User Tag List

Results 1 to 9 of 9

  1. #1

    Default What good is a journey if you have no one to share it with?

    I am wondering if other INFJs share my experience, and if other types experience this as well. From what I've read about INFJs it sounds like I could attribute my feeling of loneliness to this.

    Speaking for myself:
    I greatly value my own personal growth. I think this year is the first time I've really embraced and fueled my love for learning, and therefore, learning about myself. I've been devouring books, trying to learn more about politics, philosophy, history, etc. It means a lot to me to delve into these things - in a way it makes me feel alive.

    Although this journey sparks a passion in me, what kills it is the fact that I feel like I have no one to share it with. In short: no one else cares. No one wants to talk about politics, philosophy, history, or deep things (no one I get to regularly hang out with, anyway).

    No one is interested in talking about personality psychology (another of my interests). Friends that I've tried to start conversations about such topics give me that "glazed over" stare and then after an awkward pause, move onto some other topic that (in my opinion) is trivial (usually it involves criticizing people or making fun of them).

    Anyway, since this year is the first in which I've really embraced my journey of self-exploration and self-education, and it's also just recently I got into MBTI and have been reading about my type... sometimes I wonder if this is an honest feeling, or the power of suggestion?

    But judging by how today went, I really think it's an honest feeling.

    The reason why I wonder if this is a prevalent feeling among other INFJs is because as I've been reading about us, I've seen some statements:

    Quote Originally Posted by (from PersonalityCafe.com)
    INFJs, with their complexity, inner-depth and profound intuition, are only approximately 1-2% of the population.
    This can lead to intellectual loneliness. This is partly because finding another person that understands is statistically rare [...] They are bored with lengthy superficial interactions.
    Quote Originally Posted by (the website I got this one from was on Geocities, and Yahoo got rid of Geocities so now it's gone)
    INFJs have a strong love of learning [...] They are likely to enjoy research and will go great lengths to find answers.
    I'm sure this isn't a feeling ONLY experienced by INFJs, so other types please chime in as well. I was just wondering if it's prevalent among this type.

    I'm kind of sad today because I began the day with a passion - I couldn't wait to go get another book and write about how I felt about certain subjects in my journal (dorky? Yes, I know). Then - BAM - a few hours later, I felt utterly alone in my pursuit, and I don't want to do it anymore today.

    I thought, this journey isn't nearly as exciting when there's no one who cares to share it with me... (actually, my mom is an INFP and she loves this stuff, too, so sometimes I get to talk with her about it).
    "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will always long to return."
    - Leonardo da Vinci

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    2,808

    Default

    Awww. INFJs may be rare as a type, but you are even more rare as an individual. There will never be anyone out in the world who can consistently share with you in the exact way that you feel to be real. In that way, we are all alone on our journey, and our personal journey belongs to us alone. But I understand your sentiment, and I've felt much the same way before.

    The topics that interest you are likely interesting to most intuitives on some level or another. But if I remember correctly, intuititives are only about 25% of the population, so you may be hard pressed to find any in many of the environments where you find yourself.

    Have you considered volunteering with a humanitarian organization? Aside from being here, that's how I get my fix.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  3. #3

    Default

    In that way, we are all alone on our journey, and our personal journey belongs to us alone.
    That's true, and somehow it makes me feel a little bit better.

    I've considered trying to find a club on campus or something as an outlet, but as a full-time student I'm hesitant to add more to my plate. But maybe I will peruse the different clubs and give one a try next semester.

    You said you get your "fix" from volunteering with an organization. Is your "fix" (can't think of another word :-p) similar to what I've described above, or what? Just curious as to what drives other people in this arena.
    I don't know if that made sense. I'm really tired.

    (Does everything I've said here and above just sound totally ridiculous? lol I feel kind of like an alien right now

    ...or maybe I just sound all emo and everyone's like
    "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will always long to return."
    - Leonardo da Vinci

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    -1w sp/sx
    Socionics
    IOU Ni
    Posts
    1,028

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by weakshadeofblue View Post
    Although this journey sparks a passion in me, what kills it is the fact that I feel like I have no one to share it with. In short: no one else cares. No one wants to talk about politics, philosophy, history, or deep things (no one I get to regularly hang out with, anyway).
    I definitely know how this feels.

    Quote Originally Posted by weakshadeofblue View Post
    No one is interested in talking about personality psychology (another of my interests). Friends that I've tried to start conversations about such topics give me that "glazed over" stare and then after an awkward pause, move onto some other topic that (in my opinion) is trivial (usually it involves criticizing people or making fun of them).
    Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.
    I can recall being with my friends at a bar one night and they were bitching for about two hours about one of my friends ex-gf who started a relationship with another girl. There I was, sitting in the corner, listening to all that verbal diarrhea (sorry to put it that way) and feeling how my anger slowly built up - after all, he once was together with that girl and really loved her, and there I saw him wondering "what in the world would cause a girl to become a lesbian" :rolli:. All that superficiality and closed-mindedness made me feel really isolated. Not that it's always like this - sometimes when we drive home and there's just the two of us, we can have some very interesting conversations.
    On the whole though, I just think that there are so very few people on my own 'level' (meaning people who have the same perspective or an understanding what I'm talking about and a broad knowledge as well). I always think there have to be more but I just don't know them.
    (By the way, I told that very friend of MBTI recently and made him take an online test (he's an ENTJ - just what I expected ))


