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  1. #61
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Obliviousness strikes me again:steam:!!
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  2. #62
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    Actually, what you said about closure has given me a bit of an epiphany...

    Would it be fair to say that somebody who needs and seeks closure might be tempted to 'find' or 'see' it when it's not necessarily there, even when it's a kind of closure they don't really want?

    What I mean is that when I went to pains to keep things open ended, to say that this wasn't the end, do you think that perhaps the closure-seeking tendency might've stepped in there, causing her to 'need' to be either/or - not feeling comfy with the in-between idea, she sorta brought closure to it herself, deciding for some reason that she couldn't see my kids any more, and that I hated her and never wanted to see her again even though I never said anything to that effect?

    Maybe if she were blind to her own closure-orientedness, she might not realise she'd done that, and attribute it to me, to say that I "cut her dead" when in fact I did no such thing...

    Thing is, it wasn't my specific intention to necessarily drift apart after 'phase one'. My plan, such as it was, went something more like this:

    Phase 1: Just step back a bit and put a bit of distance between us
    Phase 2: See how things go, leave it a while, think on it etc
    Phase 3: Examine, after things blow over, whether we could still get on on a lighter/less close level, and if so, embrace that. If not, then just keep giving excuses until they get the hint. But stay in touch, and open to the idea that things might improve in the future as both of us change and grow.

    Was this actually an instance of my Ne sorta compulsively seeking open-endedness, not realising she wanted the opposite, while her Fe was doing the same thing in reverse? And then we blame each other when neither of us are happy with the effects?

    I mean, I don't want to get back into debating the rights and wrongs of my personal choices, but in general, do you think this is a fair proposal for something that Fe dominant people might be prone to doing in relationships?

    Because if this were the case... well, it could just be that a lot of the 'evil' that the other person gets accused of is actually in their heads... again, not trying to get myself off the hook here but just talking generally.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
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  3. #63
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    Thank you for reminding me of the depths of my nerdiness. (Not because I've reached 1000 posts, mind you, but because I've known for several hundred posts what I'll change my title to. )
    Heh, I can't understand why you'd be accused of being S. To an INxJ planning comes as naturally as breathing, even when it's something fairly trivial like a forum title.

    Because there are other reasons for not wanting people to be hurt, than empathy alone. That's kinda what the point of the thread was supposed to be about... lol
    I think you have gotten an indirect answer to your original question. You asked if Empathy = good, and the general response was to try to understand the relationship problem that you were having.
    My wife and I made a game to teach kids about nutrition. Please try our game and vote for us to win. (Voting period: July 14 - August 14)
    http://www.revoltingvegetables.com

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Liquid_Laser View Post
    I think you have gotten an indirect answer to your original question. You asked if Empathy = good, and the general response was to try to understand the relationship problem that you were having.
    :yim_rolling_on_the_

    I love ENTP's

    I swear, I could kiss you... but Maverick might doubt the sincerity of my proposal earlier if I did
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  5. #65
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    Thank you for reminding me of the depths of my nerdiness.
    Don't feel bad, it could be worse... look at Jennifer's post count, or mine for that matter. I've only been here since July, and somehow I've already made 1,200+ posts.

    There's two ways you can look at it. One is that you're a nerd. The other is that you're an l33t poster. I prefer the latter.

  6. #66
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    Don't feel bad
    Thanks for the hug, but did you read the parenthesis that came immediately after?

    (I use my unemployed status to rationalize my post count. Don't ask me how I rationalize my unemployed status. )

  7. #67
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Speaking of Jennifer where is a good F to T translator when you need one?!? I thought I was saying just about everything you put in the last post.
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  8. #68
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    Thanks for the hug, but did you read the parenthesis that came immediately after?
    Actually, I did, and then removed the hug to avoid confusion. (Apparently too late.)

    (I use my unemployed status to rationalize my post count. Don't ask me how I rationalize my unemployed status. )
    How can you afford Internet access if you're unemployed?

  9. #69
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    Actually, I did, and then removed the hug to avoid confusion. (Apparently too late.)
    Gotcha!

    How can you afford Internet access if you're unemployed?
    The way your mind works cracks me up.

    I can afford it because I haven't been unemployed very long and because I am a good credit risk on paper. (We'll see how reality turns out. )

  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    Speaking of Jennifer where is a good F to T translator when you need one?!? I thought I was saying just about everything you put in the last post.
    lol yeah, Ivy's often pretty good at that too.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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