User Tag List

View Poll Results: IRL, what's your level of expressiveness of your problems/feelings?

Voters
102. You may not vote on this poll
  • I openly express to nobody, or only if prodded by certain people.

    32 31.37%
  • I openly express to a select few close friends &/or family members.

    56 54.90%
  • I openly express to most of my friends &/or family.

    4 3.92%
  • I openly express to anyone who might offer me some consolation.

    5 4.90%
  • I am not INFP, but I want to vote.

    5 4.90%
123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 54

  1. #1
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default INFPs - Your Openess with Problems/Feelings/etc

    I see a lot on insinuations on this board that INFPs seem to whine to whoever will listen.

    Maybe this is due to that fact that some people use online anonymity to vent safely (true of myself anyway).

    While I can be whiny like anyone, IRL, it's with a very select few people that I am extremely close to. Casual friends hardly know much about me at all aside from the external, and most people complain I keep a wall up. Example: if I am dating someone, no one knows about it. If they do, and it ends, I don't talk about it with female friends like most women do. People try and pry this out of me and I shut them down fast.

    Where do you feel you land when it comes to expressing your problems/feelings with people? Are you very open and looking to talk about it, or does it stay mostly hidden, or somewhere in between?
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #2
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INfp
    Enneagram
    9w1 sp/sx
    Socionics
    INFp None
    Posts
    5,295

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Where do you feel you land when it comes to expressing your problems/feelings with people? Are you very open and looking to talk about it, or does it stay mostly hidden, or somewhere in between?
    There is only one person in real life I'm open with to any degree, and even then it's only 50% of what I really feel.

    I'm trying to work on this. I would complain about small crap that doesn't really matter far too often because I would keep the big crap bottled up. Think of a boiling pot slowly bubbling over. Once the pressure became too much, I would get stupid with who I opened up with, because I needed to talk NOW. That led to several regretful situations.

    TypeC is a safe place to practice openness, because it deals with the written word only. Even though I'll never be super open, I *am* working on becoming smarter about it.

    The other thing I'm working on is not dwelling on the negative. Time spent dwelling on the negative is time that could be spent thinking about the positive.

  3. #3
    Feelin' FiNe speculative's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    LoL
    Posts
    929

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I would complain about small crap that doesn't really matter far too often because I would keep the big crap bottled up. Think of a boiling pot slowly bubbling over. Once the pressure became too much, I would get stupid with who I opened up with, because I needed to talk NOW. That led to several regretful situations.
    I have experience this before. I like the story of the frog placed into a pot of water that is slowly brought to a boil, and it doesn't realize it's being boiled before it's too late; I think that's a good description of the mechanics involved. I think F types that keep it bottled up can easily experience that.
    "How can I be, all I want to be,
    When all I want to do is strip away these stilled constraints
    And crush this charade, shred this sad, masquerade"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGeq5v7L3WM

  4. #4
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w3
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    1,037

    Default

    My closest friends and family know much of what bothers me. But I think I mostly trust the bf right now. If something happens, I know I can talk to him about it. And most of my friends I can do the same with.
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

    My thoughts on...
    Enneagram:
    Socionics:
    MBTI:

    DISCLAIMER: If I offend you, I'm 99.9% sure it's unintentional. So be sure to let me know, m'kay? (And yes, an INFP would stick this in their signature, lol.)

  5. #5
    man-made neptunesnet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5&4 sx
    Socionics
    INFj
    Posts
    1,232

    Default

    I picked the top option.

    In terms of my feelings, personal opinions, and relationships, I am extremely private. I was in a relationship with someone for an entire year, and none of my family or friends except my closest friend knew about it. I wasn't trying to be deceptive (as it was taken when it "got out" somehow). It just never came up, and I didn't really think it was any one else's business. The real problem I have with being open is based on how people perceive me. Some people know me as very nice and kind while some others know me as serious and maybe a little condescending, so I've had people think they know me, but I'll say or do something that distorts the idea they had of me in their heads. I continue to show face to the same people because, in my opinion, if you show that you have some depth then people want to pry. I hate when people pry! Not with me. I am very tight-lipped.

    A friend of mine (inFJ) who I've known for about five years now said once that I was like an open book since I'm "so amicable and so many people like [me]." Ironically, she's never been over to my place nor does she know anything substantial about me. Might I add that my home is like my sanctuary, and I have a serious problem with people invading my space .

    It's probably my own fault, though.
    I wear masks* in public, at school, at work to conceal myself. Poor habit.
    But this may all be an introvert thing.


    *Those were figurative masks, by the way .
    Last edited by neptunesnet; 11-21-2009 at 12:21 PM.

  6. #6
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    986

    Default

    Hmm, looks like so far I'm the first to choose option 4, so I guess I have to explain a bit

    To me, anyone who might offer consolation means I know that person well enough to believe that he/she will be able to understand my problem. I don't seek agreement or even solutions. All I need is some understanding and a place to vent my frustrations.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Lacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    401

    Default

    I usually only talk to a few close friends or family members (but maybe my family less and less, because lately they are the problem).

