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[ENFP] enfp girls

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
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Ideally, we want to be challenged, inspired, supported, and understood by our mates.

This means we do not want a sycophantic twit or an egomaniacal tyrant. (Who does?)

We want a complementary equal, someone who sees us for who we are, and loves our spastic quirkiness, appreciates our kind heartedness, values our empathetic nature (which, admittedly, can be quite overwhelming, at times), and is tolerant of our very many weaknesses.

But, and this is a big BUT, we want so very much to find someone special to share our lives with, so, as I stated before, if we truly think and feel as though you are a precious person whom we also happen to desire to fuck, then there is no way in hell we will let you slip away, unless, of course, if you leave or slip away on your own behalf.
 

INTP

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but...the 2nd girl in this scenario...are you saying she did want you? and are you saying it's because you didn't want her? all i know about that is...it can't be too easy :D

i dont know what she wanted from me, all i know that she came to my company, she would have liked if i would have come to this club with her and others(who were elsewhere) and when i was leaving she told me that we had some flirt earlier. Funny thing is that i missed to see this flirt, i was just stoned and drunk in a party and talked something to her little about some random things.

im not saying this because of enything really, just saying..

hmm...i think it's from needing things to feel even...i don't want someone to like me more than i like them...i'd like to move at the same pace so..liking is good...but not obviously more than me...because then it would freak me out and i'd be afraid i'd hurt you...it's not really such the odd thing is it?

i dont honestly get this. why is it so hard if someone likes you more than you like him? ok the hurting part, but if you seek for people that doesent get hurt that badly from you. wont you be missing out something? and wont the guys that like you be missing out something?
everyone is missing out something, does not compute

yeah i don't know her reasons...but for me personally...i value growth a great deal and feel there's more chance of that happening with someone not afraid to speak their mind or disagree with you or to challenge you in some way...sometimes when people are completely gaga over you...they lose their independent free thinking minds...know what i mean?

these people who are completely "gaga" over you, are the ones that really want you. and pushing away people who like you i dont get either, since you could just simply tell them whats the deal and discuss. if they go away then its theyr decision, but they just might get the problem and they could adjust to it if they want you enough. this kind of approach for this thing would make more sense to me
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
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INTP, if she really likes you, you would not be so doubtful.

The problem here is that she just might sorta like you, perhaps as a friend, a male companion, a potential NSA fuck, who knows.

When we sorta like a guy, we test him out until we conclusively know that we absolutely do not like him in a romantic sense, or if there is potential for a future relationship. And when that decision is made, we make that known, either by having a discussion explaining our feelings, or by distancing ourselves. (Depending on the circumstances)
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
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INFJ
Interesting. Strange thing about that though is this. I'm an "N". I get along (romantically speaking) with "N" women. So, most women I meet are "S", and I usually sense that we don't have much to talk about (long-term anyways), so I'm not too interested. When I find someone who is attractive and we have great conversation, then I usually find myself becoming interested. There's just not enough single "N" women out there to play "push and pull" games with just so that they'll think I'm "in high demand". I can see how what you say is probably true, so I can't deny it, it just feels like game playing. When I stumble across an attractive female who I can have great conversation with, I'm interested. I don't want to hold back or take extra time to prove that I'm highly sought after. Let's just get into the good conversation and see where it goes. I feel that I'm being honest and open by saying, "I'm interested." Doesn't mean let's get married tomorrow. Just means let's see where this goes.

From now on I'm playing Joe Cool. "Who me? I don't like you. Nah. Good luck with that :D."
Yea, the word "game" makes it all seem so wrong. Let's call it a dance instead.;) It's a largely unconscious one too, so it's it not like said ENFP girl is saying to herself,"Let me play crazy games with open, sweet, and honest INTP man." At least, I hope not, but I doubt she is if she's an ENFP. We really do care about being authentic and real, and we honestly do care about the people in our lives.

I will also say this too, I realize how deeply I can care for other people, so I have a tendency to be guarded. We are passionate love fools, horribly irrational sometimes when it comes to an ideal, especially if it involves romance. When I've fallen for someone, it's been hard, and getting up is absolutely pitiful. So I've always taken a long time before I've stopped the dance to look someone directly in eye, so to speak. "No, you can't see the depths of my soul, and if you look into my eyes, you most surely will. So how about we just play around a bit, eh?":D

I'm only speaking for myself though.
 

Lady_X

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i dont know what she wanted from me, all i know that she came to my company, she would have liked if i would have come to this club with her and others(who were elsewhere) and when i was leaving she told me that we had some flirt earlier. Funny thing is that i missed to see this flirt, i was just stoned and drunk in a party and talked something to her little about some random things.

im not saying this because of enything really, just saying..



i dont honestly get this. why is it so hard if someone likes you more than you like him? ok the hurting part, but if you seek for people that doesent get hurt that badly from you. wont you be missing out something? and wont the guys that like you be missing out something?
everyone is missing out something, does not compute



these people who are completely "gaga" over you, are the ones that really want you. and pushing away people who like you i dont get either, since you could just simply tell them whats the deal and discuss. if they go away then its theyr decision, but they just might get the problem and they could adjust to it if they want you enough. this kind of approach for this thing would make more sense to me

it's just a crazy strong need for equality...while "i'm" unsure...if "i'm" sure then gaga is fantastic. :D and maybe it comes from feeling they're not really seeing you if they feel so strongly when you haven't given em a reason to yet...like...hey....we haven't even had any real talks...slow down boy!
 

INTP

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INTP, if she really likes you, you would not be so doubtful.

The problem here is that she just might sorta like you, perhaps as a friend, a male companion, a potential NSA fuck, who knows.

