Is she young?
I recall being similarly inflexible from 18-21 or so. When I was younger, I used to feel rattled when someone didn't need me all of a sudden. I've changed a lot since those days.
When I matured and saw the value of variety and friendship for friendship's sake, Things changed. Many of my friends have changed religions, sexual orientation, paradigms, core beliefs, etc, and our friendships haven't missed a step. I tend to pick my relationships for friendship and equality, and not for how special I can feel by doling out advice.
If you've switched paradigms on an immature INFJ, she may feel rather fussy that her advice/expertise no longer applies. She may continue behaving this way until she finds her bearings and is able to value herself outside of mentoring relationships.