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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by bronson View Post
    Every INFJ I know seems to have consistently low opinions of themselves.

    Bad body image (even if they're attractive physically!), a lack of faith in their abilities, and even sometimes just this general melancholic, self-loathing.

    Maybe I've just met a bunch with particularly low self-esteem.


    Is this generally applicable to INFJ's?

    Other than the useless "its not true", how can this be combatted?



    Sometimes I just get so frustrated by it; it just seems so debilitating in terms of reaching their full potential.
    So often i don't feel like i'm living up to how i should be and where i should be in terms of personal growth. And i do often come across as depressed and cynical. The closer I feel i am living up to my ideal the more confident and clearer i feel. However, regardless of any of that, inside of me i've always had an inner strength that external things can't touch, and it gets me through any tough times. And i would much prefer to have that instead of having a worth based entirely on the external.

    Also, when i'm in my depressive loop...i can't motivate myself to do the things i should be doing in order to reach how i want to be (eg like art practice). So i don't do it, which just makes me more depressed. It's a bad cycle. So maybe come up with a way of motivating the infjs you know to stay focused on their goals...or something...lol

    My body image isn't great, but then i don't know many girls my age whose is.


    I'm sorry for my horrible inarticulate writing, i break the stereotype of infjs being good writers lol

  2. #32
    violaine
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    ^I think you articulated your inner state very well. I feel like I have that core strength too and it's what keeps me going. I just can never give in for some reason.

    I think a large part of some INFJs' problems with their self-image is that we conjure an idealized self and then often spend our lives engaged full tilt in self-improvement trying to measure up to that. I notice we can be relentlessly hard on ourselves in that respect.

  3. #33
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    We might get trapped into taking ourselves and life too seriously and it's too easy to see the error and without a reaally proof core self-esteem and/or positive relationships we might become masochists.

    (though idk how all the other infjs are out there).

  4. #34
    violaine
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    ^Agreed. I think that happens very easily for INFJs.

  5. #35
    Member bronson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edasich View Post
    Also, when i'm in my depressive loop...i can't motivate myself to do the things i should be doing in order to reach how i want to be (eg like art practice). So i don't do it, which just makes me more depressed. It's a bad cycle. So maybe come up with a way of motivating the infjs you know to stay focused on their goals...or something...lol
    Yeah thats a good point... goals are good. Its just difficult to get into an INFJ's head.

    Also, taking 2 examples of the INFJ's i know with this kind of 'goal motivation' encouragement...
    They're both really great writers.
    One knows she is and writing is her release.
    The other is also a great writer but she's always so down on herself about it -like 'this is terrible, not as good as yours' etc...
    And its a load of rubbish. She's great... and I know she enjoys it, its just this inferiority complex thats stopping her.

    In that example, how do you change that mindset?
    Thats just one random example.
    I tell her its great and I that I'm really impressed. I dunno how to make her believe that she's really good, you know?

    Anyway, thats just a random, off track, practical example, not general to all.

    INFJ's what speaks loudest to you?
    Do words of encouragement fall on the floor? It doens't often seem like they're taken to heart. Kind of like 'you're just saying that coz you have to.'
    These issues seem really complex and personal

  6. #36
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tibby View Post
    We might get trapped into taking ourselves and life too seriously and it's too easy to see the error and without a reaally proof core self-esteem and/or positive relationships we might become masochists.

    (though idk how all the other infjs are out there).
    Yeah, this could come from processing situations through Fe, which can be quite painful at times. I say try out Ti.
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
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  7. #37
    Senior Member vince's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bronson View Post
    Yeah thats a good point... goals are good. Its just difficult to get into an INFJ's head.

    Also, taking 2 examples of the INFJ's i know with this kind of 'goal motivation' encouragement...
    They're both really great writers.
    One knows she is and writing is her release.
    The other is also a great writer but she's always so down on herself about it -like 'this is terrible, not as good as yours' etc...
    And its a load of rubbish. She's great... and I know she enjoys it, its just this inferiority complex thats stopping her.

    In that example, how do you change that mindset?
    Thats just one random example.
    I tell her its great and I that I'm really impressed. I dunno how to make her believe that she's really good, you know?

    Anyway, thats just a random, off track, practical example, not general to all.

    INFJ's what speaks loudest to you?
    Do words of encouragement fall on the floor? It doens't often seem like they're taken to heart. Kind of like 'you're just saying that coz you have to.'
    These issues seem really complex and personal
    I don't think it's necessarily inferiority that makes her so hard on herself, but more our perfectionism.
    Rest assure that she heard that you're impressed with her writing. I tend to shrug off compliments as well, but internally they stick. Knowing that INFJs constantly work on themselves, I think many of us don't easily accept credit as that would be a sign of laziness or contentment. Essentially that might just be what makes us exceptionally good at certain things to begin with.

  8. #38
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bronson View Post
    Every INFJ I know seems to have consistently low opinions of themselves.

    Bad body image (even if they're attractive physically!), a lack of faith in their abilities, and even sometimes just this general melancholic, self-loathing.

    Maybe I've just met a bunch with particularly low self-esteem.


    Is this generally applicable to INFJ's?

    Other than the useless "its not true", how can this be combatted?



    Sometimes I just get so frustrated by it; it just seems so debilitating in terms of reaching their full potential.
    Huh. An ENFJ I know once said behind my back that my defining character trait is "ego."

  9. #39
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    ^thats about you perfectly and succinctly wrapped up. Couldnav said it better meself.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

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  10. #40
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    ^thats about you perfectly and succinctly wrapped up. Couldnav said it better meself.
    :yim_rolling_on_the_

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