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  1. #1

    Default Dual NF/T Conflict and Paralysis

    Someone touched lightly upon this in a thread, but no one continued the topic.

    When someone tests typically or identifies as xNT/Fx, do they experience such conflict between T/F that he or she often feels unfulfilled, paralyzed, dissatisfied with their perceived lack of successes? I remember seeing this on a forum at least a week ago, perhaps more by searching INT/FJ or INTJ/INFJ on Google.

  2. #2
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    I'm pretty conflicted between T/F at times. I don't really feel a strong dissatisfaction with lack of success, but that's because I'm usually working towards both kinds of goals reasonably well. If I weren't, I probably would feel sort of unfulfilled.

    INxJ's are often confused, because their T/F are close together, in case you're curious.

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    I'm right on the fence with my T/F, but my natural use of Ti over Te & use of Fe over Fi seem to cement me as an INFJ.

    I do feel a dissatisfaction with lack of success because I've been working in a field (management) that drains me. I'm also a perfectionist to the utmost degree so I am chronically dissatisfied to an extent. I think both INTJ & INFJ share this feeling - is it a Ni thing? However, I gain satisfaction from working towards and achieving goals - which I am constantly doing - so I suppose in a way I'm always somewhat satisfied.

    I do seem to struggle between the NT satisfaction of knowledge and the NF satisfaction of helping others. I studied Physics in college & I enjoyed learning as much as I can about a subject. I could potentially be happy continuing on with a Ph.D. However, I have the nagging feeling that I need to impact another's life & I'm ultimately not satisfied unless I am contributing to the good of society, so I'm getting my teaching certificate so I can teach Physics. The problem lies in whether or not teaching a subject is enough to satisfy me. Will I need to continue taking classes to gain more and more knowledge? I think this is where the 45,55 T/F keeps me constantly conflicted.

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    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eternue-MDL View Post
    ... unfulfilled, paralyzed, dissatisfied with their perceived lack of success...
    This haunts me all the time.
    The last time I checked, my T/F was 50/50.
    How does one escape the vicious circle?

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    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Default Hmm...

    I noticed that the postes thus far are INX/TJ. I'm an ENFP but my T/F has always been locked in epic battle (ha) since adolescence. My T and F have been switching on results Since I first started taking the MBTI at age 16/17 (which btw, is an interesting tool but really inaccurate, I think at that age your personality and everything else are practically embryonic compared to who you become by 30, regardless of how grounded or sure of yourself you are at that age).

    I've touched upon this in other threads, but I made a CONSCIOUS decision to embrace my 'F'ness and beyond that, just be more F around 20. Because I mistakenly thought 'T' meant really cold and even argumentative and was scaring people away and my need for people (what I simplistically labelled my F) was in desperate mode.

    I realize looking back, I was an immature/underdeveloped ENXP personality type through my early 20s and it was not simply a problem with a strong T that I was unhappy with.

    I also score right on the cusp 50/50. I don't think it's something that for me will be gaugable through MBTI, I need to integrate it somehow...just trying to figure out how.

    I was wondering specifically what kinds of problems or conflicts everyone else's cusp T/F causes them?

    For me, it's just really impossible to settle on decisions (the N exacerbates this) and my opinions on people generally vacillate wildly even hour to hour. It's calmed down a lot more with general maturity, but I feel even when I'm doing well in life and even-keeled, that things are never settled. I can come up with too many reasons for and against things which is useful, but I seriously cannot figure out what I think?/feel? about things sometimes.

    Does anyone else get that? Or is that a typically NF thing?
    Last edited by CzeCze; 11-04-2007 at 05:06 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eternue-MDL View Post
    I remember seeing this on a forum at least a week ago, perhaps more by searching INT/FJ or INTJ/INFJ on Google.
    This doesn't really relate to me, but I don't have a problem separating T/F tendencies. I think I do have larger issues separating my spiritual and physical side, which are always at battle. Reality v. Fiction.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    I've touched upon this in other threads, but I made a CONSCIOUS decision to embrace my 'F'ness and beyond that, just be more F around 20. Because I mistakenly thought 'T' meant really cold and even argumentative and was scaring people away and my need for people (what I simplistically labelled my F) was in desperate mode.
    I totally relate to you in this matter. I never realized people saw me as cold, arrogant, or standoff-ish until I was told as much at the age of was it 25? I thought I was simply private, said little unless it was worth saying, and thought about what I wanted to say. I am the type of person who grudgingly accepts that I need people then boldly pushes the need for humanity with one another the next.

