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View Poll Results: do you feel you have fulfilled your parents' expectations/wishes?

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  • yes, almost 100% !

    3 7.69%
  • pretty good,..about 70%-80% of 'em!

    11 28.21%
  • not really,..only about 30%-40% only!

    13 33.33%
  • still not, or perhaps never will! it's just damn hard!..

    12 30.77%
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  1. #11
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    if your parents expect you to be a certain person and make certain choices, they're probably dicks. My parents never gave me an expectation (other than be respectful, good, etc.). Why would they?

  2. #12
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Well, I suppose I'm pretty lucky, in that my parents never made me feel like I had to do anything in particular.

    They were not perfect parents by any stretch of the imagination, but I have never felt pressured by them.

    I think they both had hoped I'd be a famous artist by now, but they've always said they just wanted me to do whatever made me happy.

    I think that, more than anything else, they are pleased that I'm a father.

    As far as my parents are concerned, there is no greater accomplishment than raising children.

    I'm not positive about it, but I believe my mother is an INFJ, and that my father is either an ISFJ or ISTJ.

    I am very different from my parents, and I'm not sure they understand me, but they've always been very supportive.
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  3. #13
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    So far i have, i feel like that's going to change after i'm done with school lol

    I'm sure my ESTJ sister has that side covered though :zzz:


    edit: just have to add, that there probably aren't any expectations at all, but i'm still compared to my sister alot i feel

  4. #14
    Senior Member Chunes's Avatar
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    I have completely failed to meet my ESTJ father's expectations, and in fact have inadvertently spat on them and crushed them into the ground with my feet.

    My IxFP mother is wise and flexible, allowing me to set my own expectations.
    "If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see."
    Thoreau

  5. #15
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    NO

  6. #16
    Senior Member Lacey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niki View Post
    I am making this thread, also to see if in general, whether culture plays a huge role in shaping the parents into the 'open-minded' type, or the 'rigid, stern' one.

    btw, Lacey, I've noticed that your "Location" is in Tokyo,
    just wondering, are you an Asian (japanese),
    or from West, but stays in Tokyo?
    I'm an American studying in Tokyo. But I've seen the immense pressure my Japanese friends are under...and I definitely think it's not coming directly from their parents, but the society at large. So, the parents are under pressure too...they don't want their children to face society's scorn. It's a tough situation...

    I'm sorry you feel that pressure. I wish I had something more helpful to say...

  7. #17
    Senior Member niki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saint Kar View Post
    My father actually wanted me to become normal, get good grades and choose to work in a laboratory, but that didn't happen. I became strange, get lower grades and will never be able to work in a laboratory. He doesn't like it, but I don't care. This is just the way things went. If you told anyone what my life would look like right now 6 years ago, no one would have believed it. Things turned out for the worst, even worse than I expected it could be, and we'll all just have to go and live with it.
    do you mean, now that you started not to care to fulfill your father's expectation for you to work in a laboratory,
    now things turned out for the worst?..is it?
    but don't you feel at least happier, because you are now being more true for yourself?
    please correct me if i'm wrong.
    thx.

  8. #18
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niki View Post
    do you mean, now that you started not to care to fulfill your father's expectation for you to work in a laboratory,
    now things turned out for the worst?..is it?
    but don't you feel at least happier, because you are now being more true for yourself?
    please correct me if i'm wrong.
    thx.
    Well, I screwed up everything. I can't (and don't want to) fulfill my father's expectations, but I screwed up other things as well, things that are important to ME. That's pretty frustrating.
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
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  9. #19
    Senior Member scortia's Avatar
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    Everything except getting married and having 2.5 kids.

  10. #20
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I gave a lengthy answer in the same thread in the bonfire...

    I was not given any explicit expectations from my parents and my artistic inclinations were always encouraged. My mom most expresses that she is proud of me when I fulfill family obligations and make my religion a priority. Those are her two biggest values, so career, degree, money, possessions, etc, mean little to her. If she feels I am slipping away from those values, she will guilt trip a little. She also emphasizes self-sacrifice and that sort of thing.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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