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  1. #21
    Senior Member MrRandom's Avatar
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    I'm an INFJ male. I know only one INTJ and I was semi-dating him. It was actually me who occasionally got his feelings hurt!

    It's very easy to hurt an INFJ if you try to hurt their feelings, but very hard if you're trying to be nice (even if you're very emotionally clumsy).
    ^ Agreed
    I completely disagree. For me, it's the other way around.

    (for the sake of readability, I will refer to a he-person only)

    When someone intentionally tries to hurt my feelings, he will never be succesful. Instead, I automatically (Ni on autopilot) analyze the situation and his need to insult me. Understanding where the lashing out is coming from really helps me to control my emotions. Instead of yelling back, I tell him why I think he reacted the way he did (and some then consider me psychic, but it's only about paying attention and understanding the human mind). It usually ends up in him admitting and realizing that it was indeed another thing altogether that was bugging him. Even if I'm wrong, it usually ends up well (us talking about it).

    It is the unintentional things that can hurt my feelings. This is difficult to explain, so I'll leave it short this time. It's about me analyzing people's behavior and understanding that their actions and words do not match. Facades hurt. For example: saying "I'm too busy" time after time hurts, because there's a message underneath (since time is about priorization, I'm obviously not worthy of his time. It hurts to know there's something wrong, but the other person is hiding the real reason in a cowardly manner, making me look a fool.).

    It's mostly meta level stuff with me. INFJs are said to be almost ridiculously fragile. Even a short, weird look from a classmate might hurt me (my Ni goes crazy with paranoia), unless I understand where it's coming from. As soon as I do, even if it's hurtful, it doesn't hurt one bit.

  2. #22
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Thanks.
    Hopefully, I'll get to meet one.

    What does a 50 year old INFJ probably look like... and where would I find one?

    jk - I know nobody knows that.

  3. #23
    Senior Member MrRandom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    What does a 50 year old INFJ probably look like... and where would I find one?


    (I googled "crazy hermit" and got this )

  4. #24
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrRandom View Post


    (I googled "crazy hermit" and got this )
    I was AFRAID I'd be on the lookout for a hippie!

    That's okay. I've always gotten along well with hippies.
    I even wanted to be one in the 1970's.

    See?!


  5. #25
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    I was AFRAID I'd be on the lookout for a hippie!

    That's okay. I've always gotten along well with hippies.
    I even wanted to be one in the 1970's.

    See?!

    You know, there's a big Phish concert coming up in Maine...

  6. #26
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    I like INFJs and would love a male INFJ companion, but I'm worried that I would hurt his feelings all the time because of my T-ness, and he wouldn't be happy in the relationship... either that or he would smother me and I would end up walking around on eggshells trying not to offend him.

    Should I steer clear of INFJ guys, or do you think an INFJ male in his 50's could handle the abruptness of an INTJ... namely... me?
    I wouldn't worry too much about eggshells, we are so used to getting out feelings hurt early on in life that we develop a pretty thick skin, and we generally know when people are trying to be malicious. I think you will find that INFJs care more about intent then what they see. I have an INTJ female friend whom I have a major crush on and we flirt all the time, her Tness is endearing to me. I understand it, and you have a dominant function of Ni like I do, so it will work pretty good. And be pretty deep.

  7. #27
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    I wouldn't worry too much about eggshells, we are so used to getting out feelings hurt early on in life that we develop a pretty thick skin, and we generally know when people are trying to be malicious. I think you will find that INFJs care more about intent then what they see. I have an INTJ female friend whom I have a major crush on and we flirt all the time, her Tness is endearing to me. I understand it, and you have a dominant function of Ni like I do, so it will work pretty good. And be pretty deep.
    Awesome! Sounds great... especially because I am generally without malice... at least that's what people tell me.

  8. #28
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    You know, there's a big Phish concert coming up in Maine...
    Hey!!
    Thanks for the tip!!

  9. #29
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    See?!

    Aww!

    You should really try to think and feel like that again. You seem so content and relaxed.

  10. #30
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Any NF guy worth while will be fine at 50, and I'm sure you're not nearly as abrupt as you used to be either. It really just looks like your heart is in the right place, but you're worrying more than needed.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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