Okay, so here's the deal:
I have been dating this ENFJ for 2 months. We have a pretty good connection, dates have been wonderful, etc., etc. However, he said from the beginning that he's a slow mover and he wants to take things slow. I get that.
Currently, he's abroad with limited access to e-mail. We had been e-mailing each other every few days or so and he mentioned that he wished he could e-mail me longer things, but that he just did not able to do so (says the Cyber Cafe conditions where he is are not great)... well, he got a mobile phone and about a week ago, we spoke for about an hour (I called him). Right after the call, I sent him a heartfelt message through e-mail, just saying how much I enjoyed us speaking, and how I wanted to know if it was okay if I said things like, "I miss you," to him.
Well, it's been about a week and I have not gotten a response back, but I have seen (through g-mail) that he's been online (I'm always invisible). It's only been for about 15 minutes or so at a time, but... should I be worried?
It's just... we do have a pretty light, mellow, easy-going relationship and this is one of the most serious things I have ever expressed through E-MAIL to him. Our e-mails are usually light banter.
Question #1 - Do you think he might read too much into it and think that I am trying to move faster than I should (and I really am)? Would an "intense" e-mail be cause for an ENFJ (or any guy) to get overwhelmed/scared/want to run away? (However, I have to say: he is the one who called me his girlfriend to some of his friends... we sort of had a DTR talk before he left... and he is the one who initially said, "I'll miss you.")
Question #2 - How do ENFJs typically react when they really like someone? Do they restrain themselves and take it slow or do they just dive-in headlong? (I know this depends on the person but I really can't read this guy).
Question #3 - For people who have been in relationships with ENFJs... especially the selfless ones, have you ever had issues with feeling like you come last? Or feeling treated special/differently than any of their other friends? What makes you feel set apart from just being friends?
Thanks for all of your help. If I don't hear from him in a few days, I am going to send him another e-mail... I think. It's just... I don't want to initiate anymore and I also don't want to send another, lighter e-mail that he responds to so that he gets to ignore this one (if that's what he's doing). Is it best for me to just wait until he gets a chance to respond to me... even if that's a week or so from now? Or should I say something? Is open and honest communication the best or, as an ENFP, should I just be patient and wait--maybe I am being too intense?
So many questions! Such a long post! Sorry!
***P.S. Here's the "intense" part of the e-mail, BTW. I thought it was cute/sweet! But I'm not a guy! (Or an ENFJ)...
"I'm sorry if I am overstepping any of your boundaries, but I figure I should just go ahead and say this: Sometimes, I want to say things to you, but I don't know how you'll take it. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, but sometimes I want to express things like... "Hey, you're neat-o/spiffy/dope/fresh/fantastic!" or "Hey, I miss you." (Even though, it might be kind of silly to miss someone you've known for 2 months? I dunno...) Anyway, at the end of the call, I wanted to say something along those lines, but I didn't. So, I just want to let you know that if you feel the same way, it's okay to say it--I won't mind at all, haha! If you don't, then don't feel forced. But I am an emotionally expressive person and I have been holding back a bit because I don't want to come across as too intense, but I do think it's time for me to open up a bit more to you and express these sorts of things (a little). Is that okay?"