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[NF] Fe Fi Fo epiphany... (NFs?)

nynesneg

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*wafts over from cloud nine*
jk. Hi guys!:hi:

No seriously I had an epiphany last night. One of those deep contemplational moments about life and midnight ramblings with friends. It was so compelling, I had to log back in (after a forum sabbatical) to share with my fellow ENF mates. Tell me how you relate to this!
  • We've kind of mentioned this before, but crazy as an ENF how sometimes we have a natural ability to just read someone (or multiple people) in 5 seconds and feel like you just know them and connect with them. Not just their layer of feelings, but you just understand them as a person and their perspective of life right then (even if you're totally different).
    .
  • Do you ever wish you could just be a giant teddy bear and run up and engulf someone in a big hug of caring warmth? Male friend(s) dealing with issues in life, and where social boundries dictate your actions, you just want to utterly engulf them in human care, make it all better, have them know everything will be alright. Kinda like the connections of the shapeshifter on Star Trek. lol.
    .
  • If I had to be addicted to one thing as those who are addicted to drugs, food, or something... It would be connecting with people on a deep psychological level - A very real understanding and empathizing with them as another personal human being.

No I don't want to be a psychologist. I'm usually not this warm fuzzy and mushy. lol. Miss goal driven ENFJ. ;)

It's just... Can you relate to the incredible experience you get from helping someone... It's like empowering brain pheramones or something you get merely from connecting with people, not any one person in particular, but the connection itself to that person. You connect with people so much, this is why it is so hard to break up with someone, you are so strongly drawn to harmony itself.

Wow this sounds psycho. lol! Thus my post in here with all us crazy NFs.
 
Last edited:

nynesneg

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30 views.

Oh come on. You know you secretly like it. ;)



:devil:
 

StrappingYoungLad

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I'm Fi user and I don't need incredible experiences from helping someone to reach harmony.
I feel all that without the need to share meaningful experiences with people. :D
 

nynesneg

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Well sure, it's not something you *need* at all per say. But do you find helping someone/connecting with them is something that comes very natural to you and is most meaningful?
 
G

Glycerine

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I'm w/ you fellow ENFJ. I always try to remember things for folks to help them out. Oh please... Fi is no excuse for not helping others. ;) My ISFP friend and INFP mother are much more selfless than me in some ways.
 

Scott N Denver

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I'm Fi user and I don't need incredible experiences from helping someone to reach harmony.
I feel all that without the need to share meaningful experiences with people. :D

Well sure, it's not something you *need* at all per say. But do you find helping someone/connecting with them is something that comes very natural to you and is most meaningful?

You wrote your OP to ENF's, so I was staying out. I think INF's have tremendous insight into people as well, but I thought you had some special exotic ENF whatever-thingy going on that I don't understand or lack experience with. Depending on what you mean by "knowing all about a person in 5 seconds or less", I either can or can not directly relate from personal experience. Going back to the "ENF thing I don't understand" though, at the same time I know that I don't know ALL of the details about a person in 5 seconds, but I can get a very good top level view. There are always more details to fill in, many of them surprising.

Oh, and in answer to the second quoted message above, yes.
 

Wonkavision

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[
[*]We've kind of mentioned this before, but crazy as an ENF how sometimes we have a natural ability to just read someone (or multiple people) in 5 seconds and feel like you just know them and connect with them. Not just their layer of feelings, but you just understand them as a person and their perspective of life right then (even if you're totally different)..

I definitely relate to this.


.
[*]Do you ever wish you could just be a giant teddy bear and run up and engulf someone in a big hug of caring warmth? Male friend(s) dealing with issues in life, and where social boundries dictate your actions, you just want to utterly engulf them in human care, make it all better, have them know everything will be alright. Kinda like the connections of the shapeshifter on Star Trek. lol..

YUCK. I don't relate to this at all! LOL.


.
[*]If I had to be addicted to one thing as those who are addicted to drugs, food, or something... It would be connecting with people on a deep psychological level - A very real understanding and empathizing with them as another personal human being..

Not so much. Maybe a little.


It's just... Can you relate to the incredible experience you get from helping someone... It's like empowering brain pheramones or something you get merely from connecting with people, not any one person in particular, but the connection itself to that person. You connect with people so much, this is why it is so hard to break up with someone, you are so strongly drawn to harmony itself.

Not so much.

I'm not much of a helper. I'm more concerned with doing my own thing, and if it helps, great.

Not too concerned about harmony either.

