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  1. #51
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I would like to add, that in my experience, one of the ways that I overcame these issues in my own life was by accepting myself - by accepting my own flaws and "dark side." It really does help. Once you can see yourself realistically and be able to love and forgive yourself for being flawed, it's much easier to love others realistically with their strengths and weaknesses. It takes time though, and yeah, it's not easy. It might hurt a little but that's growth.
    I do see myself as sinful and flawed, and I'm not afraid to admit it. I won't "accept" my dark side, I'll do what needs to be done to be purified. I know it has to hurt. It has hurt plenty already. I'm not stupid.
    What I didn't like about PeaceBaby's answer was the derisive tone.

    I do know I have to learn to forgive myself since God does forgive me, and that will help me forgive others more easily. I do have issues with bitterness.
    I do not believe this is something that will come from within. A sinful nature does not produce good fruit. Without God's help, I am helpless. I fully rely on him for this.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I do see myself as sinful and flawed, and I'm not afraid to admit it. I won't "accept" my dark side, I'll do what needs to be done to be purified. I know it has to hurt. It has hurt plenty already. I'm not stupid.
    What I didn't like about PeaceBaby's answer was the derisive tone.

    I do know I have to learn to forgive myself since God does forgive me, and that will help me forgive others more easily. I do have issues with bitterness.
    I do not believe this is something that will come from within. A sinful nature does not produce good fruit. Without God's help, I am helpless. I fully rely on him for this.
    You won't be "purified" until you're dead. No one except Jesus is without sin. To delude yourself into thinking you'll be "pure" while you're on this Earth is not Biblical...nor particularly healthy from a psychological stand-point. If you have this much self-hatred you're going to project that on to other people. That is why we all need to be forgiven.

    I think Peace Baby had a good point, and I've never known Peace Baby to be harsh, so I think you just don't want to face what's happening for what it is. It's really common. Lots of people go through it. I did, and sure I still do to some degree.

  3. #53
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    You won't be "purified" until you're dead. No one except Jesus is without sin. To delude yourself into thinking you'll be "pure" while you're on this Earth is not Biblical
    I know that too. I don't pretend I'll ever be pure in this life, but God's will for our lives is that we become more like Jesus, and be holy as He is holy. This is what I aspire to.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I know that too. I don't pretend I'll ever be pure in this life, but God's will for our lives is that we become more like Jesus, and be holy as He is holy. This is what I aspire to.
    Ok. I'm not trying to insult you. Please don't take it that way. I just was relating my experience to you, and thought that what Peace Baby said was helpful. That's all. I mean no harm.

  5. #55
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    What I didn't like about PeaceBaby's answer was the derisive tone.
    Not derisive - do you feel I am mocking you? Not at all, not my intention at all. I cut right to the chase though expressing my perceptions to you. I just wanted to show you what I saw, and I didn't deliver it in the softest way I could have.

    And, I didn't think you would be prepared for me to be that ... real. But you can take from it was resonates with you and reject it utterly if you wish. But it was delivered with love.

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I've never known Peace Baby to be harsh, so I think you just don't want to face what's happening for what it is.
    Thanks marmalade

  6. #56
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Not derisive - do you feel I am mocking you?
    Yes. And I don't believe all you said was truthful, even if some of it was, and I had seen those things already. It's not like I'm a newbie at introspection or something. It's hard enough as it is.

  7. #57
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    ^ I'll just send you a don't be mad. Love yourself, then you will fulfil your ideals too.

    Honestly, I only send you best wishes in this journey of self-discovery that we all happen to be on.

  8. #58
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Nah, I see it all now...

    You two have been sticking NFP motivations on my NFJ forehead, and that just insulted me to the core.
    Why? NFPs are self-focused and always busy putting order inside of themselves.
    NFJs are more people-focused and society-focused, and PeaceBaby saying this reflection about loving ideals or people was all about myself was basically saying I was really just self-focused, while being selfless is what I aspire to. I can go on for a very long time without focusing on myself and caring for others in a selfless way, and that is more natural and noble to me. I do need to clean up inside sometimes, and I'm just doing that right now. But that doesn't mean this reflection is self-focused and all. I am very concerned about the people I deal with and might have hurt or puzzled in this matter. I value my relationships with them very highly.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    Nah, I see it all now...

    You two have been sticking NFP motivations on my NFJ forehead, and that just insulted me to the core.
    Why? NFPs are self-focused and always busy putting order inside of themselves.
    NFJs are more people-focused and society-focused, and PeaceBaby saying this reflection about loving ideals or people was all about myself was basically saying I was really just self-focused, while being selfless is what I aspire to. I can go on for a very long time without focusing on myself and caring for others in a selfless way, and that is more natural and noble to me. I do need to clean up inside sometimes, and I'm just doing that right now. But that doesn't mean this reflection is self-focused and all. I am very concerned about the people I deal with and might have hurt or puzzled in this matter. I value my relationships with them very highly.
    NFJs are not necessarily more people-focused or society focused than NFPs. That's an untrue assumption. NFJs are just more likely to build their value system on the current cultural climate because of Fe. Fe is more likely to adapt to social convention. That does not equal being more people-focused or more society-focused, necessarily. NFPs actually usually care a great deal about society and people, though our value systems are more individualistic.

    Idealizing other people and then rejecting them for being human isn't selfless. It's completely selfish. It's like haviing a crush on someone. You just don't like being told that you're being selfish. Fe can be selfish just as easily as Fi.

    It's great that you value your relationships and don't want to hurt other people. I'm not sure why you posted this here if you didn't want support, advice, or feedback. Were we simply supposed to agree with you and pat you on the back?

    Well, if you need affection I will certainly give you a hug

    I don't think anyone meant to attack you in any way. I guess people thought you were looking to discuss the topic, and apparently you weren't.

  10. #60
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    There is a site called LiveJournal.com where you can make private or "friends only" journal entries. I have a Live Journal. It's very helpful if you just need to vent, or don't want people to offer their opinions on what you've posted. Everyone needs a space to vent. I just don't think Type C is the most secure place for it.

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