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View Poll Results: IRL, what's your level of expressiveness of your problems/feelings?

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  • I openly express to nobody, or only if prodded by certain people.

    32 31.37%
  • I openly express to a select few close friends &/or family members.

    56 54.90%
  • I openly express to most of my friends &/or family.

    4 3.92%
  • I openly express to anyone who might offer me some consolation.

    5 4.90%
  • I am not INFP, but I want to vote.

    5 4.90%
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Results 31 to 40 of 54

  1. #31
    Senior Member Parrish's Avatar
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    It really depends on the situation. I`ve got a few close friends and a great family I know I can confide in or turn on if I have a problem, but I prefer not to. It`s not that I would think it makes me weak to depend on others it`s just that I want to sort it out myself. If I think about it and still don`t know what to do I`ll ask for the advice myself, otherwise I won`t. I take my time in sorting out my thought and feelings. Sometimes my family snaps at me because of that and I`m provoked into telling what`s troubling me. I dislike people who tend to complain over every little thing out loud, it`s not like it helps and it`s bad energy. Of course keeping it all in bottled up isn`t good either, so when I feel overwhelmed I usually write it down in my moleskine. But it does feel good when someone just listens to what you have to say, without intrerupting you and saying unnecessary things.

    I`m a sceptic when it comes to strangers, I usually think they have a hidden motive for asking personal questions. It takes time and patience until I really trust someone enough to confide in. It`s pretty ironic, cuz people tend to like to confide in me.

    ~I picked the second option because I do express my feelings/thoughts openly when I feel like it. I`m more open with my agreement/disagreements.
    .:"Claude os, aperi oculos.":.

    "You can't give up hope just because it's hopeless, you have to hope even harder and cover your ears and go 'lalalalalalala'"- Fry (Futurama)

  2. #32
    Junior Member Clydesdale's Avatar
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    I'm definitely the kind to only confide with a few key people if prodded. I tend to feel like everyone else around me has it worse/harder, so I just bottle up and try to cope. Of course, that sometimes ends with passive aggressive snarky comments or exploding into tears when I hold it in for too long. Working on that...

    Another reason I tend to hold things in is that I feel like I'm surrounded by S-types who have, historically, not really understood me. I just got back together with some favorite college friends before Christmas, and it was nice to be in touch with people who knew where I was coming from, but now that I'm back from that, I'm back to feeling like a bit of an outsider.

  3. #33
    Member songofcalamity's Avatar
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    my feelings and problems? my sister is the only one who gets to see the full extent of my emotional capacity and all.

    whereas as for close friends, it's either they ask (if they are perceptive enough) or i just say a little bit of this and there.

    strangers/acquaintances/normal friends: well if they do ask, i will say... but you know just those shallow on the cover words or i choose to tell them the things that i know if that they use it on me, it wouldn't/doesn't hurt me.

  4. #34
    Member Phenix's Avatar
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    There are a select few people to whom I will open up completely. Funny thing is I don't choose them. If I feel comfortable, or there is a chemistry, then BOOM, you get all of me.

    Sometimes this is a little scary.

  5. #35

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    This makes me wonder. What is the difference between an INFP/INFJ on this issue? I have close friends that are INFP. I find them much easier to deal with than my INFJ friends. I love all of them, but INFP's are as sweet as they come and seem to open up quite easily.
    "We ascribe beauty to that which is simple; which has no superfluous parts; which exactly answers its end; which stands related to all things; which is the mean of many extremes." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  6. #36
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheMonocle View Post
    This makes me wonder. What is the difference between an INFP/INFJ on this issue? I have close friends that are INFP. I find them much easier to deal with than my INFJ friends. I love all of them, but INFP's are as sweet as they come and seem to open up quite easily.
    I don't have a huge sample size, but I have a feeling INFJs tend to solve their problems by talking about them. Or at least more so than INFPs. So they might come off as more "whiny"... Although, I do believe that they are careful about who they talk to.

  7. #37

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    Hmmm that seems simple enough, but... How do INFPs handle their problems when they are alone? That might highlight the difference better.
    "We ascribe beauty to that which is simple; which has no superfluous parts; which exactly answers its end; which stands related to all things; which is the mean of many extremes." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheMonocle View Post
    How do INFPs handle their problems?
    Lots and lots of internal dialogue which results in either a change in life style or life philosophy. At least that's what I do.

  9. #39

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    Ok... I need your help. If you are willing. My j/p score is 50/50. Common problem with us it seems. I test sometimes on both sides. I don't like to talk about things. It feels uncomfortable to me. I have a tendency when I do to sound overly sentimental/melancholy and I don't want to push that on people. I hear myself and it's like nails on a chalkboard. Quiet... quiet, research and writing. That I can handle. Plus, when I actually do open up it gushes. I'm very self-conscious of this.
    "We ascribe beauty to that which is simple; which has no superfluous parts; which exactly answers its end; which stands related to all things; which is the mean of many extremes." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheMonocle View Post
    I don't like to talk about things. It feels uncomfortable to me.
    You mean with anyone? And about problems that are ongoing or solved? Myself, I usually don't talk about my problems, but feel a need to do so. Sometimes, when asked for by someone I trust, I will talk, but how much depends on how much I trust them and how much they already know. It's not like I want to be secretive, I think it is more like you said, I don't want to dump my shit on other people. I know that I am ultimately the one to solve any problem I am having. And I'm not looking for answers when I talk. It is more like a release of pressure.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheMonocle View Post
    Plus, when I actually do open up it gushes. I'm very self-conscious of this.
    Yeah, sounds familiar. This is a tricky thing, since there really are risks in opening up, but there are also great rewards. It seems that it is best to not give anyone too much to chew on, even if they are genuinely interested in it. The problem is with interpretations. You give them a lot and they are sure to filter it somehow and that leads to misunderstandings. On top of that, how can you even get these things to words, and how can you expect anyone to decipher the words into the same idea? I have screwed up many times pouring out too much on people.

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