[INFP] INFP Communication : The Conciliator

[Ginkgo]

*WARNING* All of the ideas represented in this thread were formed by an INFP. They are not necessarily intended to inform others. They may not adhere to any sort of reality. They may also ignore prior rules or ideas. Agreement, positive reinforcement, critiquing, and justified reasoning are very welcomed.*WARNING*

Although I think that functional analysis inevitably cheapens the concept of human thought, I'm going to use them to conceptualize my observations. They make my life easier.
My Basic INFP Model

The primary goal for any INFP is to conciliate facts in order to form a unique self image. This self image is confided, but malleable.

Fi is used to represent the self-image and personal values. It acts as a catalyst for data(Si) to be sifted, analyzed, and compared (Ne) so that the INFP ideals maybe fully defined.

Communication:

INFPs often act as re-conciliators and harmonizers within their social groups. This is because their self-image is often identified by their peers. Thus, they frequently feel compelled to agree with those around them and draw them together to form a cohesive environment.

INFPs are particularly adept at drawing past experiences (Si) from their memories and tying them together (Ne) with experiences of those around them. This is why they are often prized as confidants and looked upon as one of the most "loving" of all the Archetypes. However, their motivations for their behaviors are often stimulated by their personal needs for communal peace.

In fact, the best way to identify an INFP may very well be to simply disagree with them and observe their behavior. If this is done properly, they may often feel the need to expand upon their personal experience and knowledge to gain a common denominator with those who they converse with. However, if there are not mutual ideals being manifested between the INFP and their acquaintances, the INFP may withdraw, quickly change the subject, or become confused. If threatened, they may even lash out (Te) and criticize those around them. Of course, this is a rare occurrence because INFPs usually have an uncanny ability to communicate with warmth and integrity in one-on-one situations.

Learning :

INFPs are exceptionally curious individuals. This, coupled with the fact that they are regularly considerate, often makes them prized students. However, INFPs often deviate from the common curriculum in order to find information about subjects that coincide with their personal ideals. These ideals may relate (Ne) to anything (Si) that the INFP identifies (Fi) with; whether it be the local flora and fauna, spaceships, Dinosaurs, or even MBTI. Because of this, INFP children may often have the tendency to daydream in the classroom if the current subject matter does not interest them. On a side note, I recommend that INFP students find some sort of personal relation with learning material. This may be hard to do, but it has it's benefits. INFPs need an organized, healthy, and even entertaining learning environment to promote their personal growth and awareness. They adore learning about human nature because it encourages their egos.

EDIT: INFP cognitive habits allow them to be one of the most linguistically fluent Archetypes. They are naturally inclined to clarify (Fi) concepts and symbols by delving into the past (Si) and relating it with the present. For instance, if an INFP does not know the definition of a certain word, such as "Proverbs", then he/she will dissect "Proverbs" in relation to the prior concepts of "Pro" and "Verbs". They can then form a personal definition for the word which often holds true to the objective definition.

Behavior in Social Structures :

As stated earlier, INFPs often act as peace-makers within their cliques and workplaces. Furthermore, they are often valued for original thoughts that extend from the status quo. They may even climb up social hierarchies with ease if they learn to use their creativity to gain an edge on their competitors. Unfortunately, if they feel that their identity is threatened by the rules and regulations of their work places, they tend to disassociate with their respective bureaucracies. Clever INFPs will even find loop-holes to bypass authority figures in an effort to create their own personal systems for working. This behavior can occasionally be beneficial because it subliminally catalyzes change within social networks. In fact, many INFP social critics and philosophers are still beloved today because of their insight and compassionate nature. You may find that INFPs, along with other Ne users, will change their type on these forums because they feel confined. However, they must learn that social boundaries are usually established to maintain order and serenity - not chaos and imprisonment.

EDIT:Problem Solving :

INFPs are apt at problem solving because they can focus on the past (Si) and project alternatives (Ne) for future scenarios. This gives them the ability to act as counselors and teachers. However, their style in doing so is much more indirect than their INFJ cousins because they lay out multiple paths for their clients to choose from. They may often feel the tendency to clarify what the problem is by breaking it down into a rational format, but they can become incredibly indecisive when actually taking personal action.