    For me, it's just really impossible to settle on decisions (the N exacerbates this) and my opinions on people generally vacillate wildly even hour to hour. It's calmed down a lot more with general maturity, but I feel even when I'm doing well in life and even-keeled, that things are never settled. I can come up with too many reasons for and against things which is useful, but I seriously cannot figure out what I think?/feel? about things sometimes.

    Does anyone else get that? Or is that a typically NF thing?
    You could just accept the T/F as being able to think multi-dimensionally. Which brings me to hotmale...

    Quote Originally Posted by hotmale View Post
    This doesn't really relate to me, but I don't have a problem separating T/F tendencies. I think I do have larger issues separating my spiritual and physical side, which are always at battle. Reality v. Fiction.
    That's a bona fide T/F issue. Though, I think because you are an S, you don't see the beauty of the spiritual/physical combination. I think the two are intimately related, not fact and fiction but fact and fact. The only problem with us is that we are incapable of seeing the spiritual side without assistance (by God's Spirit).

    Still...

    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    This haunts me all the time.
    The last time I checked, my T/F was 50/50.
    How does one escape the vicious circle?
    This in particular is my concern. How does one escape the feeling of discontent? I mean, on one hand we know (T) that a life lived and loved (F) has been a success. On the other hand, we believe (F) that a life without some distinguished accomplishment (T) is hollow. To give an example, I despise evolution. It is a humanist/atheist religion's answer to creation as it cannot be proven. Yet, it is taught as fact. Having wanted to be a biochemist, I had to take science courses which integrated evolution into the curriculum even though knowing the facts was sufficient for research such as DNA, its composition, and role in the body. Finally, I lost? interest due to being spoon-fed a world-view incompatible and undesirable to my own. Having graduated with a degree in management, I found myself highly knowledgeable about concept and theory, but in lower levels of management, it is the practical and concrete which contribute most to success. I also became disenfranchised with my understanding of how corporations have become legal entities without the responsibilities that humans have to one another, in effect soulless. So, I find myself desirous of going back to college to pursue a degree in biochemistry but so as to avoid dealing with this theory/social philosophy of evolution on a regular basis, I will likely seek a degree in chemistry. I also love the fact that I will know chemistry and chemical systems while having a hard skill to contribute to the world in times of crisis. Again, I've begun to ramble and meanwhile opened so many cans of worms. I'll re-state what INTJMom so aptly truncated:

    Originally Posted by Eternue-MDL
    ... unfulfilled, paralyzed, dissatisfied with their perceived lack of success...
    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    This haunts me all the time.
    The last time I checked, my T/F was 50/50.
    How does one escape the vicious circle?

  8. #8
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eternue-MDL View Post
    ...This in particular is my concern. How does one escape the feeling of discontent? I mean, on one hand we know (T) that a life lived and loved (F) has been a success. On the other hand, we believe (F) that a life without some distinguished accomplishment (T) is hollow.
    You have stated my struggle beautifully.

    To give an example, I despise evolution. It is a humanist/atheist religion's answer to creation as it cannot be proven. Yet, it is taught as fact. Having wanted to be a biochemist, I had to take science courses which integrated evolution into the curriculum even though knowing the facts was sufficient for research such as DNA, its composition, and role in the body. Finally, I lost interest due to being spoon-fed a world-view incompatible and undesirable to my own.
    That is exactly what would happen to me! I can't think of any subject where I wouldn't be subject to elitist brain-washing, and I know I just couldn't bear it!

    I guess I have been learning to be content with my lot in my little corner of the world, but it is a challenge for me. People do not write books about "how to be average".

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    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
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    Definitely. And at the same time I try to find a balance between both of them. It really depends on the day I'm having or the situation alone is enough for me to decide which one would be better to use.

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