My vote is that I can't spell. Those kinds of errors are always embarrassing. Sorry for the confusion.
"Their orientation to people, confidence in their insights into the nature of things and people, and fertile imagination often attract them to careers where they can draw out the possibilities in others." -http://www.infj.com/INFJ_TypeDescription.htm
Like I was saying, I have no confidence when it comes to my assessments/arguments ("insights") when I have to use them externally. I seem to look at situations with a 360 degree perspective, and I usually convince myself that it is very possible that I am the person that is wrong in the situation. Then I drop everything I could possibly say because everything seems so up in the air. I guess it could also be a combination of me needing to think things through before I say anything, but it's not easy to do that when someone is pressing your buttons or being aggressive.
Honestly, I have been noticing an ability to get angry developing in me. It seems to fit the idea of my ESTP shadow emerging. Moving from the country to the city to go to college was more of a change than I thought it was going to be. The biggest difference I have encountered is that ere in the city, most people consider you an "enemy" by default until you prove otherwise. In the country it is quite the opposite; everyone starts out as your friend until they prove otherwise. I have to deal with so much attitude from residents my age as an RA! I just have to basically respond to people's snooty remarks and ludicrous demands with my own measure of sarcasm and smart ass comments. I think this job has basically helped me grow some more backbone. You should see the surprise on some people's faces when I suddenly turn from relaxed and "chill" to assertive. Sometimes I end up feeling like a douche, but I'm starting to be able to not take that on a personal level anymore.
Usually when I get angry, I get real quiet and try to withdraw from the person as soon as possible. Mostly it's to keep myself from saying something I'll regret. Though...
One time I got so pissed off at a manager that was taking advantage of my passiveness. I did my shut up and retreat routine, which she had never seen me do before. It ended up freaking her out and she started spreading ridiculous rumors that I was planning to physically hurt her.
That made me even angrier, so angry that I went and confronted her. I really expected to become emotionally explosive, but I was the opposite. Calm, cold and oddly witty. Sort of like Hugh Laurie on House. It was freaking awesome.
I find that I can naturally give off an impression of confidence to others, but it's deep down inside that I am second guessing myself or blaming myself.
I do that too, I have this uncanny ability to sound confident when I'm not. And this has caused me problems when I'm struggling and still present a confidence about me people think everything is okay which it isn't. I can relate to what is talked about so easily. The cold and silent routine is introversion but then I'm infp, I've looked into it to death to know that I can't be infj. Still I do get angry in similar ways, its just passive aggressive. I'd like to know what the difference is between infj and infp anger and upset.
I think most INFJ descriptions say we are "afraid of conflict". I'm not. I tend to confront anything that upsets me. I need the closure, which can be bad or good, as long as there is one. I can argue with people and even tell them to f*** off, if need be (almost never). For a calm and nice guy I can be surprisingly fiery. It might well seem confidence to others, which is quite far from the truth.
On the other hand, I'm a typical INFJ in that my solution to many problems is to avoid them. That sounds like a contradiction to what I just said, but oh well... we INFJs are quite complex beings... with intricate value systems.
First stage: cold, quiet, locked down. I'm trying not to say anything I'd regret. My eyes are probably bugging out because I really, really want to fly off the handle and verbally assault you, but I know I shouldn't because it'd cause a huge messy ordeal.
Second stage (sometimes this just bypasses the first): Solar flare-esque emotional outburst. I say something that doesn't quite make sense, or it does make sense but there is more emotional charge to my words that I intend to use. I do this sometimes when someone is being completely ridiculous and I react more strongly to emotions that I didn't even consciously realise I was feeling. Or, I could be frustrated and might be saying things that aren't very kind to unsuspecting people.
Third stage: Blow up of the nuclear missile sort. By this point I have passed the threshold of all rational thought and have descended headlong into a rampage of anger/frustration. At some point, even the rampage isn't enough to express everything that's been bottled up and I start to cry at the same time I'm mindlessly shouting at someone.
Fourth stage: Cool-down/personal flogging. This happens whenever I get upset. Sometimes I don't even go through a blow-up for this to happen. All I have to do is be the slightest bit rude to someone and I'll start flogging myself for being a monster. Usually a lot of crying and hiding somewhere where no one will find me for a while and feeling sorry for myself. Whoever might have upset me in the first place is immediately made innocent and everything is my fault.
Keep in mind that I really don't blow-up very often but I do do all the other things from time to time. Especially when I'm feeling generally down for reasons I don't understand. People rarely ever see the pathetic/outraged stuff, though.
Well thought out. Mine is very, very similar if not exactly the same. I might describe it a little different depending on the situation. Assuming it's someone I know well that has pissed me off? And we're in inescapable proximity to one another? Hrm...
INFJ anger seems to be something that could be visualized in an artistic sequence.
Image 1: Two neutral grey orbs face off.
Image 2: INFJ orb sprouts an icy blue orb within itself.
Image 3: As it grows, the heart of the icy blue orb sprouts a red core.
Image 4: The red core grows rapidly, outgrowing the blue orb and consuming it.
Image 5: The red core becomes a red behemoth enveloping the neutral orb once larger than both and turns supernova.
Image 6: The red sun begins to shrink and implode almost as quickly as it exploded.
Image 7: Two neutral grey orbs face away to recover.
Ta-da! Too bad I can't paint.
*sighs* *grumbles* *berates self* *ambles away*
"There is no god; there is only us. Savage and fragile."