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Thread: The ENFJ Thread

  1. #1
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    Default The ENFJ Thread

    I decided to be prolific and create an ENFJ thread. Thoughts, questions, comments, concerning ENFJs today? So tired of the lack of ENFJness today.
    Love is the point.

  2. #2
    Pumpernickel
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    Nope, I got nothing.

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    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    *grumbles* I guess I'll go start a cult to lead or something....*grumble* *grumble*
    Love is the point.

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    Pumpernickel
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    Sorry, I'll be sure to get back to you on that

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    Member g_vartan's Avatar
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    eh. i'm kinda just tired of being enfj, as of late. i wish i didn't care so much, and had an ability to just let go of folks that are not good for me. i hate seeing opportunities/potential in people and situations that normal folks would have normally walked away from.

    frustrating that i know i have to take care of myself more, yet i also know that i derive the greatest joy by taking care of others.

    i'm just over it. i wish i were an intp sometimes...

    (sorry, i know its a debbie downer post, but that's what i was thinking/feeling today.)
    Last edited by g_vartan; 11-08-2009 at 02:59 PM. Reason: grammar :P thanks edgar!
    Men themselves have wondered what they see in me. They try so much but they can't touch my inner mystery. I'm a woman. Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman. That's me. /Maya Angelou

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    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    *pats vartan on shoulder* It's cool, and I know what you mean. I have a lot of friends without jobs right now, and I often wonder...are they going to abandon me after they get paid?

    The sad thing is, I know a few of them probably would, so I've stopped talking to them for awhile. I've gotta make sure that I'm cared for, and part of that is making friends with people who actually don't depend on me for ANYTHING.
    Love is the point.

  7. #7
    Member g_vartan's Avatar
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    ^ oh totally. i get you. the thing i get frustrated by are some of my friends who when THEY need me, i'm supposed to drop everything/anything for them. but when I need them, they are MIA.

    as i get older, i find myself flexing more of my INT....cause otherwise, i'll just keep getting hurt/disappointed. gotta make myself happy, and not base my happiness on others.
    Men themselves have wondered what they see in me. They try so much but they can't touch my inner mystery. I'm a woman. Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman. That's me. /Maya Angelou

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    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    I have been in a thinking mood recently and contemplated starting a thread asking a question... Do you go in waves, where you're outgoing/friendly, and then turned inward and overly thinking about your emotions and stuff going on in life? Ie happy extroverted wave, then very Ni/Ti/Fi wave where you go round and round in your head thinking and feeling inside about things you've done, want to do, impressions on others, etc etc? Can even get unhealthy if you don't pull yourself out back to the present. I'm talking, so caught up on your own thoughts that you can just get disconnected from what's going on around you at that moment (Se).

    The other night I was feeling emotional, frustrated with my projects, and misunderstood. BF gave me a hug and asked me to "talk to me about it" but I couldn't think of anything much to talk about, he's not a deep thinker and prolly wouldn't understand this whole inner dialog I have with myself.

    Should I start a thread on this? Can you relate at all? Hard to explain. I know I'm crazy. lol I want to learn some kind of zen focus or something. If I'm in one of those moods I just have to put on music and force myself to stop thinking and focus or something.
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    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  9. #9
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    Another debbie-downer...

    Quote Originally Posted by g_vartan View Post
    eh. i'm kinda just tired of being enfj, as of late. i wish i didn't care so much, and had an ability to just let go of folks that are not good for me. i hate seeing opportunities/potential in people and situations that normal folks would have normally walked away from.

    frustrating that i know i have to take care of myself more, yet i also know that i derive the greatest joy by taking care of others.
    I've been feeling this a lot lately. I'm almost constantly frustrated with this "Cassandra" complex... seeing where things are heading in other people but feeling completely out of the power to do anything about it. I used to feel power in persuasion. The power to help others realize what I saw in them. I was completely unaware of how unintentionally manipulative I can be. My recent relationship has killed that ignorance. Now I feel like I'm always scrutinizing & second guessing my Ni. And I have so much trouble enjoying anything (Se) when I haven't "solved" the crisis of being sooo uncertain.

    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    Do you go in waves, where you're outgoing/friendly, and then turned inward and overly thinking about your emotions and stuff going on in life? Ie happy extroverted wave, then very Ni/Ti/Fi wave where you go round and round in your head thinking and feeling inside about things you've done, want to do, impressions on others, etc etc? Can even get unhealthy if you don't pull yourself out back to the present. I'm talking, so caught up on your own thoughts that you can just get disconnected from what's going on around you at that moment (Se).
    I have been doing that for about a year now. I usually go through something similar every couple years. But its never this extreme, and it never lasts like this. It has gone on so long now that my "waves" can be measured during the course of an hr. - Extro happy, Se like an octopus trying to reach out & enjoy everything I can while I feel that way. Then as fast as it came, I'm doubting everything again. I feel like I'm in constant danger of losing "myself" because of it. I think its getting better though because I am much less anxious than I was when it really started getting bad.

    Its quite possible that, because we are ENFJs, we will never be out of this loop while we aren't being reminded of our "worth" somehow. The "happy" part of the cycle seems to come after some affirmation of a relationship or my optimism or intuition. But in the past, the only times I actually got in this "rut" was when my environment made me question how "needed" I actually was to those I care for (for an extended period).

    And I've become almost obsessed with doing things for me lately, or trying to "take care" of myself... but it still seems to fall short all the time.

  10. #10
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I'm glad to be among you. I've been tired of being ENFJ for a while myself (even with a very low rock-bottom E, I'm still no "I"). I go through days where I'm okay with it, and then other days when I just can't deal with it anymore.

    Engaging my tertiary Se seems to help. I've had an ongoing convo with Udog about using your third function naturally as a stress reliever (not a wallow, a help UP). I notice when I'm under high protracted stress, I exercise a lot, or fix up the state of the house, or try something new, like food. I posted in my blog today what a huge help it was to me to get out and manhandle a fast car for an hour. It helps to put me back in my body when I'm disconnecting from life and withdrawing.

    I've been pulling back a lot lately. Been rather silent too.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

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