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  1. #11
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ragingkatsuki View Post
    This would be one of the best solutions:
    [YOUTUBE="8PKndk7vu-E"]Cheating girlfriend[/YOUTUBE]
    Tell him to do this.
    hahaha I remember this video! He must be an INFJ only an INFJ or an INTJ could be so evil and pull this off hahaha

  2. #12
    Senior Member Keps Mnemnosyne's Avatar
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    Remember he isn't an extrovert. Nonetheless I would take Tikka's suggestion with the phrase "some social events" even if he feels crappy at least get him to hang out with friends, and after he feels better, some strangers.

    People do make mistakes (for him, the Nice Guy Syndrome), but he should have seen this coming. Perhaps he did, which makes it all the worse for him.
    Love wouldn't exist without loneliness to inspire it.

    Peach yogurt is made of love. And gnome kidneys. - Domino

    I can cope and will cope without polluting my lungs. - Saslou

  3. #13
    Member nzAShadow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tikka View Post
    That's why I said you should drag him physically to another place. You won't get through to him.

    Him interacting with lotsa other nice girls and doing nice things will.

    But before that, you need to get him physically there, and when he's there, others will get through to him.
    Sorry I typed that before I saw your post.

    Yeah he does want change, he just can't stop thinking about the issue. Hell the other night, he suddenly wakes up and says "they moved in together..." and freaked out for a bit.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ragingkatsuki View Post
    This would be one of the best solutions:

    Tell him to do this.
    Not this thing again. No, of course, do not tell him to do THIS! Leave that to the movies.

    As to the OP. You know what, other than listening and talking to him and trying to get his mind off of it, there isn't much you can do.

    However, as he has a history of taking things too far, as you suggested by the suicide attempt, you shouldn't just let things stay as they are. Talking to him about it is the best way to go. I know INFJ's have the tendency to just block everybody out even if they want help, so you shouldn't let that discourage you. It can be very frustrating but if things get bad, it might be best to push it a bit further and not let him sink into withdrawal mode. Try to make him face the cold, hard facts. Talk, talk and talk some more, even if it is difficult for the both of you. It might shake him up and make him to start thinking about things more clearly.

    What Tikka suggested about dragging him to go out can also be helpful along with talking. The idea is to get him out of his comfort zone.

    If you see that things are getting really bad even if you have tried talking to him about it extensively, you might think about suggesting some professional help to him. Talking to someone who is not involved in it personally can be very helpful.

    Good luck.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Tikka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nzAShadow View Post
    Sorry I typed that before I saw your post.

    Yeah he does want change, he just can't stop thinking about the issue. Hell the other night, he suddenly wakes up and says "they moved in together..." and freaked out for a bit.
    You guys are sleeping in the same bed?

    But yeah, I can relate to him. The thing is, his condition is amplified when he's alone or alonish with you. That's the crux. He will only be able to set his mind somewhere else when other people (preferably nice girls) are around him, so he sees more opportunity (for the future) instead of looking back in his head.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Tikka's Avatar
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    And yeah, it's (almost) funny how often this happens!!

    Girl breaks up with boyfriend, Nice Guy listens to girl's whinings, girl fucks mr. rebound, Nice Guy in tears.

  7. #17
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tikka View Post
    And yeah, it's (almost) funny how often this happens!!

    Girl breaks up with boyfriend, Nice Guy listens to girl's whinings, girl fucks mr. rebound, Nice Guy in tears.
    Totally, I tell all my friends, if you want the girl, being a nice guy is a sure way to not getting her because women don't respect nice guy agendas.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Tikka's Avatar
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    I'm a recovering Nice Guy, and I agree: nothing is more of a turn off to women than a guy without a spine, aka Nice Guys.

    Guys! It's possible to be respectful to girls *AND* to have a spine!!

  9. #19
    Member nzAShadow's Avatar
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    So my job is talking him through and forcing him to social events... social events are not my specialty, I have trouble trying to get out of my own cave, lol. hm

  10. #20
    Member nzAShadow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tikka View Post
    I'm a recovering Nice Guy, and I agree: nothing is more of a turn off to women than a guy without a spine, aka Nice Guys.

    Guys! It's possible to be respectful to girls *AND* to have a spine!!
    oh but the trouble is differentiating the "Nice Guy" attitude from actual respect when you're stuck in the nice guy complex.

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