That's all I really have to offer from my own experiences. Most of this information probably isn't new to you, but it serves as a personal testament, which is important because I am an INFP.

Special Thanks to:
-Keirsey
-LA
-Wonkavision
-Fuzzcrossed
-uDog
-Outsider
-Edgar
-The Sky is BLUE!
-Rainbows
-BlackCat

 

[Lightyear]

INFPs often act as re-conciliators and harmonizers within their social groups. This is because their self-image is often identified by their peers. Thus, they frequently feel compelled to agree with those around them and draw them together to form a cohesive environment.

How is that different from an INFJ or Fe-user? Externally I would look exactly the same, I care far more about harmony and restoring the peace than about being right and I naturally try to draw people together and have to be careful that I don't just agree with what people say for the sake of avoiding conflict. (though I am not sure how much my self-image is influenced by my peers, probably to some degree though I tend to be pretty indpendent-minded on the inside even if I don't voice it) So what's the differnce between an INFP and an INFJ? Different motivations for the same behaviours?

I should also add that I am an Enneagramm 9, the Peacemaker, which of course also influences my actions.

 

[Seymour]

In my experience the style is fairly different between INFJs and INFPs. INFJs are more directive and more of the judgment is directed outward (both negative judgments and warm, affirming judgments). They are direct in giving feedback to people and can even come across as critical, even though their usual motivation is to help the person receiving the feedback.

INFPs are less directing, and in general less likely to share judgments with those they don't trust and know well unless a core principle is involved. INFPs can be unrelentingly self critical, but that's not always visible externally.

Socially I think INFPs come across as easier going but a bit more distant, even though internally they are less flexible about anything central. INFJs appear more judgmental and more expressive, but are more open to changing their mind and have an easier time taking in new conflicting information.

Of course all of the above may be more descriptive of me vs the INFJs I have known, rather than INFPs vs INFJs in general.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Well done.

There's only a few points I'd disagree with....

CommunicationINFPs often act as re-conciliators and harmonizers within their social groups. This is because their self-image is often identified by their peers. Thus, they frequently feel compelled to agree with those around them and draw them together to form a cohesive environment.

I disagree with this, for myself anyway, but I know I am not the only INFP who will speak their mind. If I don't want to cause conflict because it's not worth it (and often it isn't), then I just stay quiet and/or leave. I will not agree if I do not feel that way though. I made a thread on INFPgc about being a people pleaser or overly candid, and I think INFPs tend to fall one way or the other.

INFPs are particularly adept at drawing past experiences (Si) from their memories and tying them together (Ne) with experiences of those around them. This is why they are often prized as confidants and looked upon as one of the most "loving" of all the Archetypes. However, their motivations for their behaviors are often stimulated by their personal needs for communal peace.

I would replace "communal" with "internal". I think Fi seeks internal harmony for every individual, and Fe seeks external harmony in the group.

In fact, the best way to identify an INFP may very well be to simply disagree with them and observe their behavior. If this is done properly, they may often feel the need to expand upon their personal experience and knowledge to gain a common denominator with those who they converse with. However, if there are not mutual ideals being manifested between the INFP and their acquaintances, the INFP may withdraw, quickly change the subject, or become confused. If threatened, they may even lash out (Te) and criticize those around them. Of course, this is a rare occurrence because INFPs usually have an uncanny ability to communicate with warmth and integrity in one-on-one situations.

I agree with this though, for me. I will debate a topic if it has a real purpose...the person genuinely wants to understand my thoughts, or I want to hear theirs without it becoming a competition. I will not debate a topic because someone egotistically thinks they need to prove me wrong. It's the NF win-win situation that will compel me to make an argument, and if it's not possible, then I won't take the bait.

