ENFJ. I didn't have any real problems with her.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    OK,now I am going to have to ask everyone I know if I come off as "needy".<<<which will make me sound needy right? Damn I can't win! The thought of that makes me. I will agree with most of the negatives here...but not that one. I like being self-sufficient.
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  6. #36
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    OK,now I am going to have to ask everyone I know if I come off as "needy".<<<which will make me sound needy right? Damn I can't win! The thought of that makes me. I will agree with most of the negatives here...but not that one. I like being self-sufficient.
    not all ENFJs are immature ENFJs. You are not an immature ENFJ, so ignore the negatives that are only negatives of the immature ones.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  7. #37
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    not all ENFJs are immature ENFJs. You are not an immature ENFJ, so ignore the negatives that are only negatives of the immature ones.
    I agree with UseHerName, the examples of 2 (possible/probable) ENFJ exes does not for a holistic view of type. I actually had no idea my ex was an ENFJ, but suddenly it's all coming together. LOL.

    Seriously though, as you can see from the description, my ex and Whatever's ex -- they were kinda 'special people' (No offense to Whatever)

    But seriously, a grown man crying over someone commenting on their steak and whining to get their gf to come over like that. COME ON. The hilarious thing is, I could SO EASILY see my ex doing the same thing about whining and getting me to come over and taking comments directed at other things personally.

    My ex would also take snacks and other food items from her old roommate's house "as a joke" when she was over. She would stash them in her bag and take them with her. When said roommate asked where his food went, I told him honestly that my ex took it. And then my ex got all righteously angry and pouty that I had 'told' on her because "nobody is supposed to know"! HAHAHAHAHAH. OMG.

    All I can say in my defense is that I was young...very young...and I don't mean just in physical age.

    And yeah seriously, I really do NOT think these are descriptions of 'normal' ENFJs...I really hope not...

    Whatever, what do you think?

    As for my exe's good points, when she wasn't being smothering, she was very affectionate and caring and would cook a lot to take care of me. When she wasn't completely paralyzed with anger and her inability to express herself, she was pretty expressive of her emotions (namely the happy and loving ones). She had a REAL hard time expressing anger in a constructive way. My best advice to her was always "calm down and breathe".

    I know...that sounds like a backhanded compliment. But again, I am NOT speaking for all ENFJs or think she was a 'normal' representative of a healthy ENFJ.

  8. #38
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    They CAN'T be normal anything! I'm really quite amused that anyone else has met someone like that!

  9. #39
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    ENFJs, never had trouble interacting with females one. They're great. The males: they can be a problem when they cannot accept their basically F nature and use the F in order to achieve goals (manipulating people). I have come into contact only with two of this kind and my behavior in both occasions has been to first make them believe I was buddy-buddy with them in their attempts at manipulating everybody else, and then suddenly stabbed them in the back exposing their lies. I hope they won't kill me in the future...

  10. #40
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    My ENFP twin and I were just discussing this very thing last night -- how different the ENFJ men are from the women. I'd posited the theory that they were overpowered by emotion (as I frequently feel) but are societally trained as males to dissociate from the emotion, and the only way to do that is to become a complete jerk. The tidal wave of emotion is bad enough as a female, I can only imagine how paralyzing it must be for a man in the same position. This is not of course carte blanche for them to act like brutes. I make no excuses for it. Just pondering.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

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