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  1. #51
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avis View Post
    Despite being an INFP myself (probably), I don't relate much to the "cuddly bunny" thing. I'm usually a kind person, but in a somewhat formal, noncommittal way.
    When someone really hurts me, the first thing I absolutely need to do is to get away. I'm not particularly inclined to show it.
    There have probably been some points where I reached my "breaking point" and couldn't get away, and I guess that I became really mad, but I don't think that I'm still below average in that regard.
    Yep, no cuddly bunny here either. I'm not openly nice, I'm just not actively mean. I'm rather neutral towards most people, which is often perceived as aloof actually.

    Unless I am close to someone, I probably won't blow up. I need to process how I feel first, especially if it's a large matter. I tend to write a letter or email or something detailing my grievances out.

    If I feel it's some kind of betrayal, I may simply disappear from someone's life. I tend to argue most with those I actually care about because of this - I need to work things out with them, but other people will simply be cut off. So with family in particular, I have a bit of a temper, and I will rant and snap when upset.

    I'm more likely to call people on their BS now than when younger, and I do it immediately and very directly, and they usually just get embarrassed, or they are the ones to freeze up. Like if someone makes some underhanded comment that's insulting, I'll drag it out into the light to show I know their intent. I will also hold people responsible for their actions.

    Also, when I was a teenager and apparently quite petty, I would do sneaky things as a form of "moral retribution". There were times I became furious with my sister over something, and my approach was to cut her clothes up and leave them to be found, spray bug spray on her face soap, etc. It was like leaving a horse head in her bed...freaked her out enough to get the message across without any confrontation. I would NOT do something like that now as a mature adult . I realize how horribly passive-aggressive it is.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post

    When does logic or forgiveness come into play for the INFP? Cutting losses and walking away? If it does?
    Logic is for before you step on me once to often. After repeated warnings.

    Forgiveness from me is for those who actually are sincere about trying to make amends. Which doesn't happen all that often. Most people mouth the words just to get it over with. Unfortunately for them, I'll know if they mean it.

    Walking away is for after all other options are exhausted.

  3. #53
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    Logic is for before you step on me once to often. After repeated warnings.
    Are you completely sure though, that you ARE warning them as much or as clearly as you think you are? I only ask that because my INFP is notorious for "telling" people things in ways that don't actually involve words at all, but expect people to be mind-readers, and then later claiming she told them "clearly, many times"

    Forgiveness from me is for those who actually are sincere about trying to make amends. Which doesn't happen all that often. Most people mouth the words just to get it over with. Unfortunately for them, I'll know if they mean it.
    Again, how can you say that with such confidence? I don't mean that in a bad way, but I'm genuinely curious because I can't imagine myself ever having that much confidence as to another person's state of mind. Especially when Fe doesn't even really figure in the INFP arsenal.

  4. #54
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    You forgot photographed or
    P.S. We have looooong memories. Hurt me now, and I'll remember you in 30 years...
    I will support this. I'm not sure about other types, but we are like elephants. Fi Si archivists.

  5. #55
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adoamros View Post
    I will support this. I'm not sure about other types, but we are like elephants. Fi Si archivists.
    That's a brilliant way of putting it, thank you! Gives a very clear image!

    Again, totally alien to me! I can barely be bothered to remember even useful things!

    Mind you, seeing all this negative feeling that you guys cling onto, it's no wonder really that you're top of the depression statistics Y'all need to learn to let go sometimes

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    Are you completely sure though, that you ARE warning them as much or as clearly as you think you are? I only ask that because my INFP is notorious for "telling" people things in ways that don't actually involve words at all, but expect people to be mind-readers, and then later claiming she told them "clearly, many times"
    I think dirty looks, telling them to knock it off, and verbally warning them they are pushing it, qualifies as warnings.

    But I have also learned to not be ambiguous when it comes to letting others know.


    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    Again, how can you say that with such confidence? I don't mean that in a bad way, but I'm genuinely curious because I can't imagine myself ever having that much confidence as to another person's state of mind. Especially when Fe doesn't even really figure in the INFP arsenal.
    Because my teen years were not the best. And I learned to do things, and use parts of myself that other INFPs may never have to use.

    And it's not state of mind, it's intent. Your mind thinks it, your body reacts in certain ways.

  7. #57
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    Totally understand the deathwish thing if someone kills your mother/child or forcibly rapes you but sometimes I get the vibe of potential everlasting fury from INFP for some relatively minor infractions. Kinda like road rage. As when many other injustices are done to the INFP by other people and you are the one to add the straw which breaks the camels back (i.e. becomes victims of the INFPs rage long term vendetta)
    What kind of rage? Anger for us isn't just anger, there are several levels of it.

    Don't get me wrong I can relate to the short term rage as an INTP but as for most wrongs not immediately addressed it seems for your own good best if they be simply forgiven or ignored but not forgotten in the long term (although I have had graphic and detailed revenge fantasies, never went through with almost none of them) Revenge as a dish best served cold has an inviting sound to it but doesnt seem worth the encumbrance of carrying around those negative emotions.

    When does logic or forgiveness come into play for the INFP? Cutting losses and walking away? If it does?
    Also remember we are Fs not Ts. It's going to show a little easier with us to start with. The ones who manage to learn how to cut losses actually have to learn about it and it is in the maturing process. I understand some don't manage to learn that and that's not ok. Other times it's an unhealthy coping machanism for an environment that's been too hostile which is also not ok.

    I do, however, get frustrated and it's going to show. You don't like it, too damn bad. Poke at me while I'm trying to manage it, yes I'm going to tell you to fuck off in that many words. If you want to be helpful, pet with the quills instead of against them. If you don't want to deal with it leave the area or let me leave the area (the latter is more likely what I'd try to do). Believe it or not, I enjoy it less than you and would absolutely love to not go through it.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #58
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Hm, fair enough I guess. I don't know you obviously, so I can't contradict your answers to my questions, which must be getting irritating, so I'll shut up now

    edit - just so's you know, two of the people in my top five coolest people ever are INFP's I know personally, and I'm not just saying that so runvardh doesn't come get me with his baseball bat

  9. #59
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    That's a brilliant way of putting it, thank you! Gives a very clear image!

    Again, totally alien to me! I can barely be bothered to remember even useful things!

    Mind you, seeing all this negative feeling that you guys cling onto, it's no wonder really that you're top of the depression statistics Y'all need to learn to let go sometimes
    I'd like to add we are also probably most able second-chance givers. Forgive but don't forget (unless of course you said/did something really bad).

  10. #60
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    Hm, fair enough I guess. I don't know you obviously, so I can't contradict your answers to my questions, which must be getting irritating, so I'll shut up now

    edit - just so's you know, two of the people in my top five coolest people ever are INFP's I know personally, and I'm not just saying that so runvardh doesn't come get me with his baseball bat
    Hahahaha, nowhere near it. I suppose I gritted my teeth in some parts, but I figure it's fair that people ask. It's quite possible that the better informed people are on it the better the quality of life will be on both sides of an issue. It's also a reminder to make sure I'm keeping myself in check when I get angry; the emotion is bad enough with out an excessive reaction.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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