So, I think I have some problems idealizing community...or rather, strongly desiring a healthy, loving, (good) family-like interpersonal connection among the memebers of a given community, to the point where I get very frustrated when that doesn't happen, and by definition, community becomes lack-there-of.
Things I realize on the surface:
- "Perfection" is never possible.
- I try to fix problems when I'm not in charge, only leading to more (or deepening) problems.
- I can't shake Ni off, *knowing* when "cracks" form in the community base; I tell people in charge, but they think I'm being a naysayer, until the crack in the ground is so obvious, that there is no more community. 'I told you so' just never seems to satisfy me.
- I wonder if I'm just in the wrong community(ies), or if I need to be content and enjoy what I've got, while I got it.
- Should I try to supress my J-ness and be content with the community I have (i.e. should I just stay out of trying to fix anything?)?
- Should I move on, and search for more stable communities?
- Should I be looking for opportunities to be in charge, so that I might have exert more influence over communities?