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Thread: ENFs communication pros IRL? Not really.

  1. #11
    Banned Array
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    Jul 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    There's communication issues at times between sensors and intuitives
    that's an understatement

  2. #12
    Was E.laur Array Laurie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    I explain my opinion then they basically go, "Huh? That doesn't invalidate my argument at all.".

    And I tend to lose my train of thought / have trouble articulating exactly the logic of what I'm thinking if I'm trying to say something important to me.
    If something is too close to our hearts it can be hard to articulate in an emotionless (more effective) way. Discussing thoughts and theories with INTJs is a blast, as long as the INTJ isn't a jerk. (I do question some of the typing on this forum)

    If you are discussing something with someone and they tell you that you didn't invalidate their argument have you ever asked them if they understand your point and ask them to state it back to you in a way that would be effective?

  3. #13
    Senior Member Array nynesneg's Avatar
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    Oct 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    I'm an INF not an ENF, but I've had TREMENDOUS problems communicating with NTJ's, and once in a blue moon with some particular S. Most S's I seem to communicate well with though. I take pride in knowing that the NTJ's that I have communication problems with point out how other people also have issues understanding them, but then the NTJ often writes it off as "other people are too stupid to understand me. Those idiots". I've gotten quite sick of hearing that from various NTJ's over the years
    Maybe that's it. It all makes perfect sense in my head, and I'm talkative, I just don't get why what comes out of my mouth doesn't make sense to the other person.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    yeah, i think i get what you mean... and this is another reason why i appreciate other Ns so much. i don't have to break everything down into concrete terms or start listing a million details to prove i'm right or that my argument is valid. additionally, i have no help from them in figuring it out and they just stare at me blankly like i'm from some other planet. But sometimes it's annoying being seen as a ditz just because i process and deliver differently.
    Yes!! Thank you, finally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    If you are discussing something with someone and they tell you that you didn't invalidate their argument have you ever asked them if they understand your point and ask them to state it back to you in a way that would be effective?
    Excellent idea, I'll have to try that.

    So back to my question, what can I do to improve the confusion/frustration?

    Let me give some examples.

    • Teacher points to assignment sections and I'm trying to figure out what goes in each section because it all seems like the same topic. We get confused going back and forth several times. Teacher looks at me and says "Sometimes it's as if we are speaking completely different languages." Wha?? I was trying to understand and explain what I was confused about.
    • Given assignment but not sure what teacher wanted, spent 6 hours on project (others spent 30 min), to make it very nice. Turned back assignment and person who spent less time got a better grade because they did something completely different than the rest of us. wtf, I did what she told us to, I thought.
    • Did another given assignment, spent extra research and included some visual examples to make it nice. I had 2x the information required in the paper and we were told to write 2 pages double spaced. I could barely fit the questions in the space to begin with, so had to leave out alot of my information. Teacher then gave me a C because I didn't include some extraneous information. :steam: I only left it out because she said it was supposed to be 2 pages!
    • I'm the project team leader. I make a detailed task list and calendar timeline and give each person their list of responsibilities. I explain to them what I need from them and a week later they come back with a nice poster/sign but several things are completely not what we discussed 3x and I told them to do in the revision. Our project client seems like doesn't "get" what we are doing, has suprised responses and doesn't realize the hours of effort we spent on helping her like she asked.
    • Friend and I hang out and talk about life etc etc... I feel like we have a good friendship going on, nice time hanging out. Friend says to me, "You and I just communicate on totally different pages, don't understand each other at all." Wha?? I was trying to be understanding, and thought we were having a good time talking about life. I don't have very many women friends. Haven't heard back from her since then.

    All except for the last one are within the last month. What am I doing wrong?? I want to be a better communicator.

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