However, if in a situation, I look around and see no one standing up for what I believe is true and right, then I will take a stand. Most of the time, people come out and thank me for doing so. It appears more people were thinking it, but no one wanted to say it, so they just stayed quiet while a few loudmouths stated their skewed opinions. I try and avoid these situations though, because it shakes me up.

 

[Wonkavision]

Good job, Tater.

Hmmmm.....

I love INFPs.

 

[speculative]

See, we can do "wall of text" too.

Thanks for the read Mystic Tater. I'll have to digest it more later, but I agree with the overall premise and ideas. I would like to see the darkside INFP/Te monster aspect feature a bit more in the unhealthy communication aspect, but that's just me.

 

[neptunesnet]

I like.

 

[Polaris]

[...]

This is a fantastic post, Mystic. It's easily one of the most thoughtful INFP profiles I've read.

 

[Ginkgo]

Well done.

There's only a few points I'd disagree with....



I disagree with this, for myself anyway, but I know I am not the only INFP who will speak their mind. If I don't want to cause conflict because it's not worth it (and often it isn't), then I just stay quiet and/or leave. I will not agree if I do not feel that way though. I made a thread on INFPgc about being a people pleaser or overly candid, and I think INFPs tend to fall one way or the other.

Yes, I'm sure some of the more extroverted INFPs may resemble ENFPs in the sense that they want to express their opinions in an effort to inform and motivate those around them. I actually think this is a healthy habit to develop because it allows the INFP to defuse their emotion, rather than containing it to the point of self intoxication.

ENFPs promote their ideals without hesitation by drawing comparisons between things.

INFPs contemplate their ideals without hesitation by drawing comparisons between things.

I would replace "communal" with "internal". I think Fi seeks internal harmony for every individual, and Fe seeks external harmony in the group.

Well, I can understand what you are saying, but the point I was trying to make was that some INFPs develop a self-image through groups and organizations. Therefore, if the organization is tarnished, the INFPs Fi is tarnished. So basically communal=internal.

This kind of ties back to why I think that cognitive function theory is convoluted. Fi and Fe can be misconstrued or linked.

Or maybe I just have a strong Fe.

I agree with this though, for me. I will debate a topic if it has a real purpose...the person genuinely wants to understand my thoughts, or I want to hear theirs without it becoming a competition. I will not debate a topic because someone egotistically thinks they need to prove me wrong. It's the NF win-win situation that will compel me to make an argument, and if it's not possible, then I won't take the bait.

However, if in a situation, I look around and see no one standing up for what I believe is true and right, then I will take a stand. Most of the time, people come out and thank me for doing so. It appears more people were thinking it, but no one wanted to say it, so they just stayed quiet while a few loudmouths stated their skewed opinions. I try and avoid these situations though, because it shakes me up.

Me too.

How is that different from an INFJ or Fe-user? Externally I would look exactly the same, I care far more about harmony and restoring the peace than about being right and I naturally try to draw people together and have to be careful that I don't just agree with what people say for the sake of avoiding conflict. (though I am not sure how much my self-image is influenced by my peers, probably to some degree though I tend to be pretty indpendent-minded on the inside even if I don't voice it) So what's the differnce between an INFP and an INFJ? Different motivations for the same behaviours?

I should also add that I am an Enneagramm 9, the Peacemaker, which of course also influences my actions.

Exactly.

Meh, I really don't take that much stock in Enneagram because it only highlights individual motives, which can change based on the environment of the individual.

For instance, when I got to this forum, I would have been thought of as a 5 because I was trying to learn as much as possible. I still probably come off that way.

Very often, however, I am seen as more of a 9 because of my agreeableness. I don't really like fractions to develop in my social groups, but I usually can't do much to mend the situation if it happens.

I suppose my default motivations are more relative to a 4w5, but there are also times when I'm a 6.

It's extremely muddled.

I tried my best to make my OP as straightforward as possible because I think that there is an overwhelming number of personality pages that induce the Forer effect by saying something like : "INFPs are often very considerate, but they can also be very cold". I'd rather try to reinforce why and when INFPs are considerate or cold.

I just made some more additions that I recalled from my (Si)