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  1. #1
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    Default INFPs, Ever Tormented By Your Quietness In Situations?

    I've come a long way from complete social ineptitude to being a decent conversationalist, but I find myself listening and thinking a lot more than speaking overall. I can hold a conversation for a long time if its something that interest me, but usually I'm just the guy in the group who doesn't talk and quirps in every now and then. I really don't have a problem with it other then those awkward times when it feels like you should be speaking just to break the silence but I have absolutely no idea what to say.

    Even this year when I thought I had finally completely "broken out of my shell" I had people commenting on how I was the "quiet guy" in the group and I felt like I had been conversating just find with everyone else.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Cypocalypse's Avatar
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    Some good advice I can tell you.

    1. Practice talking light. Leave the sugarcoated rhetoric on your blog site
    2. Practice filler talk, and make that light.
    3. Never EVER EVVVVEERRRRR talk about your worries, and anxieties, unless your talking to an NTP that can rationalize your anxiety for you.
    4. Expand your social network. INFPs tend to keep friends that they think legitimately matters (and weed out those they find worthless). Learn to interact with "filler" acquaintances and stop having initial thoughts on how they'd matter in the long run.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liquid Swordz View Post
    I've come a long way from complete social ineptitude to being a decent conversationalist, but I find myself listening and thinking a lot more than speaking overall. I can hold a conversation for a long time if its something that interest me, but usually I'm just the guy in the group who doesn't talk and quirps in every now and then. I really don't have a problem with it other then those awkward times when it feels like you should be speaking just to break the silence but I have absolutely no idea what to say.

    Even this year when I thought I had finally completely "broken out of my shell" I had people commenting on how I was the "quiet guy" in the group and I felt like I had been conversating just find with everyone else.
    yeah, i can certainly talk, but i can't read. so it doesn't matter what i say here, if my words are incoherent to you, what's the point?

  4. #4
    Senior Member Kastor's Avatar
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    It's strange because I'd also thought that I've been much more talkative than in the past, yet my friends still complain that I rarely talk :/ I don't get it. I feel like I'm talking a lot but I guess I'm not?
    [SIGPIC]http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb37/KamikazePigeonOnFire/untitled-39.jpg[/SIGPIC]

  5. #5
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    i totally relate. unless i'm with people i'm 100% comfortable with, it's just hard for me talk, and i feel like i don't know the right things to say.

    by the way, i love your username (liquid swordz)

  6. #6
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I totally relate to the OP, but you know what, it doesn't bother me to be the "quiet girl" either. I talk more than I used to and I feel I contribute where I can, but in a group, it is still more natural for me to listen and observe. Not everyone can be loud and chattery anyway - someone has to listen to all of it.

    The smaller the group, the more I talk though. If you look around, you'll notice you're not the only one who fades a bit as the group gets larger. The extroverted people seem to become more and more prominent as the number of people go up.


    Quote Originally Posted by Cypocalypse View Post
    3. Never EVER EVVVVEERRRRR talk about your worries, and anxieties, unless your talking to an NTP that can rationalize your anxiety for you.
    What INFP is going to talk about their "worries" in a social situation?
    I hardly talk about that with close friends and family who are trying to pry it out of me.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #7
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cypocalypse View Post
    Some good advice I can tell you.

    1. Practice talking light. Leave the sugarcoated rhetoric on your blog site
    2. Practice filler talk, and make that light.
    3. Never EVER EVVVVEERRRRR talk about your worries, and anxieties, unless your talking to an NTP that can rationalize your anxiety for you.
    4. Expand your social network. INFPs tend to keep friends that they think legitimately matters (and weed out those they find worthless). Learn to interact with "filler" acquaintances and stop having initial thoughts on how they'd matter in the long run.
    Great advice. Especially 3. INFPs that hold conversations like that tend to turn people off from continuing. Or so I've seen.
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

  8. #8
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liquid Swordz View Post
    I've come a long way from complete social ineptitude to being a decent conversationalist, but I find myself listening and thinking a lot more than speaking overall. I can hold a conversation for a long time if its something that interest me, but usually I'm just the guy in the group who doesn't talk and quirps in every now and then. I really don't have a problem with it other then those awkward times when it feels like you should be speaking just to break the silence but I have absolutely no idea what to say.

    Even this year when I thought I had finally completely "broken out of my shell" I had people commenting on how I was the "quiet guy" in the group and I felt like I had been conversating just find with everyone else.
    Hah! I could've written the OP.

    Recently my friends and I got into a conversation about what it'd be like if our life was a sitcom, and someone called me "timid." I thought they were kidding. Nope!

    "Well, you do talk, just not as often in a group. One on one, you don't shut up, really, but in groups when you talk it's like....magic! Awesome and interesting."

    "Yeah, you're like that guy in that Disney show, Ferb? He almost never talks but when he does it's amazing."

    ...Wow guys, thanks, I love you too? So anyway I began evaluating my behavior and I notice I just PREFER listening. And when I talk, I have a nasty habit of letting people cut me off. I open my mouth to speak, someone steals the moment, and I just wait for another opening. Of course, other people are faster than me, and sometimes I have to tease people into letting me talk by bringing their attention to this.

    I'm comfortable talking with people, I just think I'm more of a listener. It only bothers me when people think that means I'm insecure. I love myself, dammit! Stop assuming that requires talking 24/7! :steam:
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

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  9. #9
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    People who want me to talk more can either talk about something I find interesting or damn well deal with me talking less. This is why most of my friends are centered around my interests rather than filler. I can spend the filler time on my own doing my own shit thank you very much.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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  10. #10
    morose bourgeoisie
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    I can talk endlessly if I'm among friends...

    But strangers? Even friends of friends? Nope. Back to watching and listening. Sometimes this comes from simply not being interested in the topic, but sometimes from plain, ol' shyness or reservation.
    But I can always go into tough guy mode and just talk about the weather.

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