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  1. #1
    Senior Member autumn's Avatar
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    Default The ENFP Paradox

    I have seen it mentioned in some of the recent ENFP discussions that ENFPs are in general well-liked, but may not feel that they are as popular or as well-liked as they actually are. I as an ENFP have had this very experience. Does anyone have any theory as to why this could be?

    autumn

  2. #2
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    I feel like we try so hard to be liked because we're scared of NOT being liked. And even if we see the evidence that we ARE liked, we're still paranoid. Every little thing MUST be evidence that someone hates us or is upset by us, etc.

    Does that make sense?

  3. #3
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    We let others define us too much. If one day we aren't liked anymore, then who are we? The more we let this idea manifest within us, the more paranoid we become.
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

  4. #4
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    My ENFP best friend seems to have this issue. I feel like I constantly have to reassure her that someone likes her, someone's not mad at her, etc. I know that when someone compliments her, I need to let her know because it seems to define her self worth in a way. Is this typical of an ENFP? And how can I help her build her self worth independantly of other people?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by autumn View Post
    I have seen it mentioned in some of the recent ENFP discussions that ENFPs are in general well-liked, but may not feel that they are as popular or as well-liked as they actually are. I as an ENFP have had this very experience. Does anyone have any theory as to why this could be?

    autumn
    My impression of ENFPs is that they always seem shy and introverted. That's all I know.

  6. #6

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    I occasionally ask long-time friends what they think I could improve on. That's about as needy as get from friends. I take pretty good care of myself when I am not in a relationship but in a relationship I hope to get as much affection as I give, which is a lot.

    The things my friends tell me I can improve on though are never helpful... "you just need to work on staying in one place" wtf man I like to travel!
    "you should try getting a real job for awhile" wtf man what fun is that?

  7. #7
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Jake - HA HA HA -- perhaps you should specify you want feedback on your personality and how to be comfortable or accessible or more liked or less anxious, rather than asking for general advice. "Get a real job" hahha, oh man, was that from an SJ? My ISTJ friend totally ragged on me for being shiftless just because I took a break from my last job.

  8. #8

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    yeah everyone thinks I am a drifter, they can't understand that's what I want to be. I have no desire for a "real" job or a house. Give me the road, or preferably a pirate ship and let me set sail.

    "some people say im a no account, others say im no good but im just a natural born travelin man, doin what I think I should... And I don't give a damn about a greenback, a dollar, spend em fast as I can! For a wailin song and a good guitar, the only things that i understand..."
    YouTube - Kingston Trio - Greenback Dollar

  9. #9
    The Destroyer Colors's Avatar
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    I think that's true for everyone. People tend to be blessed in the areas they value- probably from working hard at it- but still feel like they don't measure up in that regard- probably cause they holding themselves up to greater scrutiny/ standards.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    We let others define us too much. If one day we aren't liked anymore, then who are we? The more we let this idea manifest within us, the more paranoid we become.
    thats sooo true, at least for me anyhow, people say lots of different things that they think i am and i believe them....because in my eyes people wouldnt say things they dont mean...when in reality, they are the ones limiting themselves, but i cant yet put that into experience because ive relied on others for so long to tell me who i am....sigh if someone tells me i'm a chicken enough, i swear i'd lay an egg one day

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