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[INFP] Just how dangerous is an INFP scorned?

proximo

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2009
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584
Hehe, yeah. One last thing tho:

Also remember we are Fs not Ts. It's going to show a little easier with us to start with. The ones who manage to learn how to cut losses actually have to learn about it and it is in the maturing process.

That's a very useful reminder for me, actually. Cos you guys are usually so calm and reasonable and stuff, and not generally "dramatic" like the average non-F tends to come to perceive the average F, it can be easy to forget you're F's at all :unsure:
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
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2,668
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YMCA
^^I recognize that :D

I usually don't go physical..though it has happened. If you really have betrayed me however, I'll force you to experience every negative emotion in the book, if I can. I'll forcefeed you mine and manipulate for you to have some more on your own till you no longer know what's up or down, right or wrong and can't find your way out of that emotional maze.

Yep, sounds very ENFP. We have to be among the cruellest and most destructive when we do cut loose. It takes a lot to get me there though.

From INFPs I've known, they just shut you out, say some pretty harsh things and move on. It can be pretty cold, and doesn't give you many options.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
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INFP
The fluffy bunny thing is BS.

We may seem very soft and non-aggressive on the surface, and this may in fact be true, but below that is something else. There is a duality to our characters...

Biaxident is a rottweiler in a bunny suit.:yes:
 

Biaxident

Charting a course
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
3,617
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INFP
The fluffy bunny thing is BS.

We may seem very soft and non-aggressive on the surface, and this may in fact be true, but below that is something else. There is a duality to our characters...

Biaxident is a rottweiler in a bunny suit.:yes:

Shhh...
 

Amargith

Hotel California
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Biaxident is a rottweiler in a bunny suit.:yes:

:rofl1:

this is Sig-material!

Yep, sounds very ENFP. We have to be among the cruellest and most destructive when we do cut loose. It takes a lot to get me there though.

From INFPs I've known, they just shut you out, say some pretty harsh things and move on. It can be pretty cold, and doesn't give you many options.

It takes a lot to get me there too, thank god. Ironically, I think I've gottne better at being able to execute this, while it's become even less likely I ever will.
 

Mad Hatter

Head Pigeon
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Yep, no cuddly bunny here either. I'm not openly nice, I'm just not actively mean. I'm rather neutral towards most people, which is often perceived as aloof actually.

Unless I am close to someone, I probably won't blow up. I need to process how I feel first, especially if it's a large matter. I tend to write a letter or email or something detailing my grievances out.

If I feel it's some kind of betrayal, I may simply disappear from someone's life. I tend to argue most with those I actually care about because of this - I need to work things out with them, but other people will simply be cut off. So with family in particular, I have a bit of a temper, and I will rant and snap when upset.

Sounds almost like me :)
It makes sense that the closer the person is, the more potential there is to get hurt. After all, I can't take something personally from people I don't know, or people that don't know me. And the betrayal thing is something really important here. - I usually try to work it out for myself when something particularly unpleasant happened to me. Since I think I have a talent for empathy, the other person's behavior usually makes sense to me, at least from their vantage point. Only when I can be absolutely sure that it was done on purpose, and especially targeted at me, I can become really mean. Usually not in an open emotional outburst, but rather in some very snide way. Some people really don't realize the different connotations "thank you very much" can have.

The one thing that gets me really furious is when I don't have the space to retreat. I'm much in need of privacy. I have a sister with whom I tended to argue a lot when I was younger, and it drove me mad she entered my room despite my forbidding her not to, and she still has problems respecting my privacy. Being (literally) cornered is one of the very few things that totally freaks me out - I almost become a different person (and not a very pleasant one, to be sure). I'm glad that I'm not at home that often anymore.
 
Joined
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The fluffy bunny thing is BS.

We may seem very soft and non-aggressive on the surface, and this may in fact be true, but below that is something else. There is a duality to our characters...

Biaxident is a rottweiler in a bunny suit.:yes:

true NebbyKoo.

it's all just surface appearance.
That rottweiler in a bunny suit
should be the INFP slogan, I like it lol.
Seriously we may seem "fluffy" and
I usually joke " i'm fluffy" but it's
more mocking the INFP stereotype.
I'm not "fluffy" so move your finger *metaphorically*
if you cherish it haha.

:hug:
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
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Dec 22, 2008
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I have the capacity for serious rage. I haven't completely lost it since I was a child. I'm aware of my propensity for irritability (and how unappealing it is) so I contain my anger and annoyance 99% of the time. I do lose it a little, very occasionally but usually its in semi-controlled amounts. I have no doubt though, that if you push me enough or frustrate me sufficiently, I will explode.

I'm not generally vengeful and I don't tend to hold a grudge. My anger is the hot-blooded sort - I can't really maintain it outside the circumstance that caused it. However, I forgive but I don't forget. I mentally write people off. I treat them politely and respectfully but I have essentially given up on them. I suppose it would be possible for me to be spiteful and seek revenge. It would have to be a situation where I am constantly provoked and feel unable to escape or remedy the situation.

When I was a kid, my sister and I used to have legendary arguments. If she was angry enough she used to go into my room afterwards and swipe everything on my dressing table all over the floor - something I had just learned to grin and bear. Once after an argument I went back to my room to find she had done this but this time she had broken something I made in art class. I was furious and knew that if I told Mum, jack shit would be done to punish her. So I tried to think of the most cruel thing I could do to her. My sister was absolutely obsessed with the movie Grease, which we had on tape (and had watched it like 80 times over and continued to watch it practically once a week). So I taped over it. When she found out she went completely off-the-wall, ballistic but it was so worth it. And she learned a valuable lesson: don't push me too far. :devil:

I'm aware this is a bit on the pathetic side for a revenge tale. I'd like to hear some other INFP revenge stories. Care to share?
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
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Have you ever seen Alice, Sweet Alice ?