When we sorta like a guy, we test him out until we conclusively know that we absolutely do not like him in a romantic sense, or if there is potential for a future relationship. And when that decision is made, we make that known, either by having a discussion explaining our feelings, or by distancing ourselves. (Depending on the circumstances)

hmm. are you talking about something i didnt mention here about the first girl?
 

Thalassa

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hmm. are you talking about something i didnt mention here about the first girl?

What about the second girl? So you don't want her because she wants you? Ha ha ha ha.
 

INTP

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it's just a crazy strong need for equality...while "i'm" unsure...if "i'm" sure then gaga is fantastic. :D and maybe it comes from feeling they're not really seeing you if they feel so strongly when you haven't given em a reason to yet...like...hey....we haven't even had any real talks...slow down boy!

yea i get the equality thing, but why is that, does it really work in a way your looking for or is it just keeping you away from people who know what they want(you)?

why not have a real talk if u think that you need to have one? you could just say: slow down, lets talk.

Some people could just see thru your Ne "act" without you realizing it :yes:
 

INTP

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What about the second girl? So you don't want her because she wants you? Ha ha ha ha.

Well lets just say that i didnt see much about her. I know that there might be something realy good in her that i missed, but not looking for that at the moment. maybe if i see her later ill look more closely.
 

Lady_X

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yeah that makes some sense...i don't know...i'm just being hypothetical anyway. :D
 

sunshinEnfp

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Sep 30, 2009
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Expand on the part in bold. That's the part that I often have a hard time understanding. It would seem to me (and I've been known to be wrong) that there's MUCH more too it than just "I don't like things to come too easy". Why exactly don't you like things to come easy? One would think that if the man of your dreams (or fantasies) actually fell into your lap, you would welcome it and want it to be as easy and friction-free as possible. What is it that makes a person turn away from a healthy, loving, mutually supportive, non-dramatic relationship? I wouldn't want to run away from that...I'd want to go towards it. Hope that it doesn't seem like I'm attacking you, just curious is all.

Two things come to my mind:
(1) I think for me, at least, I have had experiences with friendships and relationships where we seem to hit it off REALLY fast and then a few weeks later, it fizzles out. I realized that I thought I knew the person, but I was just blinded by what seemed like awesomeness. I've had enough of those experiences to kind of be like, "Hmm... let me calm down and just wait and see."

(2) I feel like I have a lot of layers to my personality and I have this fear that if someone REALLY gets to know me intimately, they might not like me. I guess I'm trying to say that I don't like someone going "gaga" over me when they don't know me. It's almost a turn off because it's like, "How can you like me when you don't KNOW me? You only THINK you know me?" I just have my guard up, I guess you could say. But if you come at me slowly and show a little restraint, it drives me CRAZY and I am more likely to let my guard down. Also... I want to know that your like of me is based on something solid and substantial, like my ACTUAL personality, and not the way I look.
 

phoenix13

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When you really want one, she doesent want you. When you dont want one, she wants you to go in the club with others and says you had some flirting going on when your leaving :huh:
(2 seperate cases)

discuss

This thread is retarded; its premise, assumptions, intentions, everything. It's hard for me not to think the same of its author.

EDIT: How is this getting so many responses?! My reaction to flirting has changed drastically over my lifetime... there is no ENFP interpretation protocol. No one can interpret the actions of your "ENFP"s (and who knows what type they are).
 

Lady_X

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Two things come to my mind:
(1) I think for me, at least, I have had experiences with friendships and relationships where we seem to hit it off REALLY fast and then a few weeks later, it fizzles out. I realized that I thought I knew the person, but I was just blinded by what seemed like awesomeness. I've had enough of those experiences to kind of be like, "Hmm... let me calm down and just wait and see."

(2) I feel like I have a lot of layers to my personality and I have this fear that if someone REALLY gets to know me intimately, they might not like me. I guess I'm trying to say that I don't like someone going "gaga" over me when they don't know me. It's almost a turn off because it's like, "How can you like me when you don't KNOW me? You only THINK you know me?" I just have my guard up, I guess you could say. But if you come at me slowly and show a little restraint, it drives me CRAZY and I am more likely to let my guard down. Also... I want to know that your like of me is based on something solid and substantial, like my ACTUAL personality, and not the way I look.

right yeah...it's the authenticity of it...it's quite fine once we trust your reasons...i think that's the difference.
 

INTP

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right yeah...it's the authenticity of it...it's quite fine once we trust your reasons...i think that's the difference.

but do you ask/look for the reasons or do you just assume that they are wrong and leave the case? i think thats the real difference
 

Amargith

Hotel California
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Hon, let's just Ne-dance a bit and see if we still like each other. I wanna see what you've got, and what way you respond, react, what's important to you, what your first impulses are likely to be to any given situation. The dance is there for a reason. Trust me, you wanna be Ne-d before you get Fi-d, you'll need the warm-up ;)
 

Thalassa

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Hon, let's just Ne-dance a bit and see if we still like each other. I wanna see what you've got, and what way you respond, react, what's important to you, what your first impulses are likely to be to any given situation. The dance is there for a reason. Trust me, you wanna be Ne-d before you get Fi-d, you'll need the warm-up ;)

Yeah, you really do wanna be Ne-d before you get Fi-d. I second this STRONGLY. Trust us.
 

Lady_X

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haha...:smooch: enfp people!
 
A

A window to the soul

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When you really want one, she doesent want you. When you dont want one, she wants you to go in the club with others and says you had some flirting going on when your leaving :huh:
(2 seperate cases)

discuss

You gotta learn how to chase! This isn't rocket science. :shock:

...and may the best man win.
 
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