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  1. #341
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Who doesn't hate ENFJs though?

    The only thing they are good for (besides as a warning to others) is as an alternative fuel source.
    Wait I thought of another positive attribute!

    If your mule dies, you can easily use a team of ENFJs to pull the plow and get the seeds planted. Don't even really need to feed 'em!

  2. #342
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    Until I stumbled across this thread I did not realise that there was an assumed hatred of ENFJs?!! I always thought that they were well liked... however, someone did say that perfection doesn't foster a connection... maybe that's the issue!
    ... couldn't drag me away

    Željko Ražnatovic: argus
    Željko Ražnatovic: do you want heir's?
    WildHorses: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Željko Ražnatovic: to carry your genealogical code??

  3. #343
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    :o I just discovered this thread and had it has left me wanting to respond, even if it involves a little bit of thread necromancy Since I am an ENFJ myself I will not add to the prodigious list that has been compiled here but I will try to provide some insight to each of the faults that have been listed here about us (This is from a male perspective, might be worth noting).

    After reading through this thread the biggest source of hatred I have found is the manipulative aspect of us. Personally, I can wholeheartedly see how this is true. As I have just started getting into all of this MBTI stuff I can't say for sure if I have been actively involved with another ENFJ in my life so I will just try to relate to this trait through my own experience.

    I am manipulative. That is a fact that I won't contest. I would rather it be a different word as that one sounds like some epic paragon of evil but whatever. The thing is though, or maybe this is just what I tell myself, I don't actively tell myself that "I must manipulate this person so X can be achieved" or anything close to that. I naturally get a long with every person I meet and through my intuition I subconsciously begin to process thoughts about who this person is and how I should relate to them, adjusting to meet the circumstances. The overbearing reason I do this is not because I want too but because it is natural. I naturally enjoying talking to people and learning about them and how they want to see people, nothing is premeditated.

    On the same token of how I naturally love to envelope myself in the troubles of others I also can be very harsh and judgmental. Through past introspection I have found that if someone I see has an assortment of very negative traits (Ex. Rudeness, Lying) I will instinctively become very distrustful of that person and adjust my emotions and body language to that person in a way that others will notice and many times even emulate. This is the part I dislike most about myself as I do not wish to bring sadness to another person but when I see someone so corrupt in the ideals which I hold in my head I just can't stand to be in their presence.

    Secondly, though it wasn't one of the more common complaints, is how we neglect our own needs for others and end up internalizing a lot of issues. From a male perspective this is one of the toughest things for me to deal with. I find that I only internalize the emotions that emotionally damage me, anything else will be shared with joyous abundance I am hoping dealing with these internal emotions will get easier as I mature more (21st birthday approaching). The best solution I have found to do is either A. Do a massive amount of cardio that would make the average person think I had a pack of swooning lepers chasing after me or B. Take a bath, turn of the lights and just go through every emotion, this isn't anything dark or evil, just a realization of all the emotions I have internalized. I guess this all comes back to the whole thing about ENFJs not being able to open up themselves to others. Quoting runvardh from one of the first posts in this thread: "It's a real pain in the ass to show them that yes you really do give a shit, 100 fucking %". No one has been able to convince me of that yet.

    Hopefully this gives you guys a little idea on some of the traits you have listed. I don't know where I fall on the good and bad scale of ENFJs but I tried to give an honest account of how I deal with the issues that were presented.

    Oh and..

  4. #344
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    Question Some more questions for an enfj please

    After reading through this thread the biggest source of hatred I have found is the manipulative aspect of us. Personally, I can wholeheartedly see how this is true. As I have just started getting into all of this MBTI stuff I can't say for sure if I have been actively involved with another ENFJ in my life so I will just try to relate to this trait through my own experience.
    thanks for the willingness...i am a woman who really wants to understand what it is like for a male enfj.


