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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace View Post
    The truth can be uglier than any insult. I really don't want to do it. I'll just shout at the computer monitor for now.

    You're no fun. I was serious. I respect INTP's. I feel like I've got lots of energy and clarity after I listen to one talk for awhile about all kinds of interesting stuff. I have a mind full of all sorts of questions about the world and the universe. INTP's always seem to have the answers I need to understand.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace View Post
    So back to the question. What do you want?

    Well, what do INTP's really think of INFP's? Do you like us? Are we as interesting as we think you are?

  3. #33
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by perfectgirl View Post


    Well then, isn't this a nice happy chit chat on all that's good and lovely. looks like I'm just the hippy INFP here. Sorries that I love to love and hate to hate. **building a bonfire**

    I don't look back at the bad stuff so I can brood over it and hold a grudge...and why would I? How rediculous. Then I'd be a fraud INFP and an emotional train wreck where I wouldn't be very useful in helping and caring about people.... which is our gift.

    Sure, the past, present and the future are full of obstacles, but nothing we can't go beyond. Good will always wins if I have anything to do with it and I'll go down fighting if I have to. If it kills me, I still win because it was an honorable way to go. No grudge or any amount bad will defeat this INFP. I'm shocked at all my jaded counterparts here. Once an obstacle is a spec in my rear view mirror, I'm over it. Come on guys! What's going on? Did I miss the memo? Jeez, I'm always getting sidetracked.
    Hey, beautiful INFP lady. I get what you're saying. I really really do.

    But this is my weak point, this is my irrational side, and it's part of who I am. I wish I could say I never hold grudges? But lots of us INFPs do. Mostly because we're so trusting, and so willing to help others, that when we're treated badly it's a slap to the face.

    It hurts, because we're not expecting it. We think everyone is as open to healing people and making life better as we are. And that blow to our idealism, and breach of trust, hurts. However long it hurts depends--I'm proud to say I've shortened that span for me--but it's definitely an Achilles's heel for many of us.

    PS: Eww, logic is for NTs!
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

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    DISCLAIMER: If I offend you, I'm 99.9% sure it's unintentional. So be sure to let me know, m'kay? (And yes, an INFP would stick this in their signature, lol.)

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace View Post
    If you want my respect you have to earn it back. There are plenty of people who don't respect you. They say much worse things and there's no chance of ever winning their respect unless you subscribe to their ideology. Do you give them this much of a hard time? Why not?

    Understood. Fair enough. Some INFP's aren't representing us fairly. Making it harder on me to prove myself. I'm up for the challenge. Thank you for your honesty.

  5. #35
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace View Post
    If you want my respect you have to earn it back. There are plenty of people who don't respect you. They say much worse things and there's no chance of ever winning their respect unless you subscribe to their ideology. Do you give them this much of a hard time? Why not?
    Oh, that's no fun. Do I have to spell this out for you? Have you ever subscribed to a magazine you never wanted in the first place? I usually cut out cool advertisements and combine letters to make silly words like, "thought." Why not re-send their magazine, after being completely defaced to the page's designers? Their heart might sink a little because you took their idea they thought was so great and made it look like shit. That's one part of my job anyways. Ask me about the others some time.
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
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  6. #36
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    I don't hold grudges. I will instead find a way to rationalize the behavior of someone else and pretend that it's all okay somehow. consistent problems with another person would lead me to reduce or avoid contact, and forget them. I expend a lot of energy to reduce the perceived/actual stress I experience with conflicts... so, I wouldn't be able to sustain a grudge.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbles View Post
    But this is my weak point, this is my irrational side, and it's part of who I am. I wish I could say I never hold grudges? But lots of us INFPs do. Mostly because we're so trusting, and so willing to help others, that when we're treated badly it's a slap to the face.
    I realize there are different INFP variants.. and, for me, I don't place my trust in a lot of people and I'm not overly interested in helping other people.

  7. #37
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbles View Post
    But this is my weak point, this is my irrational side, and it's part of who I am. I wish I could say I never hold grudges? But lots of us INFPs do. Mostly because we're so trusting, and so willing to help others, that when we're treated badly it's a slap to the face.

