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Thread: enfp girls

  1. #1
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Default enfp girls

    When you really want one, she doesent want you. When you dont want one, she wants you to go in the club with others and says you had some flirting going on when your leaving
    (2 seperate cases)

    discuss
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    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    what exactly are we supposed to discuss? :/
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    what exactly are we supposed to discuss? :/
    about enfp girls acting these ways

    is this something that others have noticed too?
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    but...the 2nd girl in this scenario...are you saying she did want you? and are you saying it's because you didn't want her? all i know about that is...it can't be too easy
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    I've had a similar experience with an ENFP female. If someone likes her, she isn't interested. If someone is NOT into her, she develops feelings for them.

    I have no explanation other than the old theory about being afraid of love. If someone wants to love you, you know that it has a chance to be real so you subconciously are not interested (because of the underlying fear). But, if someone isn't available, already involved, or just plain doesn't like you, then you make them the object of your affection because the love won't be "real". If you get involved with a married person, then it's real, but not exactly - it's kind of "fake" because you're just a side dish to them. So, if it doesn't work out then the person who is fearful can just say, "well, I knew it wouldn't work. He's married." I have also seen situations where a fearful person likes someone who does not like them, then suddenly the other person decides that they DO LIKE the person and then the fearful person is no longer interested. They liked them, liked them, liked them, then when it had "reality" potential, they suddenly find a flaw and don't like them anymore.

    Not sure it's an ENFP thing (maybe it is since NF's tend to idealize people), but I would say it's more of a "I've been hurt a LOT in the past, and I'm not going to let it happen again" - a sort of subconcious defense mechanism.

    That's the common theme I see in everyone I've known to do this - they've all been hurt or had their trust broken in a very bad way.

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    what is totally horrific is that I relate to this...I don't like things to come too easy, so will seek friction or be attracted to someone less blatantly available...even in a LTR something has to keep it exciting

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    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    hmm...i think it's from needing things to feel even...i don't want someone to like me more than i like them...i'd like to move at the same pace so..liking is good...but not obviously more than me...because then it would freak me out and i'd be afraid i'd hurt you...it's not really such the odd thing is it?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    what is totally horrific is that I relate to this...I don't like things to come too easy, so will seek friction or be attracted to someone less blatantly available...even in a LTR something has to keep it exciting
    Expand on the part in bold. That's the part that I often have a hard time understanding. It would seem to me (and I've been known to be wrong) that there's MUCH more too it than just "I don't like things to come too easy". Why exactly don't you like things to come easy? One would think that if the man of your dreams (or fantasies) actually fell into your lap, you would welcome it and want it to be as easy and friction-free as possible. What is it that makes a person turn away from a healthy, loving, mutually supportive, non-dramatic relationship? I wouldn't want to run away from that...I'd want to go towards it. Hope that it doesn't seem like I'm attacking you, just curious is all.

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    i dont think its just enfp girls. most girls are like this. as many times, so are guys.

    its just that u notice it easier in enfp girls

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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Expand on the part in bold. That's the part that I often have a hard time understanding. It would seem to me (and I've been known to be wrong) that there's MUCH more too it than just "I don't like things to come too easy". Why exactly don't you like things to come easy? One would think that if the man of your dreams (or fantasies) actually fell into your lap, you would welcome it and want it to be as easy and friction-free as possible. What is it that makes a person turn away from a healthy, loving, mutually supportive, non-dramatic relationship? I wouldn't want to run away from that...I'd want to go towards it. Hope that it doesn't seem like I'm attacking you, just curious is all.

    Err...I like friction. It's that simple. It's not as clear cut with me that I only want what I can't have, and don't want what I can have though. Sure, I sometimes want what I can have, and if I can't have someone I will lose interest. I would like for the man of my dreams to fall in my lap. But the man of my dreams would probably argue with me.

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