I'll cut you.
 

Spamtar

Ghost Monkey Soul
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So I tried to think of the most cruel thing I could do to her. My sister was absolutely obsessed with the movie Grease, which we had on tape (and had watched it like 80 times over and continued to watch it practically once a week). So I taped over it. When she found out she went completely off-the-wall, ballistic but it was so worth it. And she learned a valuable lesson: don't push me too far. :devil:

So this is what you are talking about. You will fuck someone up by taping over their VHS copy of Grease?!?

Don't you people know the meaning of decency? Is their no low thats too low? ;)
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
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So this is what you are talking about. You will fuck someone up by taping over their VHS copy of Grease?!?

Don't you people know the meaning of decency? Is their no low thats too low? ;)
I know its pretty funny, right? It sounds stupid but its pretty low really. I mean it was the most evil thing I could do to my sister that didn't involve violence. Its not my problem that thing that mattered the most to her was a movie. :D

Still, my ability to inflict cruelty is pretty limited :newwink: But this doesn't mean that I'm not a crazy bitch when I'm really mad. It means I will scream at you and possibly throw things but just not directly at you. :D
 

William K

Uniqueorn
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Aug 13, 2009
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I will support this. I'm not sure about other types, but we are like elephants. Fi Si archivists.

Yup, and it's not just remembering facts and figures. I would attach memories of emotions to things such as songs, movies, etc. As well as try to link it to the 'big picture' of stuff already in my head. That's why when I do something like visit a museum, I'd need a lot of alone time after to simply process everything
 

Amargith

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:yes: I remember things through the intensity of the emotion attached to it.

I tend to go for the approach of 'live and let live' 95 percent of the time. Often, I understand why the other person did what they did, and forgiveness is only fair. Often we can work out a compromise or resolve the misunderstanding. I can even understand why some hound you (though it took me a couple of years, before that it was in the 'angry' stack), and how they don't mean it that way.

What I do get vengeful over is cold-hearted betrayal and the calculated harming of others for your own gain. Repeated cheating and lying, with no regard for the harm you're causing others, and actually finding it amusing that others are gutted by your actions. Sadists, basically. That to me is like a red flag on a bull. At that point, I collect data on your passions, your weaknesses and pit them against each other, to show you what it's like to be torn apart emotionally. And hope you learn to change your ways or at least never go near that particular situation again.

As for the carrrying with of negative emotions..I did that for years. These days, not so much. I let go of emotions after they've served their purpose, although I will still remember them. But I'm able to smile at what happened and detach from the pain when I remember it, these days, in most cases at least. Forgive, but not forget ;)
 

Biaxident

Charting a course
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:yes: I remember things through the intensity of the emotion attached to it.

I tend to go for the approach of 'live and let live' 95 percent of the time. Often, I understand why the other person did what they did, and forgiveness is only fair. Often we can work out a compromise or resolve the misunderstanding. I can even understand why some hound you (though it took me a couple of years, before that it was in the 'angry' stack), and how they don't mean it that way.

What I do get vengeful over is cold-hearted betrayal and the calculated harming of others for your own gain. Repeated cheating and lying, with no regard for the harm you're causing others, and actually finding it amusing that others are gutted by your actions. Sadists, basically. That to me is like a red flag on a bull. At that point, I collect data on your passions, your weaknesses and pit them against each other, to show you what it's like to be torn apart emotionally. And hope you learn to change your ways or at least never go near that particular situation again.

As for the carrrying with of negative emotions..I did that for years. These days, not so much. I let go of emotions after they've served their purpose, although I will still remember them. But I'm able to smile at what happened and detach from the pain when I remember it, these days, in most cases at least. Forgive, but not forget ;)

:hug:
 

Amargith

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Have I qualified for my INFP card yet? *hopeful look*


;)
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
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May 22, 2008
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Unrelated observation. I keep on seeing your sig as "It's not nice to piss on Mother Nature..."
 

Amargith

Hotel California
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Well..then a whole lot of animals (including men!) are in serious trouble :D
 

CrystalViolet

lab rat extraordinaire
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XNFP
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I'm not cold, I'm hot like fire. As everyone has said, it takes ALOT for me to get to that point, but when I do...I had one "friend" start shaking everytime she saw me after our "little tiff." Trying to slug her wasn't my proudest moment (I had to have three grown men hold me back.) and definitely unexpected move from me. Especially considering most people consider me the "wouldn't hurt a fly" type.
Don't you find though when you've been driven to that point, afterward you couldn't give a rats arse about them any more.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
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I'm not cold, I'm hot like fire. As everyone has said, it takes ALOT for me to get to that point, but when I do...I had one "friend" start shaking everytime she saw me after our "little tiff." Trying to slug her wasn't my proudest moment (I had to have three grown men hold me back.) and definitely unexpected move from me. Especially considering most people consider me the "wouldn't hurt a fly" type.
Don't you find though when you've been driven to that point, afterward you couldn't give a rats arse about them any more.

I agree with this^^.

I have a hard time reconciling the two aspects of my character. There is the easily hurt part, the emotional, pure-hearted sector of my being, but there is also this vengeful spirit that feels obligated to react to injustice or cruelty, and does so in the strongest way. where does this come from? I can't think of what in my upbringing that might account for this. It's too easy to say that this is just 'values'. Where do values come from for the INFP? Why do they seems so important? They aren't random, or they would include unjust actions too, but they don't. So they must derive from an interaction with the environment. But why does the INFP take this on? I suppose it can seem arrogant, but it doesn't feel that way.
 
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