    Quote Originally Posted by weakshadeofblue View Post
    Anyway, since this year is the first in which I've really embraced my journey of self-exploration and self-education, and it's also just recently I got into MBTI and have been reading about my type... sometimes I wonder if this is an honest feeling, or the power of suggestion?
    Have you read Fritz Riemann? Back in school, a teacher recommended it to me. It was the thing that got me interested in this whole personality psychology thing in the first place. (Just a suggestion - I have it in German)

    I've been thinking for some time about writing some essays of my own, or just whatever comes to mind. There's a lot of wonderful stuff going in inside my head - I can tell you, I sometimes have really interesting monologues, and I sometimes hear whole pieces of music I want to put on paper (mostly during the day or when in bed before sleep). Every time I want to put something down, it's gone
    Does the same happen to you? Just curious if I'm the only one.

    Regarding the whole knowledge thing:
    I'm a student and currently share an apartment with another guy and a girl. Don't know about the girl, but I suppose the guy must be an SJ of some sorts. It's really amazing (I mean literally) in how few he's interested in. When I don't know something, I feel almost compelled to dig a bit deeper into it. Calling something 'useless knowledge' or 'irrelevant' is an expression I almost never use. He just doesn't bother (though we've gotten along with each other really well for 4 years now - but that lack of curiosity is just one of the things I'll probably never understand).

    Just some of my thoughts on top of your own
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

    -τὸ γὰρ γράμμα ἀποκτέννει, τὸ δὲ πνεῦμα ζῳοποιεῖ-

  5. #5

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Avis
    Have you read Fritz Riemann? Back in school, a teacher recommended it to me. It was the thing that got me interested in this whole personality psychology thing in the first place.
    No, but I'll add it to my list! It sounds very interesting.
    The book that got me into personality psychology is "Snoop" by Sam Gosling. I randomly saw it in Borders and bought it. It's about how you can get a feel of someone's Big Five characteristics by observing someone's home or office environment (how they decorate - or not - etc.). Malcolm Gladwell cited Gosling's work in his book "Blink," too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Avis
    I can recall being with my friends at a bar one night and they were bitching for about two hours about one of my friends ex-gf who started a relationship with another girl.
    ...I do have to be honest and admit that I can gossip just as well as the next girl and do engage in these conversations sometimes too. Just gotta be honest

    Quote Originally Posted by Avis
    I can tell you, I sometimes have really interesting monologues, and I sometimes hear whole pieces of music I want to put on paper (mostly during the day or when in bed before sleep). Every time I want to put something down, it's gone
    Wow, the "whole pieces of music" thing is very impressive. Didn't a famous composer experience that, too? Mozart, maybe?

    Anyway - YES. I experience that. It's really annoying. Mine is generally with the internal monologue as it relates to writing. Once, I had this whole thing going in my head that was funny and heartfelt (in my mind, anyway ) about how everyone just needs someone to listen to them - truly, sincerely, actively listen to them. I planned to blog about it when I got home, then I forgot how I wanted to say things (I still plan on trying to write that down again).

    (By the way, I told that very friend of MBTI recently and made him take an online test (he's an ENTJ - just what I expected ))
    I'm not excessively familiar with ENTJ types (and still learning the details of MBTI as far as the stuff like Ni, Ne, etc. goes)... so why do you say that?

    I suppose the guy must be an SJ of some sorts. It's really amazing (I mean literally) in how few he's interested in. When I don't know something, I feel almost compelled to dig a bit deeper into it. Calling something 'useless knowledge' or 'irrelevant' is an expression I almost never use.
    Same here. My ENFJ friend would always tell me "you're such a researcher!" even before I realized how true it was. That's why I'm on the boards actually - researching more about MBTI .

    If I come across something that really interests me, I will completely submerge myself in it to find out as much information as I can, until I am satisfied (subjects from symbology, to secret societies, to bands I like, like Coldplay - I now know way more than the average person about Coldplay since we went to their concert). I always feel self-conscious about that, because then I generally talk about that subject a lot and feel like people perceive me as this obsessive personality.

    Question: do you really think there's a connection between few interests and SJ types? I'm not so sure... one of my close friends is an ISFJ female and she seems to love learning. Another ISFJ female friend, though, supports your theory - she gives me that blank stare a lot and seems to only have HER interests, and not open to anything else. Very closed.

    My husband is an ISTP, and I'm always astonished at how he seems so apathetic to almost everything (not sure if other ISTPs are like this). I could run up and be like, "A PERSON JUST WALKED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY AND EXPLODED INTO A MILLION BUTTERFLIES THAT WERE EATEN BY A MYSTERIOUS FLYING BEAST THAT JUST APPEARED!"

    And he would be like, "Huh. Cool. I'm gonna go play Call of Duty."
    "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will always long to return."
    - Leonardo da Vinci

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    2,808

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by weakshadeofblue View Post
    That's true, and somehow it makes me feel a little bit better.