I'm more interested in change/transformation, even if it requires conflict.
 

Poki

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I actually recognize this now when I am stressed. I guess its my ENFJ shadow. Se feeds off of Fi. Its our "adrenaline" so to say.
 

nynesneg

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Poki I'd be curious to hear more insight into your comment.

It's interesting. I'm not much of a helper either most of the time, I've just found myself exposed to situations recently which have brought out the Fe in me. I've become more aware of what great enjoyment it gives, such as helping people understand another in specific situations on here on this forum, or just IRL helping friends going through something.

Most of the time if you'd made a comment to me about wanting to be a giant stuffed teddy bear and hug someone, I'd literally ROFL and think you were a complete mushy dork. ;) But my epiphany was in one of those drunken conversations with friends at 2 am, so very real and relaxed.

I posted this on here, because it's remarkably resemblant to the ENFJ description of their drive to connect with other people. I never noticed that in myself before or thought I identified with it.
 

Scott N Denver

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are you trying to claim that INF's aren't capable of the following???
"We've kind of mentioned this before, but crazy as an ENF how sometimes we have a natural ability to just read someone (or multiple people) in 5 seconds and feel like you just know them and connect with them. Not just their layer of feelings, but you just understand them as a person and their perspective of life right then (even if you're totally different)."

Personally a certain amount of me wants to claim that INF's are more capable of the above than ENF's are, I'm not sure though.
 

nynesneg

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Na of course I never I never meant that. I merely assumed ENFs would probably relate to my thoughts better, and I'm pretty lousy at following the INF discussions. Also I was trying to refer to how they naturally make the other person feel at ease so they just open up which I'd imagine INFs are much better at internal understanding but less external, no? I wouldn't know.

I changed the title and some paragraphs to include all NFs. :yes:
 

Thalassa

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*wafts over from cloud nine*
jk. Hi guys!:hi:

No seriously I had an epiphany last night. One of those deep contemplational moments about life and midnight ramblings with friends. It was so compelling, I had to log back in (after a forum sabbatical) to share with my fellow ENF mates. Tell me how you relate to this!
  • We've kind of mentioned this before, but crazy as an ENF how sometimes we have a natural ability to just read someone (or multiple people) in 5 seconds and feel like you just know them and connect with them. Not just their layer of feelings, but you just understand them as a person and their perspective of life right then (even if you're totally different).


  • I can actually feel other people's feelings sometimes. There are also certain individuals...I can just feel when they're around or I know they're going to call or that they've emailed me. I know I'm tripping into psychic territory there, but it's very real and it's happened to me repeatedly for years.
    .
    [*]Do you ever wish you could just be a giant teddy bear and run up and engulf someone in a big hug of caring warmth? Male friend(s) dealing with issues in life, and where social boundries dictate your actions, you just want to utterly engulf them in human care, make it all better, have them know everything will be alright. Kinda like the connections of the shapeshifter on Star Trek. lol.

    Yes
    .
    [*]If I had to be addicted to one thing as those who are addicted to drugs, food, or something... It would be connecting with people on a deep psychological level - A very real understanding and empathizing with them as another personal human being.

welll....this would be a little too much for me, to be addicted or obsessed

No I don't want to be a psychologist. I'm usually not this warm fuzzy and mushy. lol. Miss goal driven ENFJ. ;)

When I was in high school I wanted to be a psychiatrist. Now I know better. I couldn't handle it. I'm neither rational nor detatched enough to deal with all that comes along with that.

It's just... Can you relate to the incredible experience you get from helping someone... It's like empowering brain pheramones or something you get merely from connecting with people, not any one person in particular, but the connection itself to that person. You connect with people so much, this is why it is so hard to break up with someone, you are so strongly drawn to harmony itself.

hmmm I agree on the empowering experience of feeling like you've helped someone, yes, I love the way that feels too

but I don't know about the part at the bottom about it being hard to break up with someone...only if I really like or love that person, but see I have Fi, not Fe, so my love is more like a cat's love...picky but intense

Wow this sounds psycho. lol! Thus my post in here with all us crazy NFs.

I'll be a psycho with you if it's any consolation.;)
 

nynesneg

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...I can just feel when they're around or I know they're going to call or that they've emailed me.
Wow! While I was just thinking of an extraordinary ability to understand people, but your ability is impressive.