    It hurts, because we're not expecting it. We think everyone is as open to healing people and making life better as we are. And that blow to our idealism, and breach of trust, hurts. However long it hurts depends--I'm proud to say I've shortened that span for me--but it's definitely an Achilles's heel for many of us.

    PS: Eww, logic is for NTs!
    I don't think it's illogical. If someone betrays you deeply and/or wrongs you over and over without remorse, why should you restore the friendly feeling? I think most of us are drawing the line at prolonged anger and spite, but to totally forget and even embrace someone who has unrepentantly wronged you can be naive.

    Now, it's different with cases where there's an attempt to make amends, and of course I'm not talking about petty things.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  8. #38
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by file cabinet View Post
    I don't hold grudges. I will instead find a way to rationalize the behavior of someone else and pretend that it's all okay somehow. consistent problems with another person would lead me to reduce or avoid contact, and forget them. I expend a lot of energy to reduce the perceived/actual stress I experience with conflicts... so, I wouldn't be able to sustain a grudge.



    I realize there are different INFP variants.. and, for me, I don't place my trust in a lot of people and I'm not overly interested in helping other people.
    Enneagram type would interest me.

    Also, I was trying to answer and explain the mindset of the INFPs that perfectgirl said were not acting as INFPs should. That was my intention. Mostly by referencing this to make it understandable to her:

    I don't look back at the bad stuff so I can brood over it and hold a grudge...and why would I? How rediculous. Then I'd be a fraud INFP and an emotional train wreck where I wouldn't be very useful in helping and caring about people.... which is our gift.
    I was using it as a tool to explain. Sorry.
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  9. #39
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbles View Post
    Enneagram type would interest me.

    Also, I was trying to answer and explain the mindset of the INFPs that perfectgirl said were not acting as INFPs should. That was my intention.
    There is no "should" in how a personality type should act. I wouldn't subscribe to that belief. Yes INFPs will hold grudges. It depends on how attached they get at who or what they hold the grudge. You can't help that either. (This wasn't an attack, I was just using this post to support my point)

    This is mainly because an INFP's relief function is Si, as pointed out earlier in the thread. Si just naturally happens for them. They will remember and take to heart past offenses if Si takes it's toll. If they stay in this Fi Si mode and if they don't gather new information through Ne, the grudge will probably stick within them.

    Quote Originally Posted by perfectgirl View Post


    Well then, isn't this a nice happy chit chat on all that's good and lovely. looks like I'm just the hippy INFP here. Sorries that I love to love and hate to hate. **building a bonfire**

    I don't look back at the bad stuff so I can brood over it and hold a grudge...and why would I? How rediculous. Then I'd be a fraud INFP and an emotional train wreck where I wouldn't be very useful in helping and caring about people.... which is our gift.

    Sure, the past, present and the future are full of obstacles, but nothing we can't go beyond. Good will always wins if I have anything to do with it and I'll go down fighting if I have to. If it kills me, I still win because it was an honorable way to go. No grudge or any amount bad will defeat this INFP. I'm shocked at all my jaded counterparts here. Once an obstacle is a spec in my rear view mirror, I'm over it. Come on guys! What's going on? Did I miss the memo? Jeez, I'm always getting sidetracked.
    ENFP? This post reeks of disvaluing Si. You like to leave behind the past and start new beginnings, this is pretty Ne. And you also seem to have a very Te attitude as something going on behind the scenes. It would be no wonder why you can't relate to how INFPs function like this.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    There is no "should" in how a personality type should act. I wouldn't subscribe to that belief. Yes INFPs will hold grudges. It depends on how attached they get at who or what they hold the grudge. You can't help that either. (This wasn't an attack, I was just using this post to support my point)
    Damn straight.

    I get so f'in sick and tired, of hearing how INFPs are supposed to act.

    I'm a human being. Not a list of freakin' prescribed behaviors for every situation, depending on my type.

    At this very moment, I am holding a grudge against everyone who thinks INFPs are all cuddly, cry at the drop of a hat, Emo babies.


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