[NF] Just Relax

[Rachelinpa]

istp keeps telling me "just relax."

apparently, i have a problem.

it's true that i feel like i'm always on the go and constantly scanning for connections. i don't know how to turn it off though. i think people mistake it for anxiety.

any suggestions on how to be better at this?

 

[BlackCat]

I would take his/her advice and for you to just relax.

But really. If this isn't a problem, then tell him that it isn't and that that's just how you are.

 

[Lady_X]

do you act spazzy or just think too much?

 

[Antimony]

I have the same problem. My problem is I can't stop thinking, and tend to analyze everything and everyone. The only way I can stop thinking is to consciously make myself stop by meditating.

Even then, it takes a good half hour or longer for me to clear my mind up.

Good luck.

 

[Lady_X]

yeah that's why i asked because i feel like i can get into that never ending ne loop or whatever that is and possibly wear people out...and certainly myself...i would defintely benefit from meditation or sedatives.

 

[bighairything]

Yes, for calming the mind, meditation, for calming the muscles, yoga. Works well in theory, and also in practice if you actually apply it, but I'm usually far too restless to stick with either of these over a period of time.

 

[Antimony]

[add]: ^ My Ne is a bitch about sitting still, so I only do such every couple of months/weeks. It works though. Kinda like a drug, just nonaddictive for me.

I highly recommend meditating. The first time I did it a couple years ago, I felt like I could think/process information 1000000% better. I have to force myself stop though. Sometimes, I try to think my thoughts only in French (which I know plenty of, but not enough so that my more complex thoughts can be translated). This way, my thoughts can't wonder as they do when I think in English.

Helps me stop thinking

 

[Lady_X]

yeah it really is hard to stop thinking to meditate...i have been able to but i have to concentrate really hard on a sound...like waves or wind...it is hard though and it takes a long time.

 

[bighairything]

Sometimes, I try to think my thoughts only in French (which I know plenty of, but not enough so that my more complex thoughts can be translated).

Clever that. I might try it with Greek or Spanish.

 

[Rachelinpa]

yeah that's why i asked because i feel like i can get into that never ending ne loop or whatever that is and possibly wear people out...and certainly myself...i would defintely benefit from meditation or sedatives.

yeah, i think that's what it is! and, (wow, i was almost going to say... "you know me"--haha), then i feel the verbal vomit. so it's like, not only am i experiencing the loop and crazy feelings, but i have this uncontrollable urge to share it... which, isn't bad all the time... depending on the content. but, the few people i feel like will accept me anyway if i share, get the brunt of it. this can also be damaging because instead of withholding valuable info, i end up disclosing too much and then feeling vulnerable later. (kind of getting on a tangent here, so i am going to stop! -- serves as a good example though!)

 

[Antimony]

Tangents are perfectly acceptable. We are able to see into your mind


When it comes to your feelings and stuff, have you tried writing?

 

[bighairything]

yeah it really is hard to stop thinking to meditate...i have been able to but i have to concentrate really hard on a sound...like waves or wind...it is hard though and it takes a long time.

Very hard for most people to get the time, but if they can it's not a bad idea to go away on long(-ish) meditation retreats. I've been on a couple of 10-day ones when you're meditating from four in the morning until 10 at night, basically living like a monk and not being able to speak to anyone. It was one of hardest things I have ever done, and not actually very relaxing at all, but well worth it though. Changed my life.

And it does mean that when you do bring yourself to sit down and meditate away from the retreats, it is a lot easier.

 

[Lady_X]

it sounds quite hellish actually...i mean i could dig like a weekend in nature by myself no talking but to actually try not to think the whole time...yikes!

 

[bighairything]

A great deal of the time it is kind of hellish actually. The voice in your head that you just want to shut up is pretty bad, the not talking was probably the worse for me, but it's also quite physically painful.

But, but, but... it really is worth it though. And good bits are very good.

 

[Rachelinpa]

Tangents are perfectly acceptable. We are able to see into your mind


When it comes to your feelings and stuff, have you tried writing?

writing definitely helps, so i don't feel like i'm burdening other people with my thoughts. but, i am still always caught up in thinking who am i, what do i want, how do i feel, how do they feel, do they like me, is this right, should i do anything differently, am i being true to myself... over and over and over again. sometimes it is like the plague whereas other times it's super interesting.

i just don't like the confusion... and sometimes, i don't even think about it until someone says to me "just relax!" -- cause that sparks a whole new train of thought... "am i being myself? is this a negative quality that i should work on... or just part of who i am?"

 

[INTP]

I feel the same, but with Ti. So instead of scanning like you, im analyzing too much of what i scan with Ne. i know its not easy to turn off or even limit your first function, but it can be done by using(and developing them by using them) your other functions instead of the first one. First function is led by the second, so i think its better to use other functions than your second one. Allso since Ne is extraverted function, some introverted function like Si could be better and maybe try some Te when you need to extravert. I know you cant turn off Ne fully, but when you see that you use it too much, you can try to use other functions instead as much as possible to take your mind off Ne.

 

[Rachelinpa]

yeah, i definitely need to work on Fi. it does rein it in cause then i'm more secure. thing is, being extroverted has me not wanting to consider Fi alone and wanting to immediately share any new info i discover about my feelings. haaaha. it's almost like i find it irrelevant until i bounce it off another person. odd, no?

 

[rainoneventide]

If it isn't a problem for you than it's not a problem unless you make it a problem.
So relax and don't make it a problem, lol.

 

[Lady_X]

yeah, i definitely need to work on Fi. it does rein it in cause then i'm more secure. thing is, being extroverted has me not wanting to consider Fi alone and wanting to immediately share any new info i discover about my feelings. haaaha. it's almost like i find it irrelevant until i bounce it off another person. odd, no?

yeah me too...i have to share the revelations or new perspectives...is that what you mean?

 

[Domino]

Anyone else despise being told to "just relax"?