    I split my problems up between people, too. One friend gets problem A, another friend gets emotions B, and maybe my mom gets dilemma C. I feel bad throwing everything onto one person, I guess.

    I think people get the impression that I'm open, but that's probably because I will share only certain things with everyone else. However, these are problems that have already been resolved...I'm not going to let the general public know about my issues unless they're over and done with and I have something to show for them (personal growth or whatever), and I'm fairly emotionally neutral about them now.

  8. #8
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 so/sp
    Posts
    2,912

    Default

    I picked the top option also .

    Quote Originally Posted by Lacey View Post
    I usually only talk to a few close friends or family members (but maybe my family less and less, because lately they are the problem).

    I split my problems up between people, too. One friend gets problem A, another friend gets emotions B, and maybe my mom gets dilemma C. I feel bad throwing everything onto one person, I guess.

    I think people get the impression that I'm open, but that's probably because I will share only certain things with everyone else. However, these are problems that have already been resolved...I'm not going to let the general public know about my issues unless they're over and done with and I have something to show for them (personal growth or whatever), and I'm fairly emotionally neutral about them now.


    Its strange because I don't really think about this stuff much - my reactions/coping mechanisms in this area are kind of on auto-pilot. If you asked me in an off-hand manner, I would say I'm an somewhat open person, but with serious consideration, I am really very private. I think what I considered to be 'openess' is really artlessness and the ease with which I'm able speak about my opinions and personal responses to the world around me. However, I express very edited, censored and understated versions of my true feelings. No one really gets to see the real me. Some of my close friends and family get rare tiny glimpses but even these I usually regret giving. When I do open up (that small amount) they either dismiss it or fret about it - they just don't get it. No one has the slightest clue about how to cope with it and I end up feeling like an idiot. For this reason, I see little point in opening up. I feel like the only person that can truly understand and solve my problems is me. I might as well spare others the burden of knowledge and myself, the anguish of sharing.

  9. #9
    Level 8 Propaganda Bot SpankyMcFly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    461 so/sx
    Posts
    2,396

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I see a lot on insinuations on this board that INFPs seem to whine to whoever will listen.

    Maybe this is due to that fact that some people use online anonymity to vent safely (true of myself anyway).

    While I can be whiny like anyone, IRL, it's with a very select few people that I am extremely close to. Casual friends hardly know much about me at all aside from the external, and most people complain I keep a wall up. Example: if I am dating someone, no one knows about it. If they do, and it ends, I don't talk about it with female friends like most women do. People try and pry this out of me and I shut them down fast.

    Where do you feel you land when it comes to expressing your problems/feelings with people? Are you very open and looking to talk about it, or does it stay mostly hidden, or somewhere in between?
    I would say I'm pretty open about expressing my problems/feeling with the people that are directly involved. If this is not feasible or is counter productive I then decide if its worth my time to keep thinking about. Assuming it is, I do not talk to just anyone. I talk to my friends to get their input on tough issues.

    If I'm trying to help someone I will discuss anything and everything about my past resolved issues. In this manner I offer up my experiences as a guinnea pig for others to dissect to remove any fear of judgement/criticism from me. It's ironic that when I do this, people then state the real issue.
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... Some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age. " - H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #10
    man-made neptunesnet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5&4 sx
    Socionics
    INFj
    Posts
    1,232

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    If you asked me in an off-hand manner, I would say I'm an somewhat open person, but with serious consideration, I am really very private. I think what I considered to be 'openess' is really artlessness and the ease with which I'm able speak about my opinions and personal responses to the world around me. However, I express very edited, censored and understated versions of my true feelings. No one really gets to see the real me. Some of my close friends and family get rare tiny glimpses but even these I usually regret giving. When I do open up (that small amount) they either dismiss it or fret about it - they just don't get it. No one has the slightest clue about how to cope with it and I end up feeling like an idiot. For this reason, I see little point in opening up. I feel like the only person that can truly understand and solve my problems is me. I might as well spare others the burden of knowledge and myself, the anguish of sharing.

    Yeah, this.

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] INFPs, how much do you feel similars with ESFPs?
    By Speed Gavroche in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 06-14-2016, 03:27 AM
  2. [INFP] INFPs and listening to problems
    By Leanne_92 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 05-05-2016, 03:24 PM
  3. [INFP] How To Get An INFP To Sleep With You
    By *poke* in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 49
    Last Post: 02-07-2011, 11:00 AM
  4. [INTP] INTPs - Your Openness with Feelings/Problems/Etc
    By Orangey in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 12-19-2009, 10:29 PM
  5. [INFP] Can INFP's trust their intuition/feelings?
    By rainoneventide in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 08-22-2009, 03:05 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO