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[ENFJ] Hate an ENFJ? Tell us why!

jenn-x

New member
Joined
Oct 29, 2011
Messages
1
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I've read most of this thread. I'm heartbroken. I'm here because I'm an ENFJ trying to understand where my last relationship went wrong (I only just learned what personality I am). And believe me, I am starting to get it.

[edit: talkative; way too emotionally effusive]
 
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Lily flower

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
930
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2
I generally love ENFJ's, but one of my friends (not my husband) who is an ENFJ is annoying because not only does he think he is right about everything, he picks really weird things to be "right" about. Like, he will say that an entire branch of academia is useless, and then discount absolutely everyone in the field and look down on anyone who shows the least bit of interest in it. It would be like denying that the study of Chemistry had any value at all. Then he adopts a martyr attitude if anyone disagrees with him. It's kind of like, "I'm trying to save the world here, by teaching people that Chemistry is useless. Why are you preventing me from saving lots of people?" Arg!
 
D

Dali

Guest
So, I just exited a r/ship. Took me a while to realise I'd spent the last 7 months being emotionally abused. They knew where the skeletons were buried and did not hesitate to drag them out every time we had a fight; I still don't understand why someone who professes to love you would put turn so hateful when angry. Also can't imagine why someone would repeatedly say that you're the best thing that ever happened to them and then want to change everything about you that veered away from the conventional.

Ashamed to say this but I feel like I've gradually made myself 'smaller' and more 'normal' to seek their approval. I miss my old self. It's going to be an uphill struggle getting my old self back.
 
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Dali

Guest
So, I just exited a r/ship. Took me a while to realise I'd spent the last 7 months being emotionally abused. They knew where the skeletons were buried and did not hesitate to drag them out every time we had a fight; I still don't understand why someone who professes to love you would put turn so hateful when angry. Also can't imagine why someone would repeatedly say that you're the best thing that ever happened to them and then want to change everything about you that veered away from the conventional.

Ashamed to say this but I feel like I've gradually made myself 'smaller' and more 'normal' to seek their approval. I miss my old self. It's going to be an uphill struggle getting my old self back.
 

caterpillar

New member
Joined
Feb 28, 2016
Messages
1
MBTI Type
infx
My one experience with an enfj was horrible. Why because being nice is not kind. Enfj doesn't understand what kindness is. Nice is about oneself.
 

Forever

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
8,551
MBTI Type
NiFi
Enneagram
3w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I talk a lot :mellow:

*plays Karma Police by Radiohead*
 

mono

New member
Joined
Nov 25, 2015
Messages
24
Enneagram
7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I talked to an enfj about some anxiety problems I was having and he was very supportive and helpful.
A week later I'm with the enfj and an istj and we're drinking and talking, having a good time and I start arguing with the istj, poking at each other lightheartedly like we always do, no one's angry at all, and all of the sudden the enfj explodes in front of everyone about how my nerves aren't well and I'm always angry at myself and people and I'm going crazy and need to start taking crazy pills. Everyone was staring at him dumbfounded. What a crazy cunt.
And the fact that he attacked me based on something very personal I'd confided in a weak moment was really low.
Not my first experience like that with an enfj either. They can be some of the most toxic, ignorant, narcissistic people around.
 

Tilt

Active member
Joined
Sep 18, 2015
Messages
2,584
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
3w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I talked to an enfj about some anxiety problems I was having and he was very supportive and helpful.
A week later I'm with the enfj and an istj and we're drinking and talking, having a good time and I start arguing with the istj, poking at each other lightheartedly like we always do, no one's angry at all, and all of the sudden the enfj explodes in front of everyone about how my nerves aren't well and I'm always angry at myself and people and I'm going crazy and need to start taking crazy pills. Everyone was staring at him dumbfounded. What a crazy cunt.
And the fact that he attacked me based on something very personal I'd confided in a weak moment was really low.
Not my first experience like that with an enfj either. They can be some of the most toxic, ignorant, narcissistic people around.

Sorry to hear that. Some people just don't have good discretion. That's disgusting that he brought it out in the open like that.
 

StarFollowed

Stardust
Joined
Jul 12, 2016
Messages
79
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I don’t hate this particular ENFJ, but she cut contact with me at the lowest point of my life, when I was suicidal and needed someone. The irony is that she attempted suicide herself several years ago, so I couldn’t understand why she’d just abandon me.
 

Lia_kat

New member
Joined
Jan 6, 2016
Messages
750
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I love them. I'm married to one. But they can come off as very pompous, self-righteous, critical, and bossy. They tend to be "mother hen" types, but it turns into "This is what you should do. I know what's best for you." It can get annoying, especially for an Fi-dom like me (can seem controlling), but I think they mean well. Except if it's a particularly unhealthy one.

I've also seen how they can be very cutting with their words in certain situations. An angry ENFJ is not a pretty sight.
 

Eluded_One

Building muscle memory in my brain
Joined
Mar 29, 2011
Messages
569
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Manipulative with good intentions, doing whatever it takes to be liked within their boundaries, keeping their true feelings from plain sight, more focus on family than a chill friend to have a beer with. Friendship seems to be on their low priority list. Which is contrary to my personal values and those that don't honor the "bro code". Only speaking from the ENFJ's that I have experienced. Can't speak for all of them.
 
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