    Quote Originally Posted by weakshadeofblue View Post
    I've considered trying to find a club on campus or something as an outlet, but as a full-time student I'm hesitant to add more to my plate. But maybe I will peruse the different clubs and give one a try next semester.
    Is this your first year?


    Quote Originally Posted by weakshadeofblue View Post
    You said you get your "fix" from volunteering with an organization. Is your "fix" (can't think of another word :-p) similar to what I've described above, or what? Just curious as to what drives other people in this arena.
    I don't know if that made sense. I'm really tired.
    Haha, you make complete sense to me. I love to talk/learn/think about the same types of things as you do. I would discretely read college sociology books during classes in middle school. Actually, I never really paid attention in the majority of my classes until high school because I was interested in subject areas that weren't being taught. Fortunately, I had my mother,an EXTJ(pretty sure ENTJ), to get into it with and we would often sit for hours debating whatever topic/s came to either of our minds. I was also lucky in that my best friend is an ENTX, and we've never really run out of things to talk about in 20 years.

    In my experience, humanitarian organizations are the easiest places to find people who like to discuss the topics that you listed. In order to get that "meeting of heart/mind" that you're talking about, I joined political advocacy and service oriented groups when I was in college. So def, when you get some free time, join something along those lines. You will find that a lot of people just join clubs/organizations so that they'll have something to throw on their resume, and they will not remotely be interested in really digging and involving themselves in anything particularly "deep" and intellectually involving. On the other hand, you will also find people just as genuinely passionate about the issues as you are; and when you do, you will likely cease feeling as out of place and alien.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  7. #7

    Default

    No, I'm a junior. This year has just somehow been an "awakening" for me in this respect. I guess I was too distracted with other things beforehand to really delve into myself or something.
    Fortunately, I had my mother,an EXTJ(pretty sure ENTJ), to get into it with and we would often sit for hours debating whatever topic/s came to either of our minds.
    I can do that with my mom, too! She's an INFP. So, this is making sense as far as your theory that it's the N preference that brings this about in people. I love talking with my mom about all sorts of topics, and she's a very creative, out-of-the-box thinker, so she brings other perspectives to the table as well.

    A humanitarian organization is something I'll have to consider! A friend of mine from school started an Objectivists club (philosophy of Ayn Rand, "Atlas Shrugged") and after reading "We the Living" by Rand, I thought I might want to try out that club, since I really enjoyed talking to my friend about these topics. I liked what I knew about Objectivism as it applies politically and economically, but not in other areas, and my friend told me I wouldn't really be "accepted" in that club because I'm a Christian, and "you can't really be an Objectivist and a Christian." Which makes sense, knowing about philosophy. He wasn't mean about it or anything - he was really nice - but I was disappointed that I apparently couldn't fit in there, either.
    I thought that the minds that gravitate to that club would have very interesting conversations.

    Political advocacy sounds like something I could definitely enjoy being a part of! Right now I don't feel like I'm politically knowledgeable enough to commit to a certain cause yet... that's part of this personal journey, is discovering where I stand on things through research. Hmmm

    Thank you so much (both of you) for talking to me about this! I really appreciate your thoughts and insights and methods of "coping."
    "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will always long to return."
    - Leonardo da Vinci

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #8
    the Dark Prophet of Kualu
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    RAD
    Posts
    860

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by weakshadeofblue View Post
    A humanitarian organization is something I'll have to consider! A friend of mine from school started an Objectivists club (philosophy of Ayn Rand, "Atlas Shrugged") and after reading "We the Living" by Rand, I thought I might want to try out that club, since I really enjoyed talking to my friend about these topics. I liked what I knew about Objectivism as it applies politically and economically, but not in other areas, and my friend told me I wouldn't really be "accepted" in that club because I'm a Christian, and "you can't really be an Objectivist and a Christian." Which makes sense, knowing about philosophy. He wasn't mean about it or anything - he was really nice - but I was disappointed that I apparently couldn't fit in there, either.
    I thought that the minds that gravitate to that club would have very interesting conversations.
    Wouldn't it be possible that they would accept you because you are christian and still find objectivism an interesting philosphy?

    I don't have much else to say on the subject, I just recently (now) took an interest to objectivism although I've been researching it on my own without the knowledge of a written down theory.
    Open for interpretation.
    Jo
    Fell for the temptation: Nohari / Johari

  9. #9

    Default

    I'm sure they would let me come to meetings :-p. He just said that I couldn't be a "true Objectivist" and that I "wouldn't really be accepted." It's okay though.
    "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will always long to return."
    - Leonardo da Vinci

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

Similar Threads

  1. [SJ] What if you have no love language (receiving)?
    By Jstrazz in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-16-2014, 01:17 PM
  2. Replies: 106
    Last Post: 07-15-2013, 09:30 PM
  3. What if you have too many wants?
    By xisnotx in forum Academics and Careers
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-02-2012, 10:57 PM
  4. Replies: 37
    Last Post: 11-15-2009, 08:10 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO