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Thread: Developing Fe

  1. #11
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    I just see Fe as a form of empathy to the max... One bit of Fe to me on a personal level is crying when I see someone crying even though I don't have a reason to. This happens all the time and it can be embarrassing at times for a male. The major by product of Fe I have found is to be guilt, if I don't react appropriately. The level and amount of guilt depending on the situation may or may not be enough to make me change my course of actions.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    I just see Fe as a form of empathy to the max... One bit of Fe to me on a personal level is crying when I see someone crying even though I don't have a reason to. This happens all the time and it can be embarrassing at times for a male. The major by product of Fe I have found is to be guilt, if I don't react appropriately. The level and amount of guilt depending on the situation may or may not be enough to make me change my course of actions.
    I dunno. Fi is empathetic, too. I'm so empathetic that I can't stand to watch anything real where someone is suffering if I can't do something about it to help them. It makes me sick inside. I feel bad for people who are crying and always try to help them. I don't think that simply caring about other people and wanting to help seperates Fe from Fi.

  3. #13
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I dunno. Fi is empathetic, too. I'm so empathetic that I can't stand to watch anything real where someone is suffering if I can't do something about it to help them. It makes me sick inside. I feel bad for people who are crying and always try to help them. I don't think that simply caring about other people and wanting to help seperates Fe from Fi.
    I think by definition Fi is more internal and less external, it weighs a situation against its own set of ideas and values then reacts, for me Fe is more about not coming to my own conclusion but coming to someone elses conclusion inside my own head. Emotionally speaking, making Fe in my opinion empathy in the truest sense.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    I think by definition Fi is more internal and less external, it weighs a situation against its own set of ideas and values then reacts, for me Fe is more about not coming to my own conclusion but coming to someone elses conclusion inside my own head. Emotionally speaking, making Fe in my opinion empathy in the truest sense.
    Hmmm. Fe is changing your behavior to meet the needs of others, yes, but it's also expecting other people to conform to community standards. Sometimes people with Fe show no sympathy to people who don't meet those external "standards" of what they consider "proper" or "appropriate" behavior. That isn't empathetic. Fe can be controlling and selfish, and I really have a hard time buying the idea that it's more empathetic than Fi because of my experience with some twisted Fe doms. Fe needs to be needed, and will even push itself on others who don't want it.

    Yes, Fe is great and wonderful, and I actually have moderate Fe myself and completely understand why it is both useful and necessary, but I don't think it's this great, noble, uber-empathy function that some people try to idealize it into being.

  5. #15
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Don't know who is trying to nobel-ize what, but I am just saying that's what it is, that's how I live it. And I have found Fi to be selfish in its own right as well.

  6. #16
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Fi sympathy pushes Te decisions forward, and Te being about the outside world, you get decisions about what should be done.

    As I understand it, Fe is that but directly so. Where Fi would futz around deciding what is the true nature of the feeling in idiosyncratic detail and then let Te in on the act, Fe is already there.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    Don't know who is trying to nobel-ize what, but I am just saying that's what it is, that's how I live it. And I have found Fi to be selfish in its own right as well.
    Oh sure Fi can certainly be selfish, but most people already think that. That's not a point of contention.

    It's just that I've noticed several people making the judgement call recently on here that Fe is all about caring about other people, and Fi is all about self. It's really not that simple. It's more about whether your ethical value system has an internal or external checking system. I check Fi against what I know to be right, Fe checks itself against what it thinks the community defines as right. While that can mean Fi could be self-absorbed, Fi can also have the internal value system of wanting to help others. And while it can mean Fe is generous and giving, it can also mean that Fe is leading Nazi Germany or the local abortion clinic bombing.

    I just like a balanced perspective of the two functions. I don't think one is "better" than the other.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Oh sure Fi can certainly be selfish, but most people already think that. That's not a point of contention.

    It's just that I've noticed several people making the judgement call recently on here that Fe is all about caring about other people, and Fi is all about self. It's really not that simple. It's more about whether your ethical value system has an internal or external checking system. I check Fi against what I know to be right, Fe checks itself against what it thinks the community defines as right. While that can mean Fi could be self-absorbed, Fi can also have the internal value system of wanting to help others. And while it can mean Fe is generous and giving, it can also mean that Fe is leading Nazi Germany or the local abortion clinic bombing.

    I just like a balanced perspective of the two functions. I don't think one is "better" than the other.
    I think thats a narrow view of Fe, I see Fe more as me not being able to have an emotional experience unless I have someone else to go through with it. Making it pretty selfless in that regard. I dont cry when I see a person I dont know crying because I think they aren't acting the way society thinks they should act, I see them crying and I just start rolling and I cant help it. Egged on by Ni I start looking for all the reasons as to why they are crying and try to apply a fix so I can feel peace.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    I think thats a narrow view of Fe, I see Fe more as me not being able to have an emotional experience unless I have someone else to go through with it. Making it pretty selfless in that regard. I dont cry when I see a person I dont know crying because I think they aren't acting the way society thinks they should act, I see them crying and I just start rolling and I cant help it. Egged on by Ni I start looking for all the reasons as to why they are crying and try to apply a fix so I can feel peace.
    I'm not defining what your experience is. I'm simply pointing out that Fe isn't necessarily "truly empathetic" and that Fi vs. Fe isn't selfish vs. selfless. I sometimes wonder if people with Fi think they have Fe because they think of themselves as as more "other focused."

  10. #20
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    Are you sure you're not describing an Fi'er who is at peace with the world and himself?

    Also, wouldn't keeping things in be more in the realm of introverted feeling, rather than extroverted feeling?

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