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  1. #21
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    He was much older and outranked me in experience, skill, and status.

    I think the positive spin on that skill is that ENFJs can inspire people. If they expect or desire the best from people, others tend to work to live up to those ideals and are better for it. Sometimes the world needs a little boost. That is why the ENFJ is called the pedagogue. They make uniquely inspiring mentors and teachers because of their ideals combined with their communication skills.
    None of that positive foolishness! Leave you accolades at the door. We want the ugly truth.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  2. #22
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelostnf View Post
    That's a shame. My INFP friends have never been anything but understanding to me when I'm feeling like I need someone to lean on. I may do a lot more of the being leaned on but they've never not been there for me and I've never ever felt that they were cold.
    Eh, not totally turned off of ENFJs because of her though; she just helped me add a few extra hoops for single mothers to jump through if they want me.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #23
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    He was much older and outranked me in experience, skill, and status.

    I think the positive spin on that skill is that ENFJs can inspire people. If they expect or desire the best from people, others tend to work to live up to those ideals and are better for it. Sometimes the world needs a little boost. That is why the ENFJ is called the pedagogue. They make uniquely inspiring mentors and teachers because of their ideals combined with their communication skills.
    I've seen some ENFJs do serious damage before and it always makes me furious. It goes against everything we're supposed to stand for. I guess it's our dark side? A person in the "grip" exhibits their very worst traits. I have an INFJ family member who is incredibly clever and funny and very caring. Their flip side is stunning cruelty. I look at this person, someone I'm told I'm a mini-me carbon copy of, and I tell myself that since I'm so close to that type, I should never allow myself to brutalize people. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. And I hate being manipulated more than just about anything, so I try not to use such tactics on others. If I can't get what I'm after in a straight-forward manner, I leave it alone.

  4. #24
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Something I hate about ENFJs: Emotional brutality when in the grip.

  5. #25
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    ENFJs can be real assholes- they sometimes hit people they claim to love, cheat on you while accusing you of being to friendly with some other guy (even if he's your gay lab partner!) and enjoy taking advantage of other people's generosity while criticizing what you have to offer!

    I actually have a question for you guys- what are nice ENFJs like?

  6. #26
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I actually have a question for you guys- what are nice ENFJs like?
    I'll answer that in another thread, if created
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #27
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    done

  8. #28

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    One of my best friends is an ENFJ. I think she's a spoiled brat and I can not stand being around her when she's drunk. She pretty self-centered and never admits that she's wrong. But i like her anyway.

  9. #29
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    calling me an evil cold hearted bitch for not crying at movies
    OMG, is this an ENFJ trait??? That means my ex was an ENFJ. And she gets on my fucking nerves!!!

    Except, she wasn't that good at manipulating people...wait...unlesss you count manipulating me...

    DAMMIT.

    She thought she was pretty good at manipulating people but for me, it gold old fast.

    Are ENFJ's prone to emotional outbursts and then resort to acting babyish and sulking when they don't get their way?

    And they don't understand the meaning of "let's take a break?"

    And they are prone to jealousy and try to ruin any other possible romantic interaction you might have with someone else, even after you've been broken up for at least a year or two?

    And they are really needy and smothering?

    Because uh, yeah, I agree, they are ANNOYING!!!

    And if not...um, just scratch all that above. I'm a private person, you know.

  10. #30
    Junior Member illiterate abc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    ENFJs are always right... even when they aren't. They also can do odd things like insist that there are deep meanings in the lyrics to Metallica songs and calling me an evil cold hearted bitch for not crying at movies when I know how they end because they're based on a true story that everyone should know. ENFJs know the answers to everything... even when they don't. They also sometimes do horrible and odd things like listen to the same song or watch the same movie over and over and over and make a poor ISTP want to kill them!

    These are things that all 3 ENFJs I know do rather consistantly!
    HAHA this is so me.

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