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  1. #141
    The Lost One Nico_D's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    I love my ENFP's but damn, they can be a pain in the ass.
    The question is, how does an INFJ who values connection and presence befriend with an ENFP who doesn't take that kind of things as seriously? Do you just keep calling them despite they never call you back? Asking them the same questions over and over until you get an answer - or does that frustrate the ENFP?
    "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd."
    - Bernard Russell

  2. #142
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nico_D View Post
    The question is, how does an INFJ who requires connection and presence befriend with an ENFP who doesn't take that kind of things as seriously?
    I think an INFJ has to be firm about ENFP's tendency to keep things ultra light and make your own needs known. You have to get their attention first and you'll have to tell them that you need connection and presence, probably more than once. It's your call whether you can do that or not but I don't feel they are are totally oblivious to these needs in others. They want connection and presence too but they also want the fun, the flirty, the feels good, man, all at the same time.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  3. #143
    Senior Member aanule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nico_D View Post
    The question is, how does an INFJ who values connection and presence befriend with an ENFP who doesn't take that kind of things as seriously? Do you just keep calling them despite they never call you back? Asking them the same questions over and over until you get an answer - or does that frustrate the ENFP?
    Catch their attention. If I'm interested in a person, they get my full attention... To the detriment of most everything else, in fact. It's very much like the projects I take on, hot and heavy at first and then it wanes.

    If you can keep my interest, you have potential as a partner (not sure that's what you're looking for)... If you can't, into the friend pile you go to be picked back up when I remember I miss you, or you pester me enough to make plans (which I absolutely don't mind).
    "Sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living."
    —Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

  4. #144
    Suave y Fuerte BadOctopus's Avatar
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    I like ENFPs, but I've learned not to lend them any of my belongings, because they always forget to give them back. Always.

    My ENFP best friend has even taken stuff I lent her to Goodwill.
    Likes chubber, Dreamer liked this post

  5. #145
    Senior Member aanule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    I like ENFPs, but I've learned not to lend them any of my belongings, because they always forget to give them back. Always.

    My ENFP best friend has even taken stuff I lent her to Goodwill.
    Also guilty. I know what belongs to who, just actually remembering to return anything never happens. If you show up asking for it, I'll have it though!
    "Sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living."
    —Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
    Likes BadOctopus liked this post

  6. #146
    Senior Member Rambling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aanule View Post
    Catch their attention. If I'm interested in a person, they get my full attention... To the detriment of most everything else, in fact. It's very much like the projects I take on, hot and heavy at first and then it wanes.

    If you can keep my interest, you have potential as a partner (not sure that's what you're looking for)... If you can't, into the friend pile you go to be picked back up when I remember I miss you, or you pester me enough to make plans (which I absolutely don't mind).
    And of course, there's the aura of mystery which emanates naturally from an INTJ in the presence of an ENFP...

  7. #147
    Senior Member aanule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rambling View Post
    And of course, there's the aura of mystery which emanates naturally from an INTJ in the presence of an ENFP...
    You mean the aloofness?? Good lord, it drives me mad. Just be straightforward, god damn it... There's only so much testing you can do before I just start ignoring you altogether because you're too much trouble.
    "Sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living."
    —Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

  8. #148
    Senior Member Rambling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aanule View Post
    You mean the aloofness?? Good lord, it drives me mad. Just be straightforward, god damn it... There's only so much testing you can do before I just start ignoring you altogether because you're too much trouble.
    No, I didn't mean aloofness. I'm pretty straightforward, I think. The only real problem I have with ENFP in real life is that they'd get all my secrets out of me in record quick time if I don't keep some measure of distance.

  9. #149
    Senior Member aanule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rambling View Post
    No, I didn't mean aloofness. I'm pretty straightforward, I think. The only real problem I have with ENFP in real life is that they'd get all my secrets out of me in record quick time if I don't keep some measure of distance.
    Maybe that's it... But I've known some super aloof INTJ's I had to puzzle information out of, like they were making me work for the privilege of learning about them. Defense mechanism makes sense.
    "Sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living."
    —Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

  10. #150
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rambling View Post
    And of course, there's the aura of mystery which emanates naturally from an INTJ in the presence of an ENFP...
    Helps if you crack open a window.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

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