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  1. #1
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    Default NF after a broken relationship?

    How do you feel after a break up?

    Do you jump into another one right away and forget your ex or what?


    lets hear some experiences

  2. #2
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    Man, you are opening up Pandora's Box.

  3. #3
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
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    the only break up I have had was the one where I did the breaking up........ so really I have no idea.......
    ~t ...in need of hugs please...
    Jung Test Results
    Extroverted (E) 63.16% Intuitive (N) 60.53% Feeling (F) 84.38% Perceiving (P) 87.1% ~Your type is: ENFP

  4. #4
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    I tend to drop off the face of the earth - or at least that's what it seems like to my exes. Usually I'll stay in a relationship/situation a bit longer than I should and then something will strike a chord in me & I will completely drop the situation and disappear from their life. Privately, I get sad & analyze every single detail of what went wrong. I usually spiral into full blown self analysis mode as well.

    I tend to start dating again rather quickly once I'm officially done with the last relationship. I do not, however, commit to someone else unless I have a solid connection going so my next "official" boyfriend may happen in a month or a year.

  5. #5

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    I held on to the current one(hopefully getting my stuff back tomorrow! Yeah! and boo...) alot longer than I should have for it being such a short fling. I really enjoyed the feeling of being in a relationship though so I wouldn't be surprised if I found myself in an another one soon.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    When you mentioned in another thread that your ex-gf was an ENFJ and pulling those immature behaviors I was really rather shocked. Even when I was young and experimenting in relationships I don't remember doing anything of that nature-quite the opposite in fact. Once you have been deemed to be unacceptable or that you are better off with out me the transition will be quick and painless. I will try to ease whatever it is you are going through during the adjustment but I will be effectively shut-off from you. The only type I've not dated were NFs and truthfully not many F's. I have broken up with people essentially for the same reason every time: clingy-ness in one form or another. I think this is where I found my home so to speak with the ISTP temperament. I find it intolerable and cannot see myself displaying such behaviors under any circumstances. Knowing myself and that I could have a successful relationship with a wide variety of the temperaments I would never worry about being alone. I would never cling to just one person or really even have regret over breaking up. I am off topic I know so let me get back to it.

    Quote Originally Posted by sakuraba
    How do you feel after a break up?

    Do you jump into another one right away and forget your ex or what?
    I generally feel fine afterwards, usually relieved. Yes I will get into another relationship rather quickly. No I will not forget my ex. The experiences we shared will be used as learning in future relationships. I have taken past experience for example the cues I give that 'hey you are getting in my space' and refine them and give them earlier. I've taken it and even become much more direct. I've also taken the information to learn exactly what I didn't want in a relationship. I generally will not have an ill will towards the person after break-up...only if they cannot 'let go' then it can get ugly after a time if avoidance isn't possible. I have ended up being friends after a time with my ex's and am genuinely happy when they find a good relationship that works for them.
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  7. #7

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    Honestly, I usually break off all contact. It's much easier on me that way. My last relationship, since it was my longest relationship, was different, and we still remain in touch albeit I try to keep him at arm's length knowing it's still gnawing at me if it gets too close. I felt relieved when it was "official" though. I kept it afloat for quite some time, but the relationship required far more energy than I could expend. I was isolating myself well into the second year due to unfulfilled needs, and he was clueless as to why though I wanted for him to so much understand or even try to guess, he did not. It's probably true that NT and NF personalities would be best with one another. Why? My partner would likely have to be able to intuitively put things together from the little hints and nibbles I drop (as I tend to be very private even with a lover - no, it's not typology, it's being selfishly guarded) and would also have to be able to clearly and concisely communicate typically in abstract terms.

  8. #8
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    I went out with an unhealthy xNFx, type 2 or 6. She said I corresponded to her ideal and was already talking about children and marriage. She was very fearful and ambivalent. One day she wanted to commit suicide after I nearly dumped her. Then she made plans to get back with her ex behind my back. All this in the matter of two weeks. When I did dump her, she got back with her ex 1 hour later and told me she always loved him anyway but couldn't face it because he wasn't right "socially".

    I thought all was well but... I have to see her often. She told me also after the breakup, one day, that she would always be attracted to me. I've had conversations to try and ease things out. She is paranoid about everything I do. If I contradict her she thinks I'm "attacking" her. She is constantly irritated by me. She's been spreading gossip. I told her I wanted to be friends but she says it's not true and that I don't like her. Whatever I do, either by polite or ignore her, it's always wrong. If I ignore her she complains to everyone I'm giving her the cold shoulder. If I am nice she complains that I don't really like her.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    ^^^^ I'm a type 2 and yet I can't grasp the mind frame one must get into to act that way. I always expect that other NFs and certainly ENFJs would think like I do. I get proven wrong often. Every time I hear strange stories about ENFJs understanding the idea that they act clingy, and do attention-seeking weirdness is really, really difficult. Ideals for me are in a strange sense pretty flexible. I've never met one human being and thought "this is the one and only one". I am either a weird ENFJ or completely oblivious to what I project to others.
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    I went out with an unhealthy xNFx, type 2 or 6. She said I corresponded to her ideal and was already talking about children and marriage. She was very fearful and ambivalent. One day she wanted to commit suicide after I nearly dumped her. Then she made plans to get back with her ex behind my back. All this in the matter of two weeks. When I did dump her, she got back with her ex 1 hour later and told me she always loved him anyway but couldn't face it because he wasn't right "socially".

    I thought all was well but... I have to see her often. She told me also after the breakup, one day, that she would always be attracted to me. I've had conversations to try and ease things out. She is paranoid about everything I do. If I contradict her she thinks I'm "attacking" her. She is constantly irritated by me. She's been spreading gossip. I told her I wanted to be friends but she says it's not true and that I don't like her. Whatever I do, either by polite or ignore her, it's always wrong. If I ignore her she complains to everyone I'm giving her the cold shoulder. If I am nice she complains that I don't really like her.
    Wipe yourself of her by ignoring her. Tell her bluntly you are ignoring her because it is better than having your niceties being misshapen and twisted. Walk away no matter what she might say or how she responds (or run if she goes postal). Perhaps being isolated from you will make her introspect rather than manipulate you. I feel for you; because while ignoring her seems easy and is the rational thing to do, the emotional residue of conflict is almost tangible and troubling.

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