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Thread: INFJ Rage?

  1. #41
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Yes, Solitary, we understand that you feel these threads have gotten ridiculous. I can agree with you on some of them. On the other hand, in this particular thread, I think it is helpful for the people dealing with INFJs that they don't understand to have a chance to ask some questions (just as I've found the Ask An ESTJ thread invaluable). There are enough people who have expressed similar experiences that while it may not describe every INFJ ever, it is a common enough thought pattern that it is of some value to those who don't instantly recognize and understand it. I think the more appropriate place for your response is in a place like, "INFJs, do you love cats?".
    I am skeptical. I don't know how common enough the pattern is that can truly be attributed to type. Yes, I do see that you're onto something as people who type themselves as INFJs seem to be able to identify with one another on a lot of things, but I doubt that this is because of their type. It seems to me that the pattern should be attributed to how reserved and emotionally sensitive people behave. I don't think someone needs to be an INFJ to be able to identify with that, a lot of people who call themselves INFPs, ISFJs and even ENFPs may identify. Possibly even genuine Ts who had an upbringing that emphasized artistic pursuits and taking care of others could also identify with the traits that we equate with INFJs.

    Anyhow, most people who think they are INFJs think so because they took a test which asked them if they are sensitive, perfectionistic and reserved. Since they answered yes to most of those, they figured they are INFJs. Yet if the truth be told, an ENTJ who was raised by artists and a church community could easily see himself as a sensitive, reserved and a perfectionist person in his early to mid 20s. It is not natural for him to develop those qualities, but nonetheless he could identify with them not because of his type or temperament but because of his extra-typological personal experiences.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

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  2. #42
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    True, but if the thread is useful to sensitive, emotionally reserved people (who identify as INFJs) as well as any other folks who also are sensitive and emotionally reserved, why is a problem for people to discuss it? I'm just uncertain as to why it would matter. Is it the lack of precision and haphazard categorization of these traits as INFJ?

  3. #43
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    True, but if the thread is useful to sensitive, emotionally reserved people (who identify as INFJs) as well as any other folks who also are sensitive and emotionally reserved, why is a problem for people to discuss it? I'm just uncertain as to why it would matter. Is it the lack of precision and haphazard categorization of these traits as INFJ?
    I don't think its a problem. Its one question whether a statement is true or false and whether its problematic or beneficial to our community is another. I have nothing to say about the second question, my remarks are exclusively about the first.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

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    My blog: www.randommeanderings123.blogspot.com/

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    INFJ ='s Polar extreme..

    So intelligent .. yet drowning in their own emotions..

    So much narcissism.. yet so much empathy
    So much warmth.. yet so much distance
    So much Love .. but even more anger when things don't go their way..

    INFJ rage??.. from where I stand.. I have never ever had a lover lose their manners in an argument or disagreement.. Until I dared love an INFJ..
    Their rage at being disappointed by their lover is like nuclear fire..
    It lays to waste all that most hold dear..

  5. #45
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    Okay, so most of my mom's arguments with me go:


    Mom monologue: uhm, like, I like to pent up my anger, and then I say it is fine, but then I expect you to KNOW when I am mad, and then I YELL AND YELL AND YELL and even if you are quiet I YELL because YOU DON'T KNOW WHY I AM MAD even though I just told you!???!?!??!?!!


    WHAT?!
    YOU SHOULD KNOW WHY----

    NO! I know YOU KNOW WHY I AM MAD! THAT ISN'T THE POINT!

    The POINT is YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I AM MAD!

    am I making myself clear?

    DID I MENTION I WAS ANGRY!???

    *smirks and acts all calm when really she is fuming on the inside*

    *is happy that I am glaring*

    *yells some more*

    *calms down*

    *leaves*

    I say something under breath.

    Repeat.


    Repeat again.



    hides






    Mom comes back

    Repeat until out of breath


    and then....





    [Add]: The gist is, my INFJ mom expects me to know why she is mad, even though I already know. And I tell her why. And then she ignores what I say and continues to monologue. So that means either she is REALLY quiet and won't speak about her 'bad negative feelings' or she is attacking me with them, because I was supposed to know how she was feeling/thinking EVEN THOUGH I ask.

    *glares at mother whose lap she is currently sitting in*


    Double add: I just read the OP. My mom does the same thing. I should follow the advice in this thing.
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antimony View Post
    Okay, so most of my mom's arguments with me go:


    Mom monologue: uhm, like, I like to pent up my anger, and then I say it is fine, but then I expect you to KNOW when I am mad, and then I YELL AND YELL AND YELL and even if you are quiet I YELL because YOU DON'T KNOW WHY I AM MAD even though I just told you!???!?!??!?!!


    WHAT?!
    YOU SHOULD KNOW WHY----

    NO! I know YOU KNOW WHY I AM MAD! THAT ISN'T THE POINT!

    The POINT is YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I AM MAD!

    am I making myself clear?

    DID I MENTION I WAS ANGRY!???

    *smirks and acts all calm when really she is fuming on the inside*

    *is happy that I am glaring*

    *yells some more*

    *calms down*

    *leaves*

    I say something under breath.

    Repeat.


    Repeat again.



    hides






    Mom comes back

    Repeat until out of breath


    and then....


    ....................

  7. #47
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    que?
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

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    Quote Originally Posted by Antimony View Post
    que?
    Just sounds a bit too familiar.. I wasn't "d'ohing " you.. I was D'ohing the behavior you describe..

  9. #49
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SolitaryWalker View Post
    Anyhow, most people who think they are INFJs think so because they took a test which asked them if they are sensitive, perfectionistic and reserved. Since they answered yes to most of those, they figured they are INFJs. Yet if the truth be told, an ENTJ who was raised by artists and a church community could easily see himself as a sensitive, reserved and a perfectionist person in his early to mid 20s. It is not natural for him to develop those qualities, but nonetheless he could identify with them not because of his type or temperament but because of his extra-typological personal experiences.
    Self-conception is a crucial aspect, but I think it also works the other way round.
    To give an example from Keirsey's book: "Are you typically more a person of a) clear reason b) strong feeling?" Now, it all depends on self-conception. A person could for example chose b) not only because decisions are in fact based on strong feeling, but also because he or she is usually more inclined to use reason - but less consciously, since it's the normal course of events, so deviations from such a pattern tend to be much more conscious. I think this applies to a lot of questions that require to assess one's 'typical' behavior in a certain way.
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

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  10. #50
    Senior Member scortia's Avatar
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    Most of my raging doesn't come out unless it's with people I know well. I'm sure that assists in the build-up. I let bad things go for way too long before I speak up, then I don't tackle many things head on because... well... I have my dad's genes and that means punching things makes me let out aggression (not so good). So a few people get a lot of built up anger when they push me the wrong way.

    For instance, my mother is practically my complete opposite. ESFP. She has a way of being anal and judgmental about every little insignificant thing. So, if I've been holding back a lot of anger, then I'm with her and just know she's going to be judgmental for no reason... I just wait for it. It happens and I blow up on her. Then this only escalates in that she has no idea why I'm upset. One of our last fights was when I took her with me to look at furniture. I was eager about one table and she automatically told me how it sucked and wouldn't work immediately upon walking in. She does that sort of thing all the time, and always has, and yet I still rage because she doesn't get how her negative attitude really brings me down and always has (she didn't help my self esteem). So in the end, most fights are 90% of me being upset over how EVERY fight never deals with the root of the problem. Mom thinks I'm still concerned over the stupid freaking table and I'm upset with how she still just "doesn't get" what I've been trying to tell her for years...

    I wish I was still medicated so things like this wouldn't bother me anymore. X_x

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