When I was in high school I wanted to be a psychiatrist. Now I know better. I couldn't handle it. I'm neither rational nor detached enough to deal with all that comes along with that.
Same here. People's perspectives on life and how they think is so fascinating! But it would be depressing hearing people's problems all day long, even with the rewarding opportunity to positively change their life. Helping people isn't my primary function anyway, I'd be bored, I want to accomplish my own life!

hmm I agree on the empowering experience of feeling like you've helped someone, yes, I love the way that feels too
It was so cool... My friend is going through some difficult sh*t and I just wanted them to somehow know how much I care. Gave them a hug and after several seconds I could just feel their tension melting away.

I'll be a psycho with you if it's any consolation.;)
Hurray, someone who understands my experiences and what I was trying to say!
emoticon_Clapping.gif
I would be very interested in Athenian200's perspective.
 

OrangeAppled

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We've kind of mentioned this before, but crazy as an ENF how sometimes we have a natural ability to just read someone (or multiple people) in 5 seconds and feel like you just know them and connect with them. Not just their layer of feelings, but you just understand them as a person and their perspective of life right then (even if you're totally different).

I don't feel I can read someone in that I know everything they are feeling, but it's unusual that I meet someone and don't quickly surmise them quite accurately. I don't make snap judgments though.....although I did when I was a small child. I tend to stay open and neutral towards people until they prove themselves one way or the other.

I also can usually perceive when someone is acting in a way that's unrelated to me, and so I won't take it personally (ie. seemingly unfriendly, but I can tell they are just stressed). Of course, there are occasions when people fool me about their true selves, and when I am wrong, I can be very wrong.

I don't "connect" with people quickly or easily at all. To connect, I must feel I am also understood and appreciated on some level. Most of the time I feel people are viewing my exterior with little understanding of who I actually am.
I do find people can unexpectedly latch onto me because I show them some level of interest they are not used to. This never ceases to surprise me though....

Do you ever wish you could just be a giant teddy bear and run up and engulf someone in a big hug of caring warmth? Male friend(s) dealing with issues in life, and where social boundries dictate your actions, you just want to utterly engulf them in human care, make it all better, have them know everything will be alright. Kinda like the connections of the shapeshifter on Star Trek. lol.

Err...no. I'm not that mushy gushy at all. There are rare occasions in which I feel compelled to hug someone spontaneously, and only until recently did I really like to hug at all. My hugs are usually at expected times (a greeting or a goodbye). I feel very awkward to initiate hugs also, but that could be my introversion.

If I had to be addicted to one thing as those who are addicted to drugs, food, or something... It would be connecting with people on a deep psychological level - A very real understanding and empathizing with them as another personal human being.

I feel I could be this way. I've never been in romantic love, and a part of me fears some overwhelming obsessive addiction, so I tend to keep people at arm's length. I don't feel I could ever be an emotional connecting junkie who jumps from person to person to maintain that high - that seems more of an extrovert thing (sorry ENFXs :tongue: ).

It's just... Can you relate to the incredible experience you get from helping someone... It's like empowering brain pheramones or something you get merely from connecting with people, not any one person in particular, but the connection itself to that person. You connect with people so much, this is why it is so hard to break up with someone, you are so strongly drawn to harmony itself.

I find helping people in an emotional way very stimulating, so yes, I do get this. I've mentioned many times how "healing" people feels like solving an emotional puzzle, and it's very gratifying.
 

visaisahero

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I relate strongly with the first post, and I know that my ENFJ mate who I meet up late at night for supper, drinks and philosophical discussions would as well, and more strongly so.
 

Poki

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Poki I'd be curious to hear more insight into your comment.

It's interesting. I'm not much of a helper either most of the time, I've just found myself exposed to situations recently which have brought out the Fe in me. I've become more aware of what great enjoyment it gives, such as helping people understand another in specific situations on here on this forum, or just IRL helping friends going through something.

Most of the time if you'd made a comment to me about wanting to be a giant stuffed teddy bear and hug someone, I'd literally ROFL and think you were a complete mushy dork. ;) But my epiphany was in one of those drunken conversations with friends at 2 am, so very real and relaxed.

I posted this on here, because it's remarkably resemblant to the ENFJ description of their drive to connect with other people. I never noticed that in myself before or thought I identified with it.

Mine is more of a spiritual Fi connection not a verbal connection. From just a theoretical standpoint mine is driven by the response from the action of helping which would be inferior Fe. I am curious if your connection and enjoyment in understanding a situation is your inferior Ti as Ti and Ni seem to be the understanding portion.
 
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