    I am manipulative. That is a fact that I won't contest. I would rather it be a different word as that one sounds like some epic paragon of evil but whatever. The thing is though, or maybe this is just what I tell myself, I don't actively tell myself that "I must manipulate this person so X can be achieved" or anything close to that. I naturally get a long with every person I meet and through my intuition I subconsciously begin to process thoughts about who this person is and how I should relate to them, adjusting to meet the circumstances. The overbearing reason I do this is not because I want too but because it is natural. I naturally enjoying talking to people and learning about them and how they want to see people, nothing is premeditated.
    The problem is we, as non enfj's come away feeling so manipulated and used that we can't feel good about you after the relationship ends. I don't like feelign this way. I can take responsibility for my end of the deal, but it seems like ever time I confront an enfj as to their intentions, they seem oblivious of some very real hurts they cause. The anguish is in not seeing our feelings...it seems that no matter what I say to let a man into my world, all he tends to do is say. "that is not the way I see it"...it tends to come across and never validating our feelings, but boy, if we don't look after yours, you guys tend to go nuts.


    Secondly, though it wasn't one of the more common complaints, is how we neglect our own needs for others and end up internalizing a lot of issues. From a male perspective this is one of the toughest things for me to deal with. I find that I only internalize the emotions that emotionally damage me, anything else will be shared with joyous abundance
    :

    Yes, I have heard this before in that the guy goes nuts with envy and disdain and paranoia and sickto the stomach type of feelings, but won't let this out in front of me. Its all alone and over email or the phone and it doesn't lend itself to a sharing experience where we might be able to comfort or help. If nothign more than a simple hug. I want to be there, but its impossible!!



    Quoting runvardh from one of the first posts in this thread: "It's a real pain in the ass to show them that yes you really do give a shit, 100 fucking %". No one has been able to convince me of that yet.
    I dont understand the context of this quote...is it the enfj that worries aobut showing that they care of is the other person????


    Hopefully this gives you guys a little idea on some of the traits you have listed. I don't know where I fall on the good and bad scale of ENFJs but I tried to give an honest account of how I deal with the issues that were presented.
    ITs very kind of you to examine yourself and try and be honest with us.
    I do want to ask something...i think Kalach said it, but not sure...its like you guys need to be IN us somehow.....can you elaborate on this. I think he has an interesting idea...I ask this because the last enfj that I knew would be pushy with respect to my boundaries regarding discussing certain issues. If things were not goign well and he was distressed (both of us were), its like he HAD to have a discussion when he wanted it. He wouldn't allow me to process for awhile and think , then talk...He was very goo dabout outher boundaries, but when it came to this issue, he just blew it over and over. ITs eventaully the proverbial straw that broke the camels back with us. He pushed me one time too many and I fought back with words, which can come way too easily for me when I am pushed too hard, and it brought everything down to a crashing halt. I dont' even know how he felt because he would not speak to me, either bec. he didn't or bec. someone else told him not to. I view this pushiness and then no communication as incredibly cowardly. Very cruel to me and unjust. I just wanted to understand, but he wouldn't let me. Why do so many nf's just ditch people when things do go their way. I don't even know what really happened...??

  5. #345
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I don't know why NFs abruptly ditch people, but it's not charming or humane.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #346
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    *Bludgeons Pink with a feather.*

    I did NOT! I do NOT!
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  7. #347
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Oh you think after the way you treated me, vile harpy, that you'll win me back with your sexy feather bludgeoning skillz!



    And you'd so be right.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  8. #348
    Senior Member FantailedWall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I don't know why NFs abruptly ditch people, but it's not charming or humane.
    Do not! Do not!
    -Ditches rock at her head-

    Unless...That's what you meant

  9. #349
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I see a little fantail wishes to get the sexy piranha treatment!! *stuffs you in a bubble chest until done chasing Anja around the tank*
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #350
    Senior Member FantailedWall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I see a little fantail wishes to get the sexy piranha treatment!! *stuffs you in a bubble chest until done chasing Anja around the tank*
    Mmmposdfhq0328947!+#8)(@!
    My ENFP freedom is being restricted

    I DEMAND RELEASE.

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