I was reading the thread about how to get an INFJ to trust you and some of the stuff I read makes me think someone I know is an INFJ (really long, deep conversations, being “special” friends, etc.). We grew up together and had known each other for a long time and I really loved her like a sister. I thought we'd be friends forever. Then in my early twenties I made a huge change in lifestyle. She was happy for me, but at the same time it was like she was uncomfortable with it. It's just my guess, but my impression is that she thought she had me pegged and knew everything about me and now suddenly I was being unpredictable and different and no longer in the original category she'd put me in. I'm not friends with her any more now because she was acting really arrogant like on the one hand she did respect me, but at the same time she thought she was better than me and was embarrassed about being with me in front of certain people (not in my category). She acted like she knew everything about me (e.g. being surprised when she saw I had a certain pair of shoes she didn't know about), telling me what to do, like how to behave myself properly when meeting my in-laws for the first time, things like that, really patronising.
I was wondering just out of curiosity if it's common for INFJs to be controlling in that way with people close to them and not treating them properly? I don't think she would behave like that with most people. She's normally very careful and guarded (while appearing friendly, simple and open and fitting in with different types of people, they would never guess – is that also typical of INFJs?). I think I was just familiar enough for her that she didn't feel a need to be careful any more.