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Thread: Identity Crisis

  1. #1
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Default Identity Crisis

    Story of my life. I think I'm an ENFP. I've never been sure.

    I've socially stumbled around throughout my grade school experiences. Going from group to group and trying to be one of them, but it always crumbles.

    I talk to my friend about it sometimes, and he asked me if I thought I was sitting behind an empty mask, and I didn't know how to answer. Maybe I'm in denial.

    How does one (most likely an ENFP) go about finding himself? Does my identity lie in that I will never be one of them? Is this complete freedom/individuality? Yes I am type 4.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Story of my life. I think I'm an ENFP. I've never been sure.

    I've socially stumbled around throughout my grade school experiences. Going from group to group and trying to be one of them, but it always crumbles.

    I talk to my friend about it sometimes, and he asked me if I thought I was sitting behind an empty mask, and I didn't know how to answer. Maybe I'm in denial.

    How does one (most likely an ENFP) go about finding himself? Does my identity lie in that I will never be one of them? Is this complete freedom/individuality? Yes I am type 4.
    One answer is that you find [out] more [about] of yourelf as you get older, have more experiences, etc. I think people can have identity criseses at many point sin their life, not just one when they are younger and forming their identity. There are always levels within levels.

    Know that however you are now, probably some of it will stay with you, and some, quite possibly most of it, will change over time. Much is situational. Worrying about finding yourself probably wont help anything.

    Spend time figuring out what is important to you, what your values are, what your beliefs and priorities are.

  3. #3
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    Why do you ask?
    Make no mistake, I'm actually quite serious with this question (and want to express my sympathy ).
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

    -τὸ γὰρ γράμμα ἀποκτέννει, τὸ δὲ πνεῦμα ζῳοποιεῖ-

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Story of my life. I think I'm an ENFP. I've never been sure.

    I've socially stumbled around throughout my grade school experiences. Going from group to group and trying to be one of them, but it always crumbles.

    I talk to my friend about it sometimes, and he asked me if I thought I was sitting behind an empty mask, and I didn't know how to answer. Maybe I'm in denial.

    How does one (most likely an ENFP) go about finding himself? Does my identity lie in that I will never be one of them? Is this complete freedom/individuality? Yes I am type 4.
    I hit a huge bout of depression in late teens, hated, wrote, rebelled. What you are is all in there, it just rarely gets a chance to come out when you are adapting. At first I had to write knowing no one would ever read it. It meant it felt safe to be completely honest, and I didn't feel like I was destroying anything. After a while I started to see I disagreed with a lot that I'd been brought up on. ENFPs are made to have their own ideas, see reality for themselves. There is that urge to conform though. The urge is slightly misplaced, because you don't need to conform, more be accepted. I think it was realising that conforming made me less effective that got me to change. If you believe it is best case to conform and that it is what helps people the most and helps you connect the most, it can be hard to do different. It is just hard to know where the limits are if you start opening up. There is a lot of honest analysis and reality inside most ENFPs before the friendly judgement. Expression isn't damaging, especially if it has positive effects. I almost wish I'd hung around with ENFPs, INFJs and INFPs at school more and got more into the arts.

    That was sort of a mess of stuff, but if you want advice, I'd say being open and yourself is the best way, as difficult as it is. Most people can be quite accepting, though there are obviously some bad choices. It sets you with a bit more confidence to be yourself also. ENFPs have good intent, but we aren't really built to be conservative. It is just a conflict we get in, where we feel we will harm things if we aren't. Playing it safe maybe. I used to be the moderating influence when it came to stupidity. These days I'm generally the one who drags the INTJs and other NTs in my friendship group past the line of no return. There is only one worse and he is either an NFP or SFP. The best reason I can give for being more open, is you have no identity to distinguish you from others if you just adapt. You end up being sidekick, and add nothing but support to the group. All of the really good parts that people should love you for they miss seeing. On some level ENFPs are complex, creative, deep, intelligent, clear thinking. All these sound a lot better than nice and helpful. And it isn't that bad to stuff up and hurt someone occasionally. Living and not hurting anyone is like training for a sport without any pain or risk. If you stay on your feet and cruise all day, you haven't learnt anything or pushed yourself. Feel free to dig into and dissect all the things you feel you should agree with but really don't feel comfortable with also. It helps you learn when to trust your intuition.

    I also took up more stuff I liked, and broke off from friends who lead me in directions I didn't want to go. Stood up for what I disagreed with a bit, and tried not to side with injustice. That can help a lot, cos I work better when life is enjoyable and has meaning.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Phoenix_400's Avatar
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    Self-reflection. Introspection. Life experience. Hard times.

    Ask yourself hard questions. What do you enjoy when no one else is around? What do you believe? Why do you believe it? What would you do with your life if nothing or no-one could stop you?

    Question everything and find the answers that are true for you. Try new things and let experience be your guide. Step into the fire of life and be forged or shattered by it. Come out stronger, or pick up the pieces and try again.
    "People in glass houses shouldn't use Windex when living near bird sanctuaries."- myself

    "We are never alone my friend. We are constantly in the company of victories, losses, strengths and weaknesses. Make no mistake, life is war...and war is hell. Those who fight the hardest will suffer the most...but that's what you have to do: Fight. As long as you're feeling pain, then there's hope...because only the dead do not suffer." -RD Metcalf
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    aren't u in high school dood?

    find urself in college brah!

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Modern Nomad View Post
    aren't u in high school dood?

    find urself in college brah!